OBL-la-di OBL-la-da…Life goes on…

May 6, 2011

It’s day three of the Osama bin Laden conspiracy theory watch here at Skeptical Humanities. It really has drowned out all other conspiracies this week, and it seems to have reawakened widespread interest in older theories regarding 9/11.

A number of insignificant tidbits have changed with respect to what happened in the Pakistani compound, none of which directly impacts the important part of the story, that OBL was killed. Nonetheless, suspicious types have claimed that this is “unraveling.” Global Research, a website I don’t understand, has
seized on this, and looks to Obama’s “atrocity” at Ground Zero (I don’t think they know what that word means) as, well, I’ll let them say it:

To add a grotesque and sickening final insult, the swaggering Barack Obama will grandstand atNew York’s Ground Zero, in a staged celebration of a fictional murder, on the hallowed ground where thousands of people actually died at the hands of theUSgovernment and its covert operatives.

Obama even invited George W. Bush to share his “victory lap”.

This act of exploitation will dispel all illusions about the criminal nature of this liar who has done Bush/Cheney one better by stooping even lower into the depths of depravity.

Personally, I liked the flight suit that Obama was wearing during the visit.

Ironically, Global Research thinks that Wag the Dog was a documentary.

Alex Jones’s little friend, who we’ll call Watson, says that the announcement from al Qaida that OBL is KIA comes from a “government contractor” who is a little Jew-ish (look for the delightful dragging of Jews into the story). However, Watson does not seem to recognize that the SITE Institute is not the original source, and that if they want to go to the jihadi websites that SITE monitors, they will find the statement themselves.

Also in the news is a document that a radical American cleric who is currently on the kill or capture list visited the Pentagon within 6 months of the 9/11 attacks. Notice how he was not on the kill or capture list at the time he visited. Of course if the 9/11 hijackers did not actually hijack anything, why is it important enough for Watson to mention that this guy preached to them?

In news abroad, a Cambridge poll finds that 2/3 of Pakistanis think that the man who was killed was not OBL.

If there was a raid and intelligence was seized, one would expect that information about potential attacks would be found and authorities alerted, right? I mean, I’d hope so. Nonetheless, Prison Planet interprets the fact that this is apparently happening as proof positive that “the government is exploiting the Osama death fantasy as an excuse to expand the police state grid in the United States and acclimate the populace to the presence of militarized cops and unconstitutional random searches in mass transit hubs.” Again, show me the evidence that your interpretation is correct, and I’ll change my mind. And I do not think that the word “grid” means what you think it means, either.

Jim Marrs, who is wrong about almost everything except his awesome hat-beard combination, thinks that Osama has been dead since 2001.

You can see where this goofy quip might go: Killing Osama bin Laden as an excuse to pass climate legislation.

Altmed ding-dong Dr. Steve R. Pieczenik continues to say that he has special inside information about the 9/11 “false flag” operation. He still hasn’t given us a feckin’ name of the “General under Wolfowitz,” which would either allow us to investigate the veracity of his claim or more likely get him sued retarded for libel. So, I have no reason yet to even take him seriously.

Snopes, which is awesome, reports on a rumor that OBL’s corpse washed ashore in India. Turns out he was in a weighted bag, and also it did not happen.

Ben Radford wonders why it is so difficult for people to accept that OBL is dead and notes the complexity of the stories they spin to support their almost certainly unfounded suspicions.

That’s what I have time for. I’m off to virtual drinking skeptically.

RJB


There. My eyes have rolled so far back they’re stuck.

May 5, 2011

The fact that someone would feel they had to ask and entertain the question of whether or not someone who is pursuing a career in the academy should blog is thoroughly depressing.

Also, Ivan Tribble can go fuck himself. Big-time.

kthxbai,

RJB


More OBL Conspiracies

May 5, 2011

I’ve been trying to keep up with the conspiracy theories this week, but they are coming so fast and furious 5 that I can hardly get to them all. Nonetheless they are fascinating, not only for their predictability (many of the same ones were repeated about Elvis, Hitler and Michael Jackson) and…utter inconsistency with one another. Usually clusters of correct ideas tend toward what actually is correct. This is narrative noise, as far as I can tell.

Let’s get at it, and may Shatner give me strength:

So, the first one is the funniest. By far. This is the conspiracy theory that the picture of the President and cabinet in the Situation Room during the raid was Photoshopped. I suspect that they may be on to something:


Do you notice how conspiracists in the consequent 8 pages of comments start to get into it? Sad. WHY CAN’T YOU SEE STARS IN THE PHOTO?!?

Striking similarities have emerged between the hunt for OBL and the trajectory of the Harry Potter series. (While not a CT, I think that it is part of the propensity to link unrelated things.)

A conspiracy theory from Alex Jones states that the CIA is employing theatrics to heighten the drama of the “Osama murder photo release,” you know. Of course, Obama has decided to seal the photos, so swing and a miss, Alex, m’boy. But there are real fake photos online, if you just can’t get enough gore.

Lew Rockwell describes the “doctored” Situation Room photo as a screening of a “snuff film.” He follows the post with the comment: “How telling is it to see the military guy sitting in the larger ‘running the meeting’ chair while Obama sits off to the side with Joe Biden?” Since you asked, not at all, you delusional twit. And by military guy, you mean “Brigadier General Marshall Webb, Assistant Commanding General, Joint Special Operations Command.” Notice how he’s a little too busy to “run a meeting.” Other groups are picking up this narrative, like Before It’s News, whose correspondent says that because we don’t have film of the firefight, everything is a lie, a non sequitur on steroids.

Scholars for 9/11 Truth and Justice (and the American Way) say that the DNA evidence will not be compelling.

We Are Change L.A. is citing Russia Today, a slightly worse source than the Weekly World News, to support their claim that the US is just getting rid of an old CIA asset. If you needed to see how reliable RT is, they had Alex Jones on.

A fascinating video has appeared on the prestigious YouTube that links OBL, a coming New Madrid earthquake, Mississippi River floods, a police crackdown at an Illinois college campus, and international nuclear terrorism.

Cindy Sheehan seems to have jumped the shark.

Paul Joseph Watson at Prison Planet sees the appeal for unity as a publicity stunt on Obama’s part. And then he talks about all sorts of other unrelated stuff. Of course his boss, Alex Jones, would never use the Osama death to promote himself. (Watch his introduction to himself.) Watson, by the way, describes the operation as a Jessica Lynch-style fable. And the Jones people, again, are throwing out a variety of different agendas whose ends are supposed to be served by an announcement of the death of OBL. It reminds me of the WTC 7 conspiracies. Pick an evildoer and run with it, man! Jeez.

I freaking love this story, how a group of undergrads predicted where bin Laden would be found. Down to the house. I remember the story when it broke a few years back and was wondering how they had done. But then William Gibson retweeted the follow-up. Heheh. Not a conspiracy theory, but fun.

Mexicans are, according to Alex Jones, taking the announcement of the death of bin Laden as an invitation to come up north. What, does he think he’s Lou Dobbs now?

That the story is unclear and shifting is proof that it never happened.

Presumably, bin Laden was shot to avoid proving every 9/11 nutter right. Damned wizards turning their giants into windmills!

Today Jones announces “US Official calls 9/11 and Osama bin Laden Death “Hoax“. OMG! Of course, since all he has to offer is that he is “prepared to testify in front of a grand jury how a top general told him directly that 9/11 was a false flag inside job,” and since by “official” Jones means, a guy who claims to have advised the Carter Administration, the chances of him getting to perjure himself are relatively remote. Oh, he’s also apparently a health crank on the side. Furthermore, the destroyed helicopter was apparently a super secret stealth helicopter (perhaps the type that is following Mel Gibson around in Conspiracy Theory?). Of course, there was that guy tweeting about their stealthlessness during the raid.

[Update! Turns out, according to Jane’s, the images of the helicopter that was left behind suggest that it is classified technology. I’ve also heard people talking about radar-frustrating skin.]

Pittsburgh Steeler Rashard Mendenhall should have his twitter account taken away from him for his own good. “We’ll never know what really happened,” he twat (the accepted past tense of the verb “to tweet”). “I just have a hard time believing a plane could take a skyscraper down demolition style.” Good for you, mate! Nobody other than wackaloons say that happened. And you don’t get to suspend your judgment in ignorance and say, “We’ll never know.” Of course the crap we can know. Get off yer backside and do your homework! And go run laps.

The Kristian Krazies have refused to be silent about this. Worldview Weekend, who wants us, apparently, to just trust them, says Obama was not in charge of the operation that took down OBL. Presumably “they” are also forcing him to go to Ground Zero for the victory lap. Evolution News, which is apparently a thing, says that somehow, through junk DNA, Osama’s death proves evolution is false:

President Obama is said to have known the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden since September but chose to wait until May to authorize action against him. Why the delay? Could it perhaps have been to provide a super-timely news hook for the rollout of Jonathan Wells’ new book, The Myth of Junk DNA? If so, an additional note of congratulation is owed to Mr. Obama.

Shameless. Of course it’s not just our own domestic weirdos who have lost it, but also members of the Iranian Parliament (the original “No Spin Zone,” if I am not mistaken) have decried OBL as a Zionist puppet.

One man in the town where Osama was killed said that he can’t believe that the world’s most wanted man was living down the street. (snark)Of course, why should we care about this testimony when the Pakistani intelligence seems to not have been able to pick up bin Laden?(/snark)

The nuke conspiracy that was brewing a few days ago has become more clearly articulated, Underpants Gnome-style: “1- Create and Kill Patsy Bin Laden 2- Nuke a US City 3- Total Martial Law, 4- PROFIT!

Of course, everyone celebrates the death of Osama bin Laden in his own way:

And, finally, a hard-hitting CNN poll determined that most Americans believe that Osama bin Laden is now in hell.

Stay tuned! I’m sure we have not heard the end of this.

RJB


Breaking News: American President American!

April 27, 2011

I’ve discussed the issue of Obama’s birth status more than it warrants. Indeed, everyone has. During the campaign, the issue came up, but was dealt with handily by the press and they walked away from it. But the news cycle and the conspiracy theory cycle are not in sync, and the smoldering conspiracy theory every so often will occasionally flare up. Usually it appears only when some wingtard (I use that word with all possible respect–none whatsoever) who has managed to get elected decides to submit a “birther” bill, stipulating that a presidential candidate, to be on a ballot in the state, needs to produce a birth certificate.

Take Georgia clown Rep. Mark Hatfield, who submitted that the following become the law of the land:

(b) Within 10 days after submitting its list of names of candidates, the state executive committee shall submit to the Secretary of State for each candidate an affidavit by the candidate stating the candidate’s citizenship and age and shall append to the affidavit documents that prove the candidate is a natural born citizen, prove the candidate’s age, and prove that the candidate meets the residency requirements for President of the United States as prescribed in Article II, Section 1 of the United States Constitution.
(c) The Secretary of State shall review the affidavit and supporting documents submitted for each candidate; and if the Secretary of State finds reasonable cause to believe that the candidate does not meet the citizenship, age, and residency requirements prescribed by law, the Secretary of State shall not place that candidate’s name on the ballot.”

Now, it doesn’t say “birth certificate” or “nigger,” but we know what it means.

Personally, I believe that race is an important part of this ridiculous movement. The white ruling class, which people somehow assume I am a member of, is losing its majority. This, to me, at least, suggests, “Be nice to the swarthy people,” but reactionary types kicked back hard against the election of a black president. The president no longer looks like them, and there seems that there is something very primal, very basic, fueling this unquenchable fire.

Now, this is not the first presidential birthplace scandal, and historically the issue has not been raised on the basis of race. Take for instance the case of Chester Arthur, who was born within a day’s walk of the US/Canada border. (See? There is something mildly interesting about Chester Arthur!) He was the subject of much suspicion by his political opponents, but it seems to have just been that. More recently, candidates like Barry Goldwater (born in the “Arizona Territory”), John McCain (born on a US military base in Panama), and even Al Gore (born in Washington, DC) have faced scrutiny over their status and eligibility underneath the “natural born citizen” clause of the Constitution, though they generally haven’t been more than mild objections by opportunists. (Chester Arthur might not have been able to prove to himself that he was born on the American side of the border, by the way. Record keeping was not then what it is today.)

The Obama birth story, as far as I can tell, is the product of WorldNetDaily and Joseph Farah, and it surfaced as an issue in 2008. When you go back into the papers, you find that it was originally linked to allegations that not only was the dirty word “Hussein” in Barack Obama’s name, but “Mohammud,” at least so it appears in the 14 June 2008 edition of the St. Petersburg Times. The fact that this stems from concerns about his religion (I mean, doesn’t anyone remember him being criticized for hanging out with Jeremiah Wright?) suggests that this manufacture-versy is originally rooted in racism. And this is dangerous. I’m concerned about what could happen to the President when a significant percentage of the population think that he is a usurper.

Indeed, as I look through the record regarding the President’s ancestry, a headline (19 Jan 2004) from Africa News seems badly worded, considering the current goofiness and otherwise-valuable-time sink of the birther conspiracy theory: “Kenyan in US Senate Race.” Of course the first line of the report is more precise: “An American of Kenyan descent is topping the opinion polls in the race for Senator in the state of Illinois.”

I wanted to post some reactions from conspiracy theorists to today’s release of the so-called long-form birth certificate:

Obama’s Damned Birth Certificate

Joseph Farah, the guy who started this at his weird little website, says that he is still going to publish a book that attacks Obama’s birth certificate. Yeah, the guy really has no shame. I encourage the New York Times and Amazon to no longer list this book, “Where’s the Birth Certificate?” as non-fiction, but as fiction.

Infowars just rejects it out of hand and says that it “raises as many questions as it answers.”

The Smoking Gun anticipates the upcoming looniness from those who simply will not accept this as evidence. Ironically, even though TSG calls these ideas “nutty,” Infowars (Alex Jones’s website) cites it as if it didn’t think that they were loonbats from Mars.

Donald Trump has gotten stranger by the week. He is now demanding that Obama show his college record (as anyone in education knows, these records would be sealed under FERPA, so of course we don’t have them). He suggests that Obama was not a good student, basically suggesting that Obama was an affirmative action hire, who took away a slot from a more talented, better-qualified white kid. Of course, Trump’s son-in-law clearly bought his way into Harvard.

I’m just glad this is all behind us, and that now that undeniable evidence has come to light, exactly what the birthers were demanding, that we can put this behind us and march happily into a bright tomorrow!

RJB


The Shakespeare Conspiracy, or Did Batboy Write Hamlet?

April 27, 2011

In March I gave a presentation to the Atlanta Skeptics about the Shakespeare authorship question and compared the flawed reasoning of Shakespeare conspiracy theorists to more modern conspiracy theories. Here is the description that I provided for the talk:

I wrote Shakespeare. I am a time-traveling alien who built Stonehenge, the pyramids and wrote the works commonly attributed to William Shakespeare. I also created the earth 6000 years ago and helped fake the moon landing. You can’t prove that I didn’t.

Not all fringe theories are alike, but proponents of fringe theories tend to use similar reasoning (or lack thereof) to support their claims. Regardless of the specific fringe theory, the same logical fallacies will appear over and over again, as, for example, the attempt to shift the burden of proof. The argument that Francis Bacon/Christopher Marlowe/the Earl of Oxford/the Countess of Pembroke/Queen Elizabeth I/Batboy wrote Shakespeare thus has much in common with theories that suggest we never landed on the moon or that 9/11 was an inside job. Come for the strawman; stay for the red herring.

Mark Ditsler of Abrupt Media has made that talk and the accompanying PowerPoint presentation available online, and I repost it here as an .mp3.

ES


The week in conspiracy (19 April 2011)

April 19, 2011

You remember last time when I said that global events were coming to a head in the coming week? Boy, I sure was wrong because this week– THIS WEEK– represents the culmination of vast clandestine machinations.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week (or so):


NECSS, etc….

April 17, 2011

What a week it has been. I feel like it simply rolled over me. It’s late in the semester, and every little thing just feels five times as important. And because I have had the awesome foresight to make everything due at the point of the semester when I am most tired, well, things really are piling up.

I was, however, able to take a few days off and mosey up to NYC to attend NECSS, the Northeast Conference on Science and Skepticism, which was a hoot at a holler, verily. I had been in New Jersey, as you doubtlessly know, to deliver a paper (posted on this site a few days ago) about science and literary theory. I delivered the paper in New Brunswick in the afternoon and then skipped off to the train station, where I caught a ride to Penn Station.

Penn Station is a crime against aesthetics, but I wasn’t there to sightsee. I was there to leave. I got in a cab and took it up, or possibly down, to my hotel, the Ameritania. I had scoped it online to see if there were bedbugs, because I am a scaredy baby man and didn’t want to bring them home. I had found conflicting reports on bedbug infestation sites, but I decided to go with buggirl’s recommended bedbug watchdog site and decided that it would be ok, as long as my luggage was always only in the bathtub. Except when I was using it.

Now, I was under the impression that the conference hotels and assorted social venues were right around the corner from each other, but they really weren’t, as I found out using my $10-day hotel Internet connection. No matter. I had to go find the bar where the first Drinking Skeptically was being held.

It was a hoot, of course. Luminaries of the skeptical movement were there. I think that the first person I recognized was Carl Zimmer, the science writer. But eventually the balcony of the bar filled with nerds, and all was right in the world.

Talked to a variety of the Skepchicks, caught up briefly with Joe Anderson, met some pleasant folks from Canada (also known as “Canadians”) who had taken the bus from…I think the North Pole. Met folks from all over the country, several of whom were attending one of these types of events for the first time. I also ran into a couple of people who I only knew virtually, which is always a treat. Podcasters, JREF people, astronomers, all sorts of folks were there.

And so I left early.

I didn’t leave because of all the people, but because I had a sense that my time in NYC was going to be taken up almost entirely by NECSS events, and, hey, I had seen some pretty cool stuff from the cab on the way down to the bar. I decided to try to walk back to my probably not infested hotel.

It was mostly a straight shot down 5th Avenue, just one turn, albeit something like 20 blocks away.

I came upon the Empire State Building, and not some ersatz Empire State Building, but a real and proper one. I admired the deco and contemplated how it had been constructed by Daleks during the Depression. There is apparently a deco font that all storefronts need to use on their signs, and while I appreciate the effort, it seemed a little forced to me. I moved on.

When I was a little kid, I visited New York a couple of times, and perhaps of all the things that I saw when I was nine, the coolest by far was the New York Public Library, not because I was a tediously bookish nine-year old, but because Ghostbusters had been filmed there. I walked past and drank it in, remembering when I was a kid, and recognizing something from a favorite movie made the movie just a little bit more real, and the boundaries between reality and fiction dissolved a little.

“Oh! THAT’S high-class!” a girl with an Australian accent yelled.

A guy was pissing on the steps of the library.

I turned and walked away as the drunk staggered through a puddle of his own urine to catch up with his inebriate friends.

I soon came upon Rockefeller Center, and I walked over to contemplate the NBC-ness of it all. I watched ice skaters showboating while novices flailed helplessly on the rink. Following a hunch, I decided to circle the building. I was looking for a mosaic, Barry Faulkner’s “Intelligence Awakens Mankind” (1933). It was put up on the RCA (now GE) Building facade. I wrote about this a few days ago, so I won’t rehash it, but it was a complete thrill for me to see. I curated the business records of the mosaic firm that installed the mosaics, and I had only seen images of them in black and white, so I was completely tickled to see them in vibrant color.

Just around the corner from the Faulkner mural, another artist who worked with the Ravenna Mosaic Company, Hildreth Meiere, was represented on the side of Radio City Music Hall. Her giant medallions representing theater…

…music…

…and dance…

…are beautiful examples of the deco style. (Meiere is without a doubt one of the most monumentally under-appreciated artists of the 20th century. Unfortunately, there was no medallion to represent what was appearing at Radio City Music Hall at the time, Charlie Sheen’s Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour:

Click to embiggen. I took the outside photos the next morning before things started.

A little farther down, I found more mosaics, none that I was familiar with, in the tympanum of the 5th Avenue Presbyterian Church.

Don’t you judge me.

I decided to plow into Times Square and see what was what. At this point it was about 11:00. Nothing prepared me for the blaze of lights and sheer mass of people. It was rather overwhelming, and I ducked into a back street, where I promptly got myself lost. No matter. Cabbies are there to rescue yokels like me. He told me that he knew I was from out of town because I hailed him from the sidewalk. A New Yorker, he told me, stepped into the middle of the street. I believe him. I gave him my hotel’s address, which turns out