Another week, another colossal load of conspiracy dumped onto my metaphorical lawn, providing much needed nutrients.
The only reason I am allowing myself to write one up tonight is because I graded quite a lot. I even resisted the urge to push less-than-promising papers to the back of the pile; I just powered through them. So, my reward is to take an hour or so out of my insane life and do a little conspiracy theory round up.
- Ben Radford, who was a freaking skeptical ninja at the Dragon*Con conspiracy theory panel, writes about “Al CIAda’s” attack on the Truthers. The best headline came from The Jewish Week: “Al Qaeda, Defender Of The Truth.” The irony, man. Dig it.
- Also, the unspellable Iranian president retorts by saying, “Oh, yeah? You are just Al-CIAda!,” which I first heard from a local Truther.
- Ethan Huff of Natural News claims that the outbreak of listeriosis linked to Jensen Farms cantaloupe is just a food scare to encourage increased regulation, or something. He says that listeria does not grow on cantaloupe. Let me google that for you, ding dong. The fact that people are dying who ate the cantaloupe also means little to him.
- “Hitler died as an art dealer in Buenos Aires in the 1960s,” says guy. I have to say, however, that it is a pretty good disguise! Doesn’t look like Hitler at all!
- Worldwide cover-up of the second sun. Apparently you can see it just before the real sun comes up. Also, shoot me.
- The D.C. earthquake has set off aftershocks of a different kind. Lots of conspiracists have speculated about underground nuclear warfare (from a 9/11 Truth site) or strikes against hardened military positions, or any number of variations on a theme. A new twist makes the military responsible as they nuke the escape routes of the global elite. I don’t know what they’re escaping. Biebermania? This is actually rather sweeping crazy.
- I think the title of this one sums it up nicely: “Lady Gaga Bathes in Human Blood; Meets with Freemasons Says London Concierge: Exclusive Report.” Why tamper with perfection, I say?
- Does your cat’s litter box need biodegradable lining? Here’s a wide variety of Truther books for their perusal. Gives ’em something to read while they’re indisposed.
- Andrew Breitbart finds that there is a big science conspiracy (or “Big Brain”) behind the widespread acceptance of evolution among actual scientists. Yeah. Fail.
- What to do if you should inadvertently get vaccinated. Yeah, none of this will work. Apparently cold showers will inactivate your immune response. So do rain dances.
- Secret US nuke transfers led to Fukushima blast. Um. Yeah, nuclear blasts are much worse than that. Believe me, the Japanese know that.
- When I pointed out that a clip FederalJack posted was of Pres. Kennedy discussing the Soviet Union, not, I don’t know, the Illuminati or whatever, one of their delightful followers dropped this one into their sock:
Any human who has the capacity to research for let’s say…, 50 hours of hardcore internet and even library backup; for purities sake, of Communist history. Will find the Boleshivk’s were Zionist and Jewish and you are probably both. The cards are being flipped, so fast now, like a game of concentration. Flip, Israel; Flip, U.S.S. Liberty; Flip US of I; Flip, 911; Flip, Cast Lead; Flip, Israel; Flip JFK, RFK, MLK; Flip, US of I; Flip, Paper Clip; Flip; Israel, Flip, IAEA,; Flip, US of I; Flip, Nuke n Stratosphere, Hemisphere, Needle; Flip, Israel; Flip, Chinese in the West, Yiddish n the East, and Spanish down South and you penche gringos can have East of the Rockies, West of the Miss, North of Tejas, and South of Canada. Get used to equality; you’re all niggers now!
- Vigilant Citizen discontinues the Symbolic Picture of the Week Feature. Did he realize that the music industry has actually started promoting the weird Illuminati conspiracy theory to get extra buzz in the flake-o-sphere? I’m guessing not.
- I love this next one, a little rant by Alex Jones against nerds:
- WorldNetDaily, via Worldview Weekend, just makes things up about the HPV vaccine. I don’t understand what parent would choose cancer for their kids. Honestly.
- Shit. Truthers are the new Moonies.
- Troy Davis was ritually sacrificed, or guy gets free planetarium software, thinks he’s Miss Cleo.
Conspiracy Theory of the Week:
From Eve: The Beatles Never Existed.
That’s all for now. I only had an hour and 15 minutes to write this one up. Next time there will be more, I promise. Would I lie to you?