conspiracy theory | Skeptical Humanities

This Week in Conspiracy (4 March 2012)

March 4, 2012

Georgia seems to have survived yet another assault of tornados sent to us by HAARP, probably to silence the beacon of reason that is this website. Of course, now that Skeptical Humanities is an international affair, it will be harder to take us down. Muahahaha!

So, this is the Week in Conspiracy, my take on the week in weak. And this week was not weak in terms of its weakness. It was powerful weak.

The biggest story on the scaredy-sphere this week was the death of right-winger and all around truly horrid person Andrew Breitbart, which I imagine was a tragedy for someone, somewhere. Probably someone like Rush Limbaugh. For those of you who aren’t familiar with him, you’re lucky, but he would fake stories about supposed devious doings on the left, which, for some reason, the media took seriously. Think of the Shirley Sherrod affair a few years back. Breitbart.

Conspiracy theories appeared almost instantaneously. Alex Jones wondered if the Obama crime machine was responsible for the death. He goes so far as to wonder if there is a Stalinist purge of Administration critics in the works. Truth Excavator wonders:

“Was Breitbart becoming too big of a problem, and needed to be taken out, mafia-style? This is only speculation at this point. But 43 is too young for someone to die of natural causes, so let the conspiracy theories fly and we’ll see where the truth lands.”

People die of natural causes at young ages all the time. Insofar as Breitbart being a big problem, Obama is head and shoulders above whatever goofball the Republicans put up against him in November. The going theory among the less than scrupulous is that Breitbart was going to release college video footage of Obama. Why risk killing someone? As for the question, “Cui bono?” which is being asked all over the conspirasphere, clearly the conspiracy theorists have benefited and are therefor the most likely killers of Andrew Breitbart. Of course Breitbart predicted something would happen on the first of March. Did the CIA use a “heart attack gun” on Breitbart? A poison dart? Perhaps the autopsy will get to the truth. The best part of this story was a comment thread following Gawker’s coverage about the conspiracy theories that exploded on Twitter after Breitbart’s death was announced.

Osama bin Laden’s corpse secretly brought to the USA, For what possible reason, I have no idea. Cloning, I betcha.
I feel sorry for the Fed chairman. How did that happen? Ron Paul.
Illinois congressman Art Jones apparently thinks that the Holocaust never happened.
Go on vacation with David Icke! To Peru! For some reason!
Mike Adams announces hunger strike. ….What? Then what the heck is a Declaration of Food Independence? Seriously, the anti-raw milk conspiracy theory is so strange. It only makes sense if the germ theory of disease is wrong. Seems Vernon Hershberger is on trial for breaking all sorts of FDA rules. He faces three years in jail for endangering his customers without a license.
US loses submarine to UFO attack.
Sheriff costume owner Joe Arpaio decides that Obama’s Birth Certificate is a forgery. Can anyone ever trust him to gather evidence?
Last night, someone at VDS turned me on to John Todd’s anti-Illuminati crusade from the ’70s. He was a “former Illuminati witch and errand boy.” Jack Chick seems to have cribbed a bunch of Todd’s techniques and beliefs.
Is the government keeping a secret database of vaccine-damaged children? Well, if by “secret” you mean “public,” by vaccine-damaged you mean “reported potential adverse events” and by “children” you mean “anyone noticed by any doctor ever,” then, well, sure! Of course, VAERS can’t show a causal relationship between vaccines and any disease.
Killer asteroid headed straaaaaaaaa…..YAAAAWN!..t for earth. Again. The first problem is that the picture they selected is of a comet. It also has a Torino scale rating of 1. We’re fine.
Japanese scientists invents the most irritating weapon ever. It plays back your voice to you a few milliseconds later, shutting you up.
Can you imagine worse luck? You fly 25,000 light-years, get a seagull through your windscreen, and crash your flying saucer. You get out and you are surrounded by Nazis.
A judge quashes Virginia AG’s request for climate scientist’s emails. He’s trying to show that climate science is a fraud. It looks like intimidation to me.
Wyoming legislature narrowly defeats bill to prepare for the apocalypse.
Chemtrials confirmed! By unnamed source! On Internet!
An interesting one from the horse-race was apparently pushed by Santorum, that Mitt Romney and Ron Paul had come to a deal so that Rand Paul would be the Romney VP running-mate. This, of course, makes Paul seem like a bigger threat than anyone really thinks he is. It also led Paul to state, without milk spurting out of his nose or anything, that “Some people are much more into conspiracies than others.”
A music video by “UFO truth-seeker Gary McKinnon.” Be prepared for some truly overwhelming closeups.

PBS gets a big raspberry from me this week, as they have been showing a AE911 short recently. (Check out the money that’s flowing in from the faithful on the website!) By the way, if you want to know why PBS decided to run this tripe, send a message to the ombudsman, Michael Getler. I actually called the station this originated from way back in the day to see, you know, what the hell? The programming director for the outfit in Colorado was unmoved by my eloquence.
I’m fairly annoyed with NPR’s audience this week, or at least the members who posted on the news that a lawsuit brought against Monsanto by organic farmers had been dismissed, because a good number of those people jumped to the conclusion that the judge had been bought.
Is there an alien particle accelerator on Iapetus? Probably not. Also addressed in the Astronomy meetup in the preceding link is speculation that the discovery of faster-than-light neutrinos was caused by hardware errors will end up attributed to a cover up. Oh, how right you guys were!
Was 9/11 predicted by random number generators? Uhhh….
Yes, Santorum, you figured us out. “Universities are indoctrination centers.”
A brief, if not always correctly spelled, primer on conspiracy theory terminology.
Was there a plot to kill Putin? Probably not, think Russians.
From our strange friends to the North: “World War III and Interdimensional Aliens: Great Pyramids linked to 2012 agenda“

Conspiracy Theory of the Week

I can imagine it now–an adviser to Ron Paul shuffles up to the candidate and whispers: “Dr. Paul, why don’t you stand here in front of this big freaking Confederate flag and bitch about how the Civil War deprived white people of rights…OH, F*CK I WAS JOKING!”

RJB

7 Comments | 9/11 conspiracy theories, conspiracy theory, history, mass media, politics, Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by Bob

What Happens in the Convent Stays in the Convent…

February 27, 2012

My first article as “The Conspiracy Guy” is up at the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry website. It’s called, “Maria Monk’s Awful Disclosures: A Classic American Conspiracy Theory.”

Whee!

RJB

3 Comments | conspiracy theory, CSICon, history, humanities, religion | Permalink
Posted by Bob

This Week in Conspiracy (19 February 2012)

February 19, 2012

Just got back from Alabama (no banjo on my knee), where Eve was giving a talk about creationist interpretations of Beowulf to the Alabama Freethinkers. It was a rollicking good time prefaced by a spicy sausage potluck.

