This Week in Conspiracy (26 Aug 2011)

August 30, 2011

Dragon*Con is coming, so I am going to be gone for a few days. I’m participating in 3 panels and working at the IIG-Atlanta table. But I could not go and leave you without your weekly week that was weak.

This makes me sad. 1) I have never heard of a responsible company calling the government gestapo, and to sign off on this is bizarre. 2) I like Gibson and their product. I have strict instructions to be buried with a Gibson. At sea. In a burning Viking ship. But the raid is being spun as politically motivated. The evidence, the CEO is a Republican and other guitar manufacturers use the same wood. You have to do better than that. I saw a comment by the importer who supplies Gibson and other guitar manufacturers to the effect that there is nothing special about the wood Gibson uses compared to the other woods, however, people seem to be missing the point that the importer will be in trouble if he is bringing rare and protected woods into the country. So, he’s hardly reliable and without a stake in this. I sincerely hope that Gibson is not using protected woods, and the only way to tell is to see the evidence. Sigh.

  • Is Comet Elenin breaking up into little bits? And how will this effect it not hitting us or affecting the Earth in any discernible way? Universe Today has the story.
  • Well, who’s pissed off Anonymous this week? So far, NATO. Also, Wall Street. I think that it’s funny that one a gigantic media corporation, Warner Bros, gets a cut every time they buy a Guy Fawkes mask! Keep fighting the power, Guys! (See what I did there?)
  • I should go to this. And learn Danish.
  • Hey, how about that Libya, eh? the Bilderbergers really pulled that one off, didn’t they? Also, We Are Change Minnesota, Jesse Ventura’s chapter, I’m sure, makes Rick Perry look grown up and level headed when they ask him about the Bilderbergers. Nice job, guys. (Start around 3:30.)

Now that’s all I really have time for this week. There was more, oh so much more. But I’ll try to get some more in next week’s edition. So, keep your tin foil hats pulled down tightly over your temporal lobes, and enjoy my parting shot. Yes, after a few weeks of respite, I have resurrected the bloated corpse of:

Conspiracy Theory of the Week:

I loved this one. If rebels take over Libya, then the Mediterranean will be swarming with Al-Qaeda pirates.


Eve goes out of her way to destroy my hobby….

August 24, 2011

I’m not going to deny that it’s entirely true, by the way:

RJB (still loves his Korg A3 with a fiery passion far outmatching his affection for his roommate)

This Week in Conspiracy (22 Aug 2011)

August 23, 2011

You know, this torrent of goof is unforgiving and never lets up. Week after week I do this, and I honestly don’t expect anything at all (I’m not playing to the crowd or begging for attention or pity or anything). But it wears on you. In the past I have taken breaks, and I’m getting close right now, but for now, I feel compelled to slam my head into this ice cold bucket of surrealism once again and get my conspiracy on.

  • So, David Duke authors a vid, “Zionist Terrorism in Norway.” The author sounds surprised that people might be offended by anything David Duke says. The comments are a nightmare, but nowhere nearly as bad as Dave’s hair:

That’s it for now, folks. Getting ready for DragonCon and other events. Also, classes have started again, and my conspiracy theory class is getting off to a good start. Very excited.


A few moments for me, Richard Corey….

August 20, 2011

Today, I have a monumental task before me–getting past writer’s block. This has not typically been a problem for me since I started blogging. I have a feeling that writing is a skill that becomes easier when you make a habit of it.

In this particular case, I am writing about literature and technology and war and humanity. It will be a chapter in a book edited by a colleague, but it has been like extracting teeth from an elephant. Through its ear. The intended audience is high school and undergrad, so I have tried to be direct, avoid “theory-speak” (which I secretly disapprove of anyway), and look at a couple of books that are still read at those levels, including Slaughterhouse-Five and Catch-22. My original intent was to write about them as tales of the Cold War, in which conventional aerial bombing was being used as a metaphor for atomic bombing. And both of those novels are about the Cold War, though they are either largely or entirely set during the Second World War. But that original line of questioning, while there, seems to have petered out a bit. I lost enthusiasm for that particular line of reasoning, and enthusiasm is key to keeping up momentum.

