Skeptical Humanities

I’m recovering from a case of what was probably the Outbreak virus and working variously on numerous little projects, as always. But I’m not so busy that I would miss this week’s conspiracy theory round-up. I have been looking at some pretty horrid Christian Identity stuff lately, so I am a little more bitter than usual. It won’t appear here. You’re welcome.

• Jerome Corsi and Joseph Farah continue to paddle about in the shallow end of the pool with hard-hitting coverage of the President’s nationality. Also, Pat Boone comes out of the closet. As Birther! Sorry, don’t take that the wrong way!
• Barack Obama was manufactured by the CIA. I can’t tell if they mean literally, a la Lee Majors, or figuratively.
• At a UK event called Weird 11 (does that mean “slightly less improbable than Majestic-12”?), conspiracy theories are batted around like ping-pong balls. Also, I really like the idea of an organization called “Hospital Porters Against the New World Order.”
• Why is Homeland Security having drills on the same day that Elenin is in “alignment.” Also, what the hell is “alignment”? And what does it have to do with the Denver Airport? And have the folks from the Intel Hub forgotten to take their meds?
• In related news, sometimes asking questions is a sign of a healthy curious mind. Other times, not so much: “Barack Obama Colo. conspiracy theories: Is he avoiding Comet Elenin or leading nuclear test?“
• Also related: Infowars: “Creepy things are creepy.”
• UFOs are from Lake Erie, apparently. I like the title: “Claim: Giant UFO Base Under Lake Erie.” Unfortunately, they could not truthfully go with the headline: “Evidence: Giant UFO Base Under Lake Erie.”

• Here was five awesome minutes worth of research on my part. Some guy makes a video about transcripts of the radio chatter between the LEM and Command Module on Apollo 10 while they were behind the moon. This is cool enough for me, but then the crew members report hearing what they call music, “like andouter space-like thing”. Here’s the vid:

So the guy highlights a few quotes. Luckily, he zooms in enough on them so that at time 3:38, you can see that the noise is on channel VFH-A, which I dropped into the Googles and got an eminently reasonable explanation. Shielded by the moon, Apollo was not receiving any terrestrial broadcast, but broadcasts are not the only source of radio in the universe, or even the solar system. Lacking other radio sources, Jupiter would have been the loudest radio source in Earth’s lunar radio shadow. Guess what it sounds like?

Awesome! So, guys, do your homework. Learning is cool!

• My only excursion to 9/11 Trutherism this week (probably because I never get invited to the orgies of deception) is both unintentionally ironic and condescending. I think it’s a snippet from the most recent bigtime Truther vid, 9/11: Explosive Evidence: Experts Speak Out. In it, psychologists tell you exactly why you can’t let go of that feeling that the government is a warm cuddly friend who strokes your inner thigh every night as you drift off–COGNITIVE DISSONANCE! You can start to expect hearing this phrase used by Truthers (as I have recently–it’s a charge leveled against me twice here).

The funny thing is that absolutely nobody worth listening to takes their arguments seriously, so what do they do to correct the disparity between that reality and their understanding of the world? They invoke cognitive dissonance! Ahahaha! Damn, I love the irony. It’s like a loop-the-loop of fail.

• “What the Joint Special Ops Command and the Illuminati Have in Common” is the title and it is a compact world of hurt, let me tell you, beginning with the notion that it existed “throughout the 1800s” (it was totally non-existent by 1787) and ending with the assertion that the Illuminati were involved in the French Revolution (nope).
• You know, TPM, I’m getting tired of the phrase “extremist.” The people being discussed actually have views that distinguish them from others. You should use that more useful term. There’s nothing illegal with being extreme in your views.
• Brave patriots are standing up to fight the UN’s plan to encourage sustainable agricultural development, Agenda 21.
• NASA declares parts of the moon “off limits”–for some reason, probably related to aliens or alien cities or alien-human interbreeding or something.
• Yep. Vigilant Citizen. Symbolic pics. Yep.
• Even the John Birch Society has defenders.
• FederalJack reports that Susan Lindauer is getting death threats. Vigorously resists getting anything like independent confirmation.
• We Are Change NY is racist–ZOG is mentioned.
• There is only one explanation for this. UFOs are being transported to Las Vegas.

Conspiracy Theories of the Week:

• As a recipient of some of his death threats, I thought that this was timely. Dennis Markuze, aka David Mabus, is an undercover liberal planted to make certain conservatives (who I’m assuming share a worldview that they identify with) look as bad as Dennis Markuze.
• The other one comes through Alex Jones’s site: “Do dolphins speak in hieroglyphics and could we decipher them?” As long as they don’t say, “So long, and thanks for all the fish,” we’ll be OK.

That’s all everyone! Don’t take any wooden nickels. Or any all-nickel nickels, for that matter.