It was a rather slow week for conspiracy, truth be told. I saw a lot of leftover speculation about Whitney Houston’s death, all of which was as dull as it was predictable. Don’t try to confuse us, conspiracy theorists. We know that she is living in Bahrain with Michael Jackson, away from the prying eyes of the world.

First, a heap of irony from Joe Mercola, who plays doctor on the Internet, and not in a fun way: “This Revolting Practice Targets Poor Unsuspecting People First – And You Next.” Do you mean suggesting that Dow and Monsanto are trying to poison your food with Agent Orange? Selling people sham veterinary advice about persistently undefined “toxins”? Or suggesting that root canals cause cancer, which, like you actually did this week, with the headline: “97% of Terminal Cancer Patients Previously Had This Dental Procedure…“? (By your logic, because 100% of cancer patients have had haircuts, haircuts are linked to cancer.) Or is it the completely cynical statement at the bottom of your page that you think will somehow cover you when someone you hurt sues you: “The information on this website is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice.” How could anyone mistake a “how to” article for advice? You people make me so sad.
From the awful to the awfully funny: Alfred Lambremont Webre at Exopolitics turns the goof up to eleven week: “Four U.S. exotic black ops used in 9/11: Tesla time travel, antigravity UFO, directed energy weapons, mini-nukes.”
A river in Beirut, says Before It’s News, has mysteriously turned red. This, of course, means that Pharaoh is in for heap of hurtin’ or that a company dumped a large amount of dye into the river.
Why don’t THEY want you to know about Nikola Tesla’s accomplishments? Well, it’s clearly just the greatest conspiracy of all time.
“Are HAARP’s high frequency waves driving people crazy?” asks BIN. “Not unless you can hear microwaves, ding-a-ling,” reply scientists.
Homeopath declares a war on the “war on cancer cures”. Fight fire with water, eh wot?
Henry Makow (Satanic-Illuminati-feminist media guy) goes after Jeff “I Already Believe It” Rense. Scraps of flesh go flying like a ticker tape parade when the claws come out! (From Raymond Wiley.)
Sherrif Joe Arpaio: Total embarrassment. I can’t believe this little tough is still a public servant.
Ed Asner has been briefed by SEALs about the upcoming false flag attack to get into a war with Iran. Did he see Victoria Jackson there?
Immortals walk among us!
This was a fun one, “ET mummy found in Egypt,” reads the headline, but the first picture you see is of Zahi Hawass! Yeah, the dude’s from another planet, but c’mon! (Actually, the images that they have are lovely examples of pareidolia, which I may use in future classes.
Oh, Intel Hub. They sort of freaked out when they read that 9/11 Truthers were to be considered possible terrorists, as did most alternate-reality media. Let me explain. No one weird belief, like 9/11 Trutherism, is enough to put anyone on a watch list. However, large clusters of strange, prosecutorial beliefs in individuals or groups can indicate that something is in fact wrong. You will never be rounded up, guys. Really. You are totally safe. If that happens, I’ll be the first to try to get you out. But I’m not worried.
Here is Kitty Werthmann’s own little Valentine’s day love letter to America: “25 Signs That The Nazification Of America Is Almost Complete.”
The Daily Paul links Rick Santorum to the Penn State scandal. Ach. A pox on both your houses. And don’t you make me defend that former senator.
I’m filing this one under “O” for “Oh, Jeez.” Rick Santorum: Member of the Knights of Malta.
Researchers link Morgellons (delusional parasitosis by any other name would itch as much!) to a slime mold, says guy on Internet. A few weeks ago, by the way, the CDC released a comprehensive study of this “unexplained dermopathy” and found bupkis.
From TPM comes, “A ‘Sovereign Citizen’ Sues Prosecutors For Grammar-Based Conspiracy.” (Does the lusting for power of English teachers know no end?!?) This sounded familiar, and, yes, this is the same conspiracy that Jared Loughner, who shot Gabrielle Giffords, endorsed.
From Mike Adams’ site, with its usual lack of nuance and comprehension, comes the “Arrogant doctors refusing to provide health care services to parents who refuse vaccines.” You know, doctors agonize over this, but the problem comes with inviting someone who may be sick with a highly communicable disease, like measles, to sit in their waiting room with other patients who may have weakened immune systems.
Speaking of antivaccine cranks, Meryl Dorey, according to Reasonable Hank, Godwinned herself pretty hard this week. I loved her defense: “I wasn’t comparing myself to the freedom fighters–I was comparing you to the Nazis and Brownshirts.”
Also, in antivax news, Jenny McCarthy is going to get a show on VH1. Here’s who you contact to let them know that 96 million households deserve better:

VH1
1515 Broadway
New York, NY 10036
Tel. 212-258-7800
Fax 212-846-1753

FoxNews: Left’s preoccupation with contraception (?) is about getting rid of the poor. It’s a variation on a theme.
Rick Santorum says that Satan has infiltrated academia.
This week, contraceptive was on the agenda as well. Of course, now some daft GOPper is saying that the pill has been linked to prostate cancer.
Alex Jones’s fill-in takes it up a notch, claiming that Bohemian Grove is a secret gay resort.
Contrary to what many conspiracy theorists seem to believe, it is very difficult to know what is going on inside someone else’s head. Sometimes, intent to cause harm can only be indicated indirectly, which is why the Intel Hub’s report on how the FBI routinely sets up patsies…for some reason…rings as false as vows of celibacy in the French marriage rite. (With apologies to Blackadder.)

Conspiracy theory item of the week:
This is more of a conspiracy than theory, but the documents leaked from the Heartland Institute suggest that they are actively seeking to discredit the science of global warming, over which there has long since ceased to be debate among knowledgeable experts. I thought this might get picked up by Science Friday this week, but alas! Maybe next week, because this is important.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week:

This week’s winner came from Weird Al Yankovic, who I know from going to one of his shows can totally rock a peacock outfit:

Al Yankovic @alyankovic:
Why do they not make urinal PIES? #CakeConspiracy

Please sign the Weird Al at the Superbowl Half-Time Show Petition. I would actually watch the Superbowl again. The NFL needs to make this happen. I don’t do a lot of advocacy, but this is the defining issue of my generation.

That’s it for now. I’m working on a write-up about a pretty nifty little topic. I hope to have it ready in the next week or so.

RJB

Leave a Comment » | 9/11 conspiracy theories, conspiracy theory, critical thinking, fun, mass media, politics, Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by Bob

This Week in Conspiracy (11 February 2012)

February 13, 2012

In the beginning, it was a dark and stormy night, so you can call me Ishmael. Or Al. Doesn’t matter.

Lemme tell you, as I start this post, it’s unpleasant in Atlanta, kids. The wind was pretty impressive this evening, as was, not coincidentally, the amount a certain tree near my apartment can bend without breaking and my sudden desire to purchase renter’s insurance. But not even 2 tons of wood accelerating at 9.8 m/s/s through my roommate’s bedroom would stop me from bringing you the week in conspiracy.

Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that.

So, let’s get some of the goofier stuff out of the way. Apparently, UFOs are dropping “ominous” care packages to earthlings. At least, that’s the takeaway from this BIN post. Oddly, according to BIN’s online polls, fewer people think that the boxes washing up on shore is likely to be true than those who believe the pyramids at Giza are beaming energy to a strange space cloud. I don’t understand you earthlings.
Now, let’s visit the Amateur Geology Corner. This week, conspiracists revisited the Japanese earthquake. First, in a post by some guy on the Internet that will scandalize “Big Geology” into squirting milk from its nose comes the hypothesis that there was no 9.0 earthquake in Japan last year. At the same time, the conspiracy theory-o-sphere reported that the number of large earthquakes in 2000 is 10 times less than those in the last year. If their data is correct, I don’t know if the spike represents better data 10 years on or the fact that most of the increased activity surrounds one of the greatest releases of energy on the planet in recorded memory (which, of course, never happened). Of course, you should never have a sample size of “two non-continuous years.”
The GOP and CPAC yielded their own rather fetid load of donkey’s kidneys this week. Let’s start with Rick Santorum’s assertion that global warming is a “hoax.” The suspiciously French-sounding Wayne LaPierre, President of the NRA, tried to scare the crap out of his supporters (again) by asserting that Obama was out to destroy the Second Amendment. Of course gun control legislation hasn’t been on the President’s radar, so nobody would take that seriously, right?…”Obama Vows to Outlaw Guns if Reelected.” Now, the funniest/scariest thing to come out of the CPAC was Iowa Rep. King’s contention, to use Prairie Weather’s epic headline: “Weird Lightbulbs in Republican Offices on Capitol Hill Were Put There by Communist German Janitors.” I mean, wow.
Lastly, Ron Paul is going to speak to Sovereign Citizens, the scariest sumbitches I know of. In fact they are one of the groups the FBI is most concerned about. I know that Crooks and Liars is biased, so I check up on the conference, and, yep, t hey are out there. I notice that they are hosting Susan Lindauer, who was brought up on charges of espionage for Iraq, but was found to be so delusional as to be incapable of contributing to her own defense. Here’s the indictment. From the trial summary: “Dr. Goldstein, the defense psychiatrist, was somewhat less tentative, dismissing as ‘classic examples of the grandiose variety’ her claims that she was ‘a preeminent government operative who was not sufficiently appreciated’ and had contact with high-level government figures, and was possessed of psychic powers. (Goldstein Report 5/20/06 at 3) He reported also that ‘many of Ms. Lindauer’s delusions are classic examples of the persecutory type.’ (Id.)” Ron Paul will fit right in.
How does the left help goofiness on the right spread?
I’ve been beating up on the right. Here’s one about the left being batty. Monsanto does not allow its employees to eat GMOs.
From Natural News, the worst site in the universe, comes the headline “Arrogant scientists say NY students’ neurological symptoms caused by mass hysteria, not chemicals”. If by “scientists” they mean “neurologists who have examined the girls directly and know what poisoning looks like and decided this ain’t it,” then why “arrogant”? It’s their job to make these decisions. Epidemiologists would likely tell you that if it were poisoning from the environment (like the superfund site hypothesis I’ve heard lately), we wouldn’t expect a sudden spike in twitchy teenagers; instead the teens in that area (and probably not just the girls) would have always been more twitchy. So, yeah, this is an outbreak of contagious mental illness. My favorite mass psychogenic illness outbreak was in 1962 in Africa, when a laughing epidemic broke out. Although the meowing nuns come close. I love my job. Have I mentioned that?
Here’s a video of the entrance to the hollow earth. The guy who posts it says that if it’s real it’s “some crazy shit.” I’d say it continues to be “some crazy shit” if it is not real.
Wow. Veterans Today. Wow.
The ever-classy Alex Jones opines about Whitney Houston’s death. For more expert analysis, see Mark Dice’s video. He’s this week’s worst person ever. (He’s made it on here twice now. Hm.) And not to be left in the playpen all alone, Vigilant Citizen comes out with the shocking–shocking!–revelation that Houston’s death confirms everything that he has ever believed about the music industry. Twit of Ages Mike Adams finds that Houston is a victim of the pharmaceutical industry, not you know, a lifetime of alcoholism and drug dependency. Thanks for waiting for the coroner’s report, you ghoul. Jason Bermas, of 9/11 Truth’s Loose Change: Beyond Thunderdome Director’s Revised Cut Reloaded fame, claims that Fox fingers the pharmaceutical industry as the culprit, though this seems to be a reading comprehension problem. And at the Grammys, Nicki Minaj, who I never heard of until the Super Bowl, was signaling who killed Whitney through the Illuminati-approved medium of Versace clothing. (The update on this one is pretty hilarious.)
Also from Mike Adams’ site, pharmaceutical runoff makes shrimp “commit suicide.”
From Mother Jones, a list of 109 separate things Republicans think Obama has declared war on.
Black Helicopters have landed in Chicago “in Mass,” according to Intel Hub. I bet the priest was annoyed!
Tesla, the Elvis of impossible technology enthusiasts, was MuRdErEd!
Oh, no! Anonymous has gotten hold of dangerous Xtranormal technology! In the “Protocols of the Illuminati” video, the speaker claims that the Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion is the Illuminati’s playbook, the fact that they were debunked as a word for word forgery of a couple of different sources almost immediately notwithstanding. You know, replace “Illuminati” with “lizard people” and you are David Icke. Something tells me that Anonymous’ B-team is putting together the Xtranormal vids.
File this under “forgotten/forbidden knowledge”–Ancient nuclear blasts and flying machines:

I don’t know what this is…but I like the idea…Space Nazis!:

Oh dear. this weekend I’m going to a talk about maafa and abortion, I think. This is this is related to this guy’s interview.
DHS released a study (which they funded, but did not carry out) about terrorism and various forms of extremism over the last few decades which is meant to illuminate characteristics of threats. This was, of course misrepresented in conspiracy theory land: “According To A New DHS Report, If You Love ‘Individual Liberty’ Of If You ‘Believe In Conspiracy Theories’ You Are A Potential Terrorist.” Of course no one of these characteristics alone makes you more likely to carry out a terrorist attack. Only in clusters and with increased intensity do otherwise non-indicative signals correlate with a capacity for violence. You know, like members of the Hutari militia, who wanted to take out the Feds and whose trial starts very soon.
Is the US Government hiding evidence of Egyptian expeditions to the Grand Canyon?
Dude in Missouri: “US public schools are a Klan conspiracy.“
“Exo-scientists” confirmed that humans have alien DNA this week. I looked for the link to the peer-reviewed science journal, but could not find one. Go figure.
Intel Hub reports: “Going Rogue: Giant Wave Damages Cargo Ship, Is Electromagnetic Experimentation To Blame?” Oh, that’s easy. No. You’re welcome.
The Atlantic turned its attention to conspiracy theory this week. The first article is about “Agenda 21,” or as the Atlantic puts it, “Is the UN Using Bike Paths to Achieve World Domination?” Also, ooh! an excerpt from a new book about conspiracy and rightist rage. Want! Want!
Oh, jeez. ABC is going to create a show about an editor of a skeptical magazine who uncovers a conspiracy theory. Page Ben Radford!

That’s it for this week, folks. No conspiracy theory of the week. Oddly, nothing struck me as absurd enough. I hope that doesn’t mean that I am building up a tolerance. I’ve started working on a story about UFOs in the Renaissance. I may try to peddle it to, well, Ben Radford. We’ll see. Take it easy! Also, Eve, who has been a little AWOL lately, is working on something utterly hilarious. I hope that will be up soon.

RJB

12 Comments | conspiracy theory, fun, mass media, politics, Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by Bob

This Week in Conspiracy (5 February 2012)

February 6, 2012

BAM! Finished another article and sent it off tonight. What next? I could watch Puppy Bowl reruns….Aw shucks, let’s do a conspiracy theory round-up!

Orly Taitz gets smacked down–again–this time in Georgia. Here’s the judge’s decision. What was it that Intel Hub said two weeks ago? “POTUS Gets a Failure to Appear – 100 Times Bigger than Watergate,” I think it was. *facepalm* I know I’d get tired of being wrong after a while. If that ever happened. HA!
Lizard-sniffer-outer David Icke is making friends with the Zionist Rothchilds.
Is Barrak Obama really the clone of Akhnaten? (Conspiracy theory of the week contender for sure.)

Remember that tsunami that knocked out the Fukushima reactor? Turns out actually it was Israeli nukes. Or possibly Jews using Stuxnet, the virus that was designed to apparently take out specific hardware in Iran. Not that tsunami that drowned the plant. Jews.
The case for the alien agenda. If we are being controlled by aliens, rest assured that I have already betrayed the human race.
Chris Pinto, who you may remember is scared of Jesuits, says, “[…] conspiracy theories have little or no value unless they glorify God, and demonstrate the fulfillment of Bible prophecy.”
GET OFF MY LAWN, DAGNABBED ILLUMINATI!:

ATS finally clears things up: the ancient aliens were actually time travelers.
Wow. 8 hours of 9/11 with Bill Cooper, as it happened. I mean, I’m not going to sit through all of it, but, it’s a moment in conspiracy theory history.
You know how the gummint has it out to crush unpasteurized milk with FASCISM?! [sic]. There are numerous reasons that food products are regulated, and one of them is Campylobacter, which has made 37 people sick in 4 states. Campyobacter can kill people with compromised immune systems. Or you can embrace the crazy and invoke the Bible in your defense of raw milk, which, of course kills immunodeficient Christians too.
Man, the Jesuits bomb a lot of boats, it seems. This time it is going to be the USS Enterprise and be done to provoke war with Iran.
Girls sucked kicking and screaming into alternate universe.
Alex Jones’s site reports that “Big Evidence” forms a lobby group to keep atl med from being taught in universities. Good.
What do Warren Buffet, Dakota Fanning and Lady Gaga have in common?
On the heels of last week’s announcement that conspiracy theorists can embrace multiple, mutually exclusive conspiracy scenarios at once come three different JFK conspiracy theories at the Intel Hub. Was it LBJ? Was it the monkey-polio-cancer-virus people? Was it…some guy’s dad? It doesn’t matter, as long as it’s not the official story.
An evangelist says that this is the year that endtimes prophecy will be fulfilled. It sounds like the type of thing a “Clontz” would write.
Joe and Rosie, talking about things they don’t understand.
The FDA is mercilessly regulating medical treatments. Or as Blacklisted News and the Alliance for Natural Health report it: “FDA’s New Claim: Your Body is a Drug and We Have the Authority to Regulate it!“
Who is stopping Ron Paul from winning. I know, I thought it was Ron Paul and his crazy ideas, but apparently it is the Zionists.
Fluoride, the weirdest, most durable conspiracy theory, still weird, seems enduringly durable.
Amy Winehouse’s coroner resigns; is news for some reason.
Salon wonders if we need a sort of Ministry of Truth for the Internet to counter brain-and society- damaging misinformation like anti-vax and climate change denialism. I will happily be Big Brother.
Tapes of conversations between Air Force One and Washington on date of Kennedy’s assassination released.
Why does the government want you to keep you from eating horse meat? Also, why has the ban on horse meat been lifted (as of Nov. 2011)? EXPLAIN THAT!
Mysterious Crop Circle Code Finally Cracked: “Be Sure to Drink Your Ovaltine.” There was another post related to reading crop circles titled, “Did Carl Sagan know something?” To which the answers is, yes, he knew a lot of things, I think you’ll find.
Some of Ron Paul’s supporters in Georgia have started a new MeetUp, but all I see is that Paul is allowing that baby to desecrate an American flag.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: Ron Paul Edition

First, an irony of epic proportions. It turns out Ron Paul’s biggest donor is a Bilderberger.

Also, and I know I posted this earlier, but I love, freaking LOVE, this video at the Georgia Guidestones by a Ron Paul supporter/conspiracy theorist. Make sure you watch until after the wind dies down, because, wow, there is some profound linguistic analysis.

Conspiracy is so much fun!

Anyway, I have a couple of reviews in the pipeline, so stay tuned. Keep it classy, Internet!

RJB

5 Comments | 9/11 conspiracy theories, conspiracy theory, critical thinking, history, mass media, politics, psychology, Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by Bob

This YouTube video is why we must save the Internet

January 30, 2012

I put up the conspiracy theory round-up last night, and this only arrived last night. It will doubtlessly be in the running for the conspiracy theory of the week. It’s really this guy’s language skills that knock me off my feet, hold me down, and beat me mercilessly:

RJB

2 Comments | conspiracy theory, mass media, politics | Permalink
Posted by Bob

This Week in Conspiracy (28 January 2012)

January 29, 2012

Amazingly, there were no new conspiracy theories this week. Everyone just kind of got it together and things ended up being pretty groovy. OH WHO AM I KIDDING?! I’VE BEEN SENTENCED TO LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE!!!

At any rate, I picked up Conspiracy Rising by Martha F. Lee. I’ll likely review it here in a few days. It’s one of my first few ebooks. I may review the ebook experience while I’m at it, since I have been a holdout for a long time.