I have changed tact a little, writing about the concept of a “war machine” and its effect on free will, and I am bringing in another novel that more thoroughly examines this concept, though it is not as widely read by high schoolers.

Grumble. It’s over 2/3 of the way there. I’m on the last section, but squeezing it out has felt like having a confession of witchcraft pressed out of me.

But it’s better now. I really need to finish a draft today, so that I can get my syllabus into shape for Monday, when my class on conspiracy theories begins. I am quite excited about that and a little anxious. I’ve yet to hit upon that perfect final project that will synthesize everything that the kids will have learned. It will come to me, I’m sure, but it has not quite become obvious to me.

Any ideas for a final writing project on project on conspiracy theories? Digital or otherwise? Let’s crowd source this sucker!


Illuminati Mind Control Lemur Baby

August 18, 2011

A clear example of Illuminati mind control extending to other species is this image of a lemur:

This is what Vigilant Citizen does all day.

But I’m not satisfied with that. It needs something else…

Ah, that's better!


UPDATE: Eve just dubbed her “Lemur Baby Gaga.”

Don’t Blink

August 16, 2011

Dear readers,

You’re welcome,


This week in conspiracy (14 August 2011)

August 15, 2011

Welcome. This week, the 9/11 Truthers were proved right about everything. Everything. Except the stuff that they were talking about. And yet they are crowing about Richard Clarke’s speculation about any relationship between the CIA and 2 of the 9/11 hijackers, unsubstantiated by evidence by his own admission, as if it was vindication of some sort. He just has questions, and when the stakes are this high, questions are not enough.

So, let’s break this down. Clarke wonders why the names of 2 known al-Qaida members were not known to the White House until 9/11 itself. He speculates that the CIA was trying to “turn” them into spies, which would give them access to intelligence about al-Qaida. Even if that is true, it clearly didn’t work. The entire premise of Clarke’s speculation is that the CIA was unable to get them to work with them. Failure all around then.

OK, I’m going to dwell on Vigilant Citizen for a minute because I see it every week, and it doesn’t get any less weird or any more reflective as time passes. Just more pictures of people covering one eye, triangles or pyramids, and robot-people. Also, he has discovered that some advertisers use sex to promote whatever they are promoting. (Jaw hits floor.) For all the hysterics over there, I just don’t get what all the occult symbolism is supposed to be for, other than for him to yell, “See! Triangle!” and his readers to go, “I am sooo disappointed in triangles.” The one-eye thing, apparently, is supposed to be Illuminati/Masonic. Therefore, every time that you see only one eye of a subject being photographed, the Illuminati is sending a secret message, “Hi! We’re the Illuminati. Or possibly Masons.” Maybe I’m just a sheeple (I guess the singular is sheeperson), but I just don’t get the why.

And another thing. VC has a whole “sex-kitten” thing. If there’s a woman in a cat suit or with cat-eye mascara, what? Looking at the OED, I’d say that the earliest use of “sex kitten” is around the early 1950s. (Their first entry is 1958, but as a precaution I usually extend the phrase back a bit to allow for unrecorded oral usage of a word or term.) The Illuminati is making a Hefnerian sexist visual pun? Really? Again, to what end? Yeah, sex sells records (VC is especially concerned with the music industry), but it also sells car polish and Q-tips. I really don’t understand the impulse behind the interpretations and premises of the behind the Vigilant Citizen website.

By the way, when I was looking at the compound words/phrases that have sex in them, my favorite was a “sex mosaic”. I thought it was something you found in Pompeii’s frisky frescoes, but no, it is “an individual having some cells that are genetically of one sex and the rest of the other sex.” You learn something new every day.

When it comes to condemning theft, however many trainers, mobile phones and designer clothes have been stolen by the London rioters, they are petty crooks compared to the thievery that has BP, with the aid of the western powers, quite literally stealing control of Iraq’s most valuable resource: the oil which was the main motivation for the invasion in 2003.

We decided to christen this one a “false sequitor.”