RJB

I’m back. I’m almost done grading and can afford to give two hours to my last remaining joy, This Week in Conspiracy. I have a few weeks worth of stuff, since last week I stuck just to the 9/11 material that came through, most of which was actually recycled content. Oh well. Beats thinking.

• My favorite tweet of the week: “@JoshRosenau: My conspiracy theory of the day: Bachmann is a public health mole set out to highlight the insanity of anti-vaccine claims.” If you haven’t heard, Rep. Bachmann claimed that the HPV vaccine, a literal cure for multiple types of cancer, makes you mentally retarded. Stephen Colbert’s analysis was my favorite. Ron Paul’s supporters are now scaring people with anti-vaccine propaganda.
• UberBirther Joseph Farah declares his damage from the heavens!
• Russian creates time machine! In Soviet Russia, time machine creates you! And for some reason he thinks that the first thing everyone wants is to go back and stop the USSR from falling apart. ????
• Clearly, this drawing of the Atlanta bus routes proves that a giant supercomputer is in control of the world.
• The Posse Comitatus writes to the Record-Courier. Read those letters. Oregon is fucking scary.
• NASA Whistleblower, Alien Cities On Moon.
• How does someone who claims to be from Anonymous justify hacking celeb phones and posting their nudie shots? Badly:

“Attention Hollywood. We are Anonymous. We have been watching you. We have been listening to you. You have been allowed to run free too long. The time of Jew-controlled media is over. We are taking back the media with your faggot vampires and Scientology pastors. We are here for the people. We are here for the Lulz. We are here to stay. We have your lives. We have your blood, sweat and tears. Over the next couple of weeks, everyone will have them. We will rock you for ages. Consider this our acceptance speech for the Video Music Awards.”

• The Colbert Report is doing a segment on Denver International Airport conspiracy theories, or, the dumbest conspiracy theory ever.
• Feck. I am talking about anti-semitic aliens in class tomorrow (not joking). Here’s a twist. The Evil Jews are hiding the truth about the Nephilim and the Annunaki.
• Unfastened Coins: The Truth about the Titanic Cover-up!

• I’m sorry, maybe I’ve been grading too long, but this guy needs to focus his thesis.
• UFO or unidentified flying bird seen at a Notre Dame game (my alma mater!)
• Tennessee town bans tooth health.
• Here’s one of the worst sentences ever: “Mike Adams interviews Andrew Wakefield on Alex Jones’ show”:

• First review of Apollo 18 I’ve seen: It sucks.
• Federal Jack freaks the fuck out over weather modification. It’s clearly a roll cloud. There was one on Astronomy Pic of the Day earlier this month. They are pretty cool looking (last one has always been my fave). They are well understood, and grow the hell up.

This Week in Satan:

• “Shallow Satanists Stink up the Works.”
• “Satanic Cabal Threatens To Make San Francisco and Damascus “Uninhabitable.” I guess it’s good to have goals, but it just seems so random to me.
• Oh, I was called “Satan’s little helper” by the local truth community. Protip: There is no Satan only Zuul.

This Week in 9/11

• At 9/11 Investigate, were last week’s earthquakes nuclear strikes against underground military installations? Yes. By aliens.
• The Truth movement is going to take their message to the heart of darkness, the of power…Otterwa?
• At D-program, “Do 9/11 Truth critics have a case?” They say no, “No.” Thanks for clearing that up.
• Before 9/11 Alex Jones said that if there was an attack on 9/11, the government would be behind it. After nothing happens, he says that it was all just a big scare that the government was responsible for. It’s a study in confirmation bias in his followers–they forget the misses. Psychics and other scam artists rely on this type of silliness. What, Alex, did the towers collapse and not collapse too? (In which case, the terrorists took down Schrodinger’s Towers.) Regardless, the government is always wrong, no matter what.
• 9/11 is Occult-Based Trauma Mind Control.

• One of Robert Palmer’s backup dancers says that the Reality community is trying to discredit WTC7 Truth community’s claims by putting UFOs in footage of the collapse. I don’t see it, but I do see evidence of an internal collapse happening long before Truthers say it could have happened. I mean, really.

• Really? Iranian TV? Guess who did 9/11? JOOOOOOOOOS!
• The Beeb, who were in on 9/11, of course, give a rundown on the evolution of 9/11 conspiracy theories.
• Here’s a brightly polished turd: “9/11 Truth and Darwinism.”
• Skeptic Magazine and the Truthers.
• Man admits, “I did 9/11. My bad.“
• Oh this is just sad. If you want to discuss issues with your reps, make an appointment–you can. Don’t ambush them in the hall when they are going somewhere.

That’s all. No conspiracy theory of the week this week. I have to finish grading. Those two ideas aren’t actually connected, but I’ll let you think they were.

RJB