Nanoparticles? At Fukushima? Oh no! Not NANO! Nano’s the conspiracy theorist’s flubber! Sure, there haven’t been any deaths from the meltdown at Fukushima, that doesn’t mean you can’t scare your readers. Unethical, InfoHub. Would you at least apologize when you are wrong? Reputable news outlets do that when they screw up so epically.
A new study finds that some conspiracy theorists are capable of believing two incompatible conspiracy theories at once. We are going to have to revise the definition of “genius,” clearly.
Well, a graduate student at Yale is having a bit of a protracted freakout. She was relieved of her teaching duties when she unrolled a mother of a conspiracy theory on her students. It’s out there.
Now, I’m not calling Above Top Secret reputable, mind you, but a mod did go out of his/her way to correct misinformation a contributor released. The tweet I received read:

Judge Has Ruled, Secretary Of State Agrees, Obama Off Of Ballot In Georgia!!!!!! (69 flags) dlvr.it/17Ttp

A moment’s consideration reveals that since this is not front page news all over the country it is unlikely to be true. The mod links to the AJC, which is darned respectable. Here’s their take.

Sometimes I wish I could make money by crusading against boogeymen like Alex Jones does. Of course, if it means that I would have to speak in a civil tone to Mayer Eisenstein, it’s can’t possibly be worth it. Odd that Jones does not mention the fact that Eisenstein was on the losing end of one of the largest infant death malpractice suits in history–$30 million. I think that any doctor who suggests there is a link between autism and vaccines should have their medical license revoked for incompetence. (I’m looking at you, Mayer.)
Of course, Alex Jones has discovered, eek, more “FEMA rendition camps.” The description of this facility is the same one I got from someone fretting about the murals in the Denver International Airport:

The photos and an interview with an eyewitness who described the facility and its inward facing barbed wire fence and one-way turnstiles add more compelling evidence to the indisputable fact that FEMA operates as a modern version of the Gestapo.

Protip: nothing is indisputable. Also, I thought they were preparing stadiums in L.A. for rendition. It’s interesting, but Rex84, the source of this latter theory, first appeared, if I remember correctly, in the Soviet paper Pravda. Not exactly an unbiased source, given the times.
Of course, it is the Intel Hub. They ran a headline about the President not showing in a Georgia courtroom to answer idiot questions from birther and dentist Orly Taitz, “POTUS Gets a Failure to Appear – 100 Times Bigger than Watergate.” So, they don’t really have that whole perspective thing down yet. So it goes.
Bob Tuskin, oh, man, made an ass of himself at Rudy Giuliani’s appearance in Gainesville. I met him at the Richard Gage event in Altanta back in the day. The local Truth community filmed my interview with him. (The comments are, as always, precious and dear to my heart.) Bob, the crowd was not laughing at Building 7, but at you. Seriously, walk away from this silliness while you are still young.
ATS contributor uploads photo of a werewolf, ATS readers get hilarious. (No werewolves were harmed in the writing of this post. Or the picture in question.)
Does the Fed “print money”, like so many conspiracy theorists claim? Yahoo! finance tries to clarify what the Fed does and does not do.
And the psychogenic illness spreading among teens at a New York school continues. Now, so help me, Erin Brokovich gets involved.
Brian Dunning hops out of the Hot Tub of Justice just long enough to talk about a possible explanation for perceiving non-existent malevolent agency everywhere as a part of his InFact video series.
Dr. Rachie is a conspiracy-debunking machine, but not a robot:

Rand Paul was stopped at an airport gate this week but refused a pat-down. That guy holding up the line? A Senator. I told the TSA workers at the Atlanta airport this week that I felt safer knowing that Rand Paul was not on my flight. One worker was positively distraught by the coverage they got in the press, noting that when they get charged by the press for “confiscating 100s of thousands of dollars a year” when passengers with short attention spans have actually left their change in the little trays.
There was a little buzz this week about military equipment being moved in and around the Mexican border. Eric Jon Phelps thinks it may be “used for America’s future Sino-Soviet-Muslim-Mexican invasion.” I didn’t even know we were going to have one. Dr. Roth (if I’m reading her ‘about the author’ right, she has a Ph.D. in Tae Kwan Do) thinks the shipment is to impose martial law.
ALRIIIIGHT! ZOMBIE RAGE VIRUS!
I have wondered about this, whether 9/11 Truther would go on the record suggesting that the commander of the fire department in NYC was complicit in the catastrophe. And, yes, they go that low. Put aside the fact that fire departments have neither the training, equipment, nor authorization to tear down a building, and it i still just a crummy thing to suggest. However, if Shepard Ambellas ever decides to attend be in the same room with Thomas von Essen, I would pay cash money to be there. You’ll notice that this reporter’s villain is indistinguishable from Icke’s reptilians.
Sigh. Someone thinks we’re setting up an “Iranian Pearl Harbor.”
Why doesn’t Santorum correct this woman who says Obama is a Muslim? What a barf.
David Aaronovich interviewed about conspiracy theories.
More about Lady Gaga “bathing in blood,” from the WhoForted blog.
“Whistleblower: Monsanto Wants to Kill The Bees To Make Way For Its Super-Bee“
Here’s Eve’s contribution to the week in conspiracy.
A writer at the Washington Times finds herself mentioned in a conspiracy theory and is not impressed.
HAARP can not only cause earthquakes, but it makes the skies snore.
Ron Paul’s newsletter entertained the idea that Oklahoma City was an inside job.
Slate asks if Google should tweak its algorithm to knock down anti-vaccine conspiracy theories.
Ooh! PalMD made it on my list this week! Are liberals or conservatives more likely to reject science? Yes.
I’m not necessarily on board with the politics of the Center for Consumer Freedom, but they do have some humdingers from Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.: “[hog producers] “a greater threat to the United States and democracy than bin Laden’s terrorist network.” Kennedy, you may remember, published a hysterical, utterly uninformed article about vaccines in Rolling Stone that was basically corrected out of existence point by point after the public pointed out his factual errors.
Why does NASA keep the blurry, unclear photographic evidence of aliens patrolling the solar system under wraps? Surely it’s not out of fear that those not trained to examine it would blow it way out of proportion!
Here’s a sort of new age twist on the Matrix metaphor of conspiracy.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week:

I easily could have picked “Extraterrestrial War of the 1930’s reveals Jewish holocaust true masterminds,” but I didn’t. I picked the conspiracy theory I’m calling: “You got the right one–babies!” Mike Adams over at Natural News accuses Pepsi of using aborted fetuses in taste tests. The story does not originate with Adams, who I can’t remember ever being right about anything, but it prompted an Oklahoma state senator to introduce anti-Soylent Green legislation. This guy also happens to be a birther. My favorite headline: “Fun-Hating Legislator Proposes Ban on Eating Aborted Human Fetuses.” Forbes discusses the fake controversy.

Exopolitics let me down this week, I have to day. Oh, well. I’m sure there will be more to it.