This week in Ron Paul:

Well, the first Republican debate was hosted ahead of the Iowa primary. Ron Paul was

Well, after the debate, I got this tweet from FederalJack:

2 minutes ago

Then a little later:

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Of course, FederalJack clearly illustrated why Paul will never win a national election:

Ron Paul: I Think The Feds Real Goal Is To Depreciate The Currency #RonPaul #RonPaul2012 #IowaStrawPoll

The Ron Paul movement is getting too culty for comfort:

In related news, NPR the strange obsession with the gold standard that dogs the Paulite movement made national news as the price of gold went ever higher amid market concerns. And, honestly, the Planet Money reporter could only say, “Yeah, it makes no sense,” which is what I thought. Gold does not hold intrinsic value, like gold investors/merchants tell you. The fact that it is so high right now proves that it is valued like every other commodity, relative to other commodities. This, of course, is not what Dr. Mercola is saying. Yeah, apparently he gives out economic advice. What do you think the chances hare that he has gold interests?  The current gold craze is an American Tulip boom, and people who are scared now are buying high, which will bite them when the price plummets, leaving them even worse off than they are now. Of course, in the strange media landscapes I wander, gold is pushed by a huge number of advertisers. Alex Jones, Glenn Beck, all these conspiracy theorists are getting paid to push gold. Who do you think is going to come out ahead? Not the investors, that’s for sure.

But back to the primary, Michelle Bachmann, who came to prominence a few years ago when she suggested that there should be investigation into members of Congress for being un-American (at about the 9:30 mark), appalling, well, the world, won. She recently signed an anti-Sharia document (which, for some reason, went out of its way to mention that black families were more stable under slavery–?!?!?!), which takes as an object of fear the exact same thing that Anders Breivik was worried about when he went on his rampage a few weeks ago. Well, Ryan Lizza of the New Yorker looked into her beliefs as evidenced by her book recommendations and what she has said are the most influential books in her life. The reading list is scary (NPR interview with Lizza), people, and she just won Iowa. She cited Francis Schaeffer’s series, “How Should We Then Live?” (which deteriorated into screeds about how the government was dumping chemicals into the water supply) and David Noebel, whose bizarre take on the country’s history has become popular in homeschooling circles [I believe he was an advisor to the Texas school board’s history committee] , even though he penned a classic conspiracist tract that accuses the Beatles of being part of a communist plot to to exert mind-control over teens by using rhythmic beats. (It’s called, “Communism, Hypnotism, and the Beatles,” and I’ve taught it.) Brannon Howse’s Worldview Weekend republished something of Noebel’s this week: “National Association of Evangelicals Pro-Communist?” Really? She won Iowa? If she wins the whole thing, I’m Splitsville.

Oh, and Rick Perry is not inviting more level-headed people to the stage at his “The Response” prayer rally. Jonathan Kay notes that one of the invited speakers thinks that the Statue of Liberty is a Masonic/Illuminati symbol.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week:

Let’s end on a happy note: Michael Jackson announces his comeback performance. Yep.

There’s more, but that’s all I have in me.


My guitar makes noises that make me happy

August 12, 2011


That, my friends, is something that I recorded with my new guitar. Now that I have reached guitar gear Nirvana/Valhalla/Candyland/Playboy Mansion, what with my Gibson, Rickenbacker, Vox AC30, Keeley Modded Tube Screamer 9, and Korg A3 signal processor, and with a little help from GarageBand on my new Mac, I can record things that only I would ever want to hear.

The backing, non-guitar track was downloaded –oh, years ago–from the web. There are live soundboard bootlegs that take out the original guitar, but, you know, I had this.

This’ll only be up for a little bit. I just wanted to hear what my new Rickenbacker sounded like. Also, I needed to de-stressificate tonight and this seemed healthier than most other options. About 30 seconds in, you can hear me stop to do some adjusting. It didn’t work. Meh.


From our foreign correspondent…

August 12, 2011

…the Blessed Professor Acker, who is currently in England. Hopefully he’s looting something nice for us. Oh, also that he remembers to steal an adapter since the plugs are different over there. He apparently picked up an Annunciation for himself:


David Mitchell sounds off on inflatable hover-forts

August 10, 2011

I came across the David Mitchell Soapbox series while working my way through the complete QI catalog. David Mitchell is funny and quick on QI, which smacks of intelligence. Couple that with indignation, and you have a great little web series: