Georgia seems to have survived yet another assault of tornados sent to us by HAARP, probably to silence the beacon of reason that is this website. Of course, now that Skeptical Humanities is an international affair, it will be harder to take us down. Muahahaha!
So, this is the Week in Conspiracy, my take on the week in weak. And this week was not weak in terms of its weakness. It was powerful weak.
The biggest story on the scaredy-sphere this week was the death of right-winger and all around truly horrid person Andrew Breitbart, which I imagine was a tragedy for someone, somewhere. Probably someone like Rush Limbaugh. For those of you who aren’t familiar with him, you’re lucky, but he would fake stories about supposed devious doings on the left, which, for some reason, the media took seriously. Think of the Shirley Sherrod affair a few years back. Breitbart.
Conspiracy theories appeared almost instantaneously. Alex Jones wondered if the Obama crime machine was responsible for the death. He goes so far as to wonder if there is a Stalinist purge of Administration critics in the works. Truth Excavator wonders:
“Was Breitbart becoming too big of a problem, and needed to be taken out, mafia-style? This is only speculation at this point. But 43 is too young for someone to die of natural causes, so let the conspiracy theories fly and we’ll see where the truth lands.”
People die of natural causes at young ages all the time. Insofar as Breitbart being a big problem, Obama is head and shoulders above whatever goofball the Republicans put up against him in November. The going theory among the less than scrupulous is that Breitbart was going to release college video footage of Obama. Why risk killing someone? As for the question, “Cui bono?” which is being asked all over the conspirasphere, clearly the conspiracy theorists have benefited and are therefor the most likely killers of Andrew Breitbart. Of course Breitbart predicted something would happen on the first of March. Did the CIA use a “heart attack gun” on Breitbart? A poison dart? Perhaps the autopsy will get to the truth. The best part of this story was a comment thread following Gawker’s coverage about the conspiracy theories that exploded on Twitter after Breitbart’s death was announced.
- Osama bin Laden’s corpse secretly brought to the USA, For what possible reason, I have no idea. Cloning, I betcha.
- I feel sorry for the Fed chairman. How did that happen? Ron Paul.
- Illinois congressman Art Jones apparently thinks that the Holocaust never happened.
- Go on vacation with David Icke! To Peru! For some reason!
- Mike Adams announces hunger strike. ….What? Then what the heck is a Declaration of Food Independence? Seriously, the anti-raw milk conspiracy theory is so strange. It only makes sense if the germ theory of disease is wrong. Seems Vernon Hershberger is on trial for breaking all sorts of FDA rules. He faces three years in jail for endangering his customers without a license.
- US loses submarine to UFO attack.
- Sheriff costume owner Joe Arpaio decides that Obama’s Birth Certificate is a forgery. Can anyone ever trust him to gather evidence?
- Last night, someone at VDS turned me on to John Todd’s anti-Illuminati crusade from the ’70s. He was a “former Illuminati witch and errand boy.” Jack Chick seems to have cribbed a bunch of Todd’s techniques and beliefs.
- Is the government keeping a secret database of vaccine-damaged children? Well, if by “secret” you mean “public,” by vaccine-damaged you mean “reported potential adverse events” and by “children” you mean “anyone noticed by any doctor ever,” then, well, sure! Of course, VAERS can’t show a causal relationship between vaccines and any disease.
- Killer asteroid headed straaaaaaaaa…..YAAAAWN!..t for earth. Again. The first problem is that the picture they selected is of a comet. It also has a Torino scale rating of 1. We’re fine.
- Japanese scientists invents the most irritating weapon ever. It plays back your voice to you a few milliseconds later, shutting you up.
- Can you imagine worse luck? You fly 25,000 light-years, get a seagull through your windscreen, and crash your flying saucer. You get out and you are surrounded by Nazis.
- A judge quashes Virginia AG’s request for climate scientist’s emails. He’s trying to show that climate science is a fraud. It looks like intimidation to me.
- Wyoming legislature narrowly defeats bill to prepare for the apocalypse.
- Chemtrials confirmed! By unnamed source! On Internet!
- An interesting one from the horse-race was apparently pushed by Santorum, that Mitt Romney and Ron Paul had come to a deal so that Rand Paul would be the Romney VP running-mate. This, of course, makes Paul seem like a bigger threat than anyone really thinks he is. It also led Paul to state, without milk spurting out of his nose or anything, that “Some people are much more into conspiracies than others.”
- A music video by “UFO truth-seeker Gary McKinnon.” Be prepared for some truly overwhelming closeups.
- PBS gets a big raspberry from me this week, as they have been showing a AE911 short recently. (Check out the money that’s flowing in from the faithful on the website!) By the way, if you want to know why PBS decided to run this tripe, send a message to the ombudsman, Michael Getler. I actually called the station this originated from way back in the day to see, you know, what the hell? The programming director for the outfit in Colorado was unmoved by my eloquence.
- I’m fairly annoyed with NPR’s audience this week, or at least the members who posted on the news that a lawsuit brought against Monsanto by organic farmers had been dismissed, because a good number of those people jumped to the conclusion that the judge had been bought.
- Is there an alien particle accelerator on Iapetus? Probably not. Also addressed in the Astronomy meetup in the preceding link is speculation that the discovery of faster-than-light neutrinos was caused by hardware errors will end up attributed to a cover up. Oh, how right you guys were!
- Was 9/11 predicted by random number generators? Uhhh….
- Yes, Santorum, you figured us out. “Universities are indoctrination centers.”
- A brief, if not always correctly spelled, primer on conspiracy theory terminology.
- Was there a plot to kill Putin? Probably not, think Russians.
- From our strange friends to the North: “World War III and Interdimensional Aliens: Great Pyramids linked to 2012 agenda“
Conspiracy Theory of the Week
I can imagine it now–an adviser to Ron Paul shuffles up to the candidate and whispers: “Dr. Paul, why don’t you stand here in front of this big freaking Confederate flag and bitch about how the Civil War deprived white people of rights…OH, F*CK I WAS JOKING!”