10 Comments | conspiracy theory, history, mass media, politics, Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by Bob

This Week in Conspiracy (22 Jan 2012)

January 22, 2012

…And we’re back. I am writing this at a Whole Foods, where I am surrounded by hippies, feeling a little like Cartman.

But not even wafting clouds of caustic patchouli could keep me from rounding up the worst of the web! I’m going to have to keep this one short, however, as I am gearing up for a pretty big job interview. This is the one, people.

Ah, it’s the end of the world. Again. This time, it’s skyquakes, and should my spell check ever accept that as a word, I shall promptly jump into a canyon. They are caused, sez this dude, by a “destabilizing core,” whatever that is. He might as well say it is caused by trolls. Visit that link only if you want to experience an intricate vacuity.
From the Most Irritating Man in the World comes, “Nicola Tesla–Superhero!” Stay goofy, my friends.
Orly Taitz’s subpoena of Obama not summarily thrown out of court, for once. The best coverage begins:

Orly Taitz won a court motion in Georgia this week and, after consulting my ass and the sky, monkeys are not flying out of my butt and pigs still cannot fly.

From a horrid little site comes, “Did the Jews Kill General Patton?” They somehow, against all odds, managed to fail to arrive at “No.”
Big week for Patton, it seems. He was also killed by the OSS (precursor to CIA).
OK, point me to the passage in the Bible that mentions Verichip.
Newt decides that, what, his wife conspiring with the gay liberal media to publicize his position on family values?
Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is how NPR gathers news too:

AboveTopSecret @AboveTopSecret 2m Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
Who killed Iran’s nuclear scientist? CIA, Mossed, Britain, Iran? Let
me know RT @ATSRecapBryan – ow.ly/8A37y

NASA: “Not all triangles are UFOs.”
The conspiracy to keep Ron Paul from ever winning anything at the national level continues in South Carolina.
Baby dies of disease she was probably not vaccinated against. BLAME THE VACCINES! There are lots of causes of meningitis, and she was vaccinated against the bacterium, Haemophilus influenzae, which used to be the prime cause. But there are other bacteria that cause meningitis, like, Streptococcus pneumoniae, which now causes most cases of bacterial meningitis. This poor girl’s first diagnosis was “slight chest infection.” By the way, take a gander at this woman’s CV. Her warped view of vaccines has led her to write a book suggesting that baby-shaking baby killers are falsely accused. Wow.
Grr.
Oh no! The Illuminati are invading Eastern European pop music! Is nothing too irrelevant?!?
Shaq reveals he is a Mason:

The Phobos-Grunt Mars probe gets stuck in low-earth orbit, falls back into the atmosphere, and Russia blames a US radar station?
Bob Tuskin, whose card I have around here somewhere, makes a classic appeal to false authority with “Dr. King family’s civil trial verdict: US government assassinated Martin.”
Butt scanners.
Even when Mike Adams reaches the right conclusion, his reasoning is completely wrong.
Economic conspiracy theories are dull, but the ones that involve the Euro are moreso. YOU ARE A BORING CURRENCY, EURO! ACCEPT IT!
I know that China has a history of xenophobia, but did they really need to go to war with the space aliens? (I was trying to think of a “Great Dome of China” joke, but it just wasn’t happening.)
The advanced civilizations occupying the hollow earth are the greatest secret ever kept!
Uh-oh! Another flare up of that “McGuire Fire.” I think I have a multi-resistant strain. “Instead of democracy, we will be ruled by a secular humanist or occult elite that are building up a new world order, at lightning speed all around us.” Secular/occult/whatever!

Conspiracy Theory of the Week:

You almost won again again, Exopolitics.com, with “Evidence shows 9/11 false flag operation may have been a hyperdimensional ET event,” but this week’s prize goes to a family that should not have access to video equipment. Or the Internet. Or vinegar:

That’s all for now. I’m now off to have every item of clothing I own pressed and starched.

RJB

4 Comments | 9/11 conspiracy theories, conspiracy theory, history, humanities, mass media, politics, Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by Bob

This Week in Conspiracy (15 Jan 2012)

January 17, 2012

Sorry I’ve been quiet lately, but I’ve been out and about in a big way. Since last time I posted, I have been to the Pacific Northwest, where I had the pleasure of hanging out with many of the Seattle Skeptics. I went birding on Mt. Rainier (foolish me) and interviewed people who were a little scared of the murals at the Denver International Airport. Hopefully that will become a Skeptical Inquirer article or post.

Unfortunately, I started this post in the lobby of my hotel, and lost a huge amount of work when I closed my laptop. Grr. But technical glitches will not stop me from bringing you the week in the weird-o-sphere.

Get Joe Nickell on the phone! There’s a WWII diary that needs authentication! It may alter what we think happened to Glenn Miller.
Jesse Ventura got punched out by an actual SEAL! I don’t advocate violence, but give that guy a medal!
An interview with a member of, and this is a band name, Skyfucker. This is the evidence that Vigilant Citizen doesn’t want you to see!
Take anything printed in the Daily Mail with a grain of … nay, a salt-lick. But the story of David Icke’s collapsing marriage has to be included this week.
A story out of England, possibly misleadingly reported: “Dead Body Found On Royal Front Lawn Raises Questions About Personal Lives Of The Elite.” The author makes a point of tying the Royal Family to “the historical Count Dracula.” (Ugh.)
So, war is in the air, and Iran is going around torpedoing luxury liners.
A mystery illness strikes a bunch of girls in New York, and the conspiracy folks cry, “HPV vaccine!” Sometimes ignorance is obscene.
At the IntelHub, Peter Kirby speculates about the chemtrail business. He can’t even get through the first paragraph without totally messing up the chain of command:

The spraying itself is carried out by the U.S. military; probably the Air Force. The orders mostly come from Wall Street. The military man or men in charge of the operation take orders from an intelligence agency.

Again with the IntelHub! They also picked up an interview with Arizona State Senator Karen Johnson, who was in the 2010 trouser truffle of a documentary, “What In the World Are They Spraying?” (It was horrid. I was at the world premier.)
On New Year’s Eve, Obama crowned himself. Or possibly he ate Parquet spread.
Eisenhower golfed with aliens. Well, the video doesn’t say that, but Eisenhower liked to golf, so that’s probably how the encounter played out. Also, I saw a document once, so trust me. (See how stupid that sounds, guys?)
Was Tesla an ancient Egyptian? Well, if he was a time traveler from the future, why not?
The Nazi connection to the JFK assassination. Be one of the first people to see this video! Nobody else has bothered!
This headline is so tantalizingly incomplete. Every way I try to follow up on this one I am blocked. But it leaves so many questions unanswered. Questions that it just raised!
I loved the headline, “Man Trapped In Time Vortex Appears In The Future,” because, well, how would we know?
Just too late for Christmas! Bohemian Grove action figures!
From Doubtful Newsblog, the Iranian-alien technology that they are not telling you about. I mean, Doubtful Newsblog is, but nobody else.
Oh man, do we need a conspiracy theory about Jay-Z and Beyonce’s baby’s name? Apparently someone does.
A new conspiracy theory book! Ooh! Ooh! Must have! Conspiracy Rising, by Martha Lee. Yayayay!
Finally, someone else talking about the Jesuits!
FederalJack releases the strikingly accurately titled “Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Swine Flu Deception.”
When is the gummint gonna open those FEMA camps? They’ve been sitting on this for 30 years. They haven’t put a single person away, so why would they possibly be building more?
Luke Rudkowski continues to be at the center of an epic delusion. Very embarrassing.
Weird, self-perpetuating groups, like clusters of conspiracy theorists, often have their own authorities. Here’s a write up about the phenomenon in the NYT as applied to evangelicals.
Outrageous! IntelHub says that a movie where Gwyneth Paltrow dies horribly is a bad movie! Shame, shame!
Will Diebold voting machines cheat Ron Paul out of third…NO SECOND PLACE FINISH (hell, why not just say first?) in N.H.?
The prize for most unlikely headline of the week goes to exopolitics for: “Expert: Prince William is the Antichrist, Future King of One World Government.” I give this award not because of anything to do with William, but because how do you become an expert in that fact?

Conspiracy Theory of the Week:

No contest. It was tweeted by Jason Brown, @drunkenmadman:

INVISIBLE HIGHLY-TRAINED ATTACK HAMSTERS WITH DIAMOND-TIPPED FALSE TEETH DID 9/11!!

That was at least as fun as “Terrified Woman From Other Universe Wakes Up Here.”

No wait. There is a new winner. It is this. She’s really sick, but the tales she tells (and the fact that she felt she needed to tell it in her bathroom wearing a bathing suit) freaking fascinate me. I mean…wow. Warning: this is so obscene your ears might burst in a desperate attempt to protect your sanity, but it won’t help. The sheer quantities of Jesuit bodily fluids. Be advised, do not watch this:

And that’s it. I’ll see you next week. I really hope. More traveling as the job situation gets serious. I have an interview in about two weeks and a talk to prepare to give to that department. I’m talking about…conspiracy theories (among other things). Go figure.

RJB

8 Comments | conspiracy theory, Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by Bob

The Last Two Weeks or So In Conspiracy (31 Dec 2011)

December 31, 2011

Yeah, I’ve been out of contact recently, traveling the country, racking up foursquare points (why, I’m not sure), and learning the ways of the iPad. Things have settled back down, and I can take a little time to bring everyone up to speed on the wide, wide world of weird.

In the next few days, I’ll be heading out to Seattle to interview for a job in Mississippi (yeah, it’s easier if you just don’t think about it). I have seized upon the opportunity to make sure that I have a long layover at the Denver International Airport, which is where the bigwigs who are really in charge are going to wait out the end of the world. Or detain gun owners. Or transfer planes. Nobody is too sure about that. Anyway, I’m there. I’ve been trying to contact the artist whose murals have come under suspicion most goofy so that I could meet and interview him during my 4 hours at DIA, but given the weird attention his work has received, he’s hard to get in touch with, as you might imagine. (If anyone has any ideas…the email addy on his website is obsolete.)

Yes, Ron Paul is a goofball, but guilt by association is not the way to sink his absurd campaign against reality.
Who’d have thunk that the KKK considered themselves to be “Values Voters”? Not Ron Paul, apparently. (The image everyone is talking about is apparently not faked. I would say that the fact that Paul’s photo was taken with a Klansman does not reflect on Paul. Politicians have their pictures taken with lots of people, and when you are pressing the flesh you don’t get to select the people you pose with. I’m more concerned that he appeared at something billed as a Values Voters event.)
Have you ever noticed that the only reason totally f-ing insane people don’t get elected to high office is because of a conspiracy? It’s almost diagnostic, it is.
Of course, Ron Paul is not a racist. Just take it from FederalJack’s Black Friends. Not from Paul himself. (Let’s face it, even Ron Paul does not take it from Ron Paul.) Or, and Shatner-help-me I’m linking to the Weekly Standard, the people who worked with Paul: “Ex-Aide Says Ron Paul Is a 9/11 Truther & Isolationist Who Thinks U.S. Shouldn’t Have Fought Hitler.” But at least the John Birch Society likes and quotes Paul:

The Atlantic gives extended coverage to the strangeness that is Ron Paul in the context of American conspiracism.
I dare you to out-Christian this guy. (Also, if you contract the “McGuire Fire” he encourages in his logo, get a shot of penicillin and it should clear right up.)
Do you want to see the most original Iowa Caucus coverage? “Iowan Republican Voters Subconsciously Sense Gingrich’s Transhuman Identity“
Get ready for MexiCanadAmerica!
This headline is a total trainwreck: “Whitley Streiber Interviews Graham Hancock on Coast to Coast AM.”
Aliens are invading the solar system using the evil power of cylinders! Mercury Cloaking Ship Kerfuffle II, mayhap?
Blah blah. Mossad did 9/11. Blah blah.
I’m looking for the phrase “raw milk” in the Constitution but can’t seem to find it.
Alex Jones. Eugenics. YouTube. ‘Nuff said.
It really wouldn’t be a week in conspiracy without a mention of Vigilant Citizen, who interprets a Lady Gaga video as representing, what else, MiNd CoNtRoL!
I feel sort of bad for the Eisenhower family. Laura, who says she was recruited for a Mars mission, is now saying that “unity consciousness will collapse military-industrial complex.” I’m not sure she knows what any of those words means. Also, the following Exopolitics headline should be read in the voice of Hubert Farnsworth: “GOOD NEWS! Universe singularity now emanating pre-wave energy for ‘enlightened unity consciousness’“
I don’t remember if I wrote about this one, but it’s interesting enough to mention again. The Obamas had a UFO on their Christmas card this year. What are they trying to tell us? (Humorous answers are encouraged in the comments below. Or humourous if you hail from foreign lands.)
1,000,000 people visit the 9/11 memorial. (I was one of them.) Truthers leave comments.
Mike Adams claims that our crops are going to be bombed with agent orange.
Here’s a funny one: Obama uses Air Force One to fetch his dog from Hawaii for a photo-op. Politico mentions an excellent historical precedent: “It’s worth noting that this bears eerie resemblance to an accusation hurled at Franklin D. Roosevelt: that a military ship was dispatched to rescue his Scottish terrier from an Alaskan island at a cost of millions of dollars to taxpayers.” Lastly, they have a rockin’ quote from FDR: “These Republican leaders have not been content with attacks on me, or my wife, or on my sons. No, not content with that, they now include my little dog, Fala.” Heheh.
The year in protecting the purity of America’s bodily fluids, according to Natural News:

Mike Adams, Health Stranger

David Frum runs an article about Ron Paul’s use of racism as a fundraiser/strategy in the past, and he gets the following feedback:

davidfrum (@davidfrum)
12/26/11 1:08 PM
“CNN is run by Jews.” From the comments on my CNN.com Ron Paul column … bit.ly/soURcG

Well played, redneck. Well played. I’m willing to bet that you read Veterans Today, which was also horrible this week.

Victoria Jackson has jumped the stupid shark. Again. She may in fact be mentally ill at this point, but I can’t say that she’s not just hateful. She says talk show hosts were briefed for 6 hours by the FBI about Islamic extremism in America.
Also, this week in SNL conspiracy theories, a writer on the Wayne’s World movie killed himself…or did he?!?!?!?
Speaking of Wayne’s World, Wayne “the French peter” LaPierre (teehee) of the NRA has charged the Obama Administration with secretly planning the destruction of the Second Amendment.
Mike Adams: “Discover The Doomsday Seed Vault’s Secrets.”

SEEDS?!?!?!?!?!

Oklahoma City–false flag operation? Why not?
If this article is correct, and we have undone the Declaration of Independence, does that mean that we are now subjects of the Crown again?
Well, here’s the best book review of all time, remarks on The Dulce Wars: Underground Alien Bases and the Battle for Planet Earth penned by a veritable Dr. Johnson:

I enjoyed this book, because of some of the insider information that he brings out. I liked the insights into the invisible world, for example, how certain aliens are working with Satan the Devil, how Satan looks like a reptilian, including his hosts.

Kids, stay in school or you will end up posting about UFOs as mind-control on the Internet.
Congress prays to Lucifer. Heheh.
Kenneth Feder recently re-sunk Atlantis on the National Geographic Channel. It was quite excellent of the producers to give him the final word. I’ll be reviewing one of his books on this site soon. NatGeo, I like you so much more than the History Channel.
I have no idea what to make of this, you know, except fun: “History of Islam: Identical Doctrines and Deeds of Satan’s Roman Jesuit Papacy.”
This one goes out to Rebecca Watson: the Skyrim Conspiracy.
If truth is treason, as their website says, then these guys are patriots.
The Birthers have yet another lawsuit thrown out of court. I think that litigants should be “thrown out of court” literally when this happens. Give that badass bailiff on Judge Judy something entertaining to do besides glower.
The optimistic folks at Gulag Bound are fretting over the deployment of acoustic triangulation devices (or as they call them, “sniper detectors”) in the heartland. FederalJack linked to this story and I really enjoyed his novelty tags.
George Harrison’s will exposes the truth about Paul McCartney’s death.
Oh noes! Fukishima radiation is eating American babies! Omnomnomnom. Oh, IntelHub, I hope you remain this enthusiastic and youthful for years to come.
You can keep your stinkin’ double helix DNA. I’m totally rockin’ the 12-strand human DNA, baby!
When the machines take over, people will become pets. My pets have it pretty good, actually. So, uh, rub my belly, Terminator!
Finally, someone has figured out why the word “pseudonym” is misspelled at the Georgia Guidestones. It is misspelled for anagrammatical reasons. Sure, the anagram makes no sense, but that’s of secondary importance.
Take a bite out of the American Fascist Sandwich. And as a condiment on the fascist sandwich, may I suggest the US Army is now openly advertising for FEMA camp guards?
America is a fascist state. And by fascist, they mean communist, and by communist they mean fascist. Get it? Neither do they.
There’s a new book coming out on the prestigious Internet. It’s a “thriller” called Vaccine Nation. The first chapter is up for your perusal and constructive criticism. I’m rooting for vaccines, personally.
NASA put the hurt on some 2012 doomsday theories.
IntelHub says the stage is set for false flag nuclear terrorism. When it doesn’t happen, will they apologize for scaring the sh*t out of their readers?
The truth is out there. No really! Out there on Main Street!
Hugo Chavez says that the US gave him cancer. Sharon Hill blogged this one for Skeptic.com.

Conspiracy theories of the last few weeks:

Nobody works harder at being weird than Exopolitics.com. Really. Take this headline: “Andromeda Council: Comet 17P Holmes as prelude to 4th dimensional Earth.” What not convinced? What about this quote:

“And, therefore planet Earth, as a female cosmic body with its newer, progressively greater level of 4th dimensional energy emanating from her – from Earth’s core – she is finally ready to be ‘fertilized’, and is attracting, pulling, drawing to her… the transformative cosmic 4th dimensional vibratory ‘male’ energy from the new crystal blue star (that was comet Holmes).”

Told you.

Dishonorable mention:

IntelHub gives exopolitics a run for its money, though, and this one blew me away with the goof. OK. Try to keep up. The Intel Hub, whose logo appropriately suggests something stinks over there, sez: “Chemtrail-like Substance Could Be Used in Blue Beam Type Operation.” Blue Beam is a continuation of the Philadelphia (boat teleportation) and Montauk (dead raccoons) Projects. Blue Beam is designed, according to this guy on the Internet, “to create a world-wide light show with accompanying electronically driven wave patterns.” Also, WTF does that even mean? Anyway, the pulse of energy is supposed to make people think that God is talking to them. Totally f-in’ superfluous, since people already think that God is talking to them! This is really an elaborate one that assumes earthquake-making, archaeological forgeries, telepathy, messiah-arriving, faked one-world religion, and staged UFO invasions. But this is the real problem: the IntelHub is setting itself up to believe this unfathomably vast pile of whale poop: “The Intel Hub has also received similar reports from various locations in the CONUS (Continental United States) and is requesting additional information/sightings to be sent to us (tips@theintelhub.com).” No matter how much contradictory information can be brought to bear on the questions raised by the Blue Beam video (like all of physics, meteorology, aerospace and electrical engineering, and psychology), they are completely and explicitly uninterested in that evidence. So, if, for instance, an airline pilot wrote in saying, “Hey, I need to take into account all the mass on my airplane to calculate how much fuel I have, including the ‘magic fairy chemtrail dust,’ so it’s impossible that I would be able to spray and not know about it. Now tell me I’m poisoning people to my face, suckafoo,” Intelhub will hear none of it. Here’s a tip: Grow. Up.

Week’s Best Headline:

Not strictly related to conspiracy theory in…any way I can think of, but this headline needs to be read aloud to orphans every Christmas: “Victoria’s Secret: Busted for Undies With an Ugly Past”.

Thanks for an excellent year, folks! We had over 100,000 hits, many of which were not my mother. We’ll see you on the other side of the New Year!

RJB

4 Comments | conspiracy theory, critical thinking, mass media, politics, psychology, Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by Bob

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This YouTube video is why we must save the Internet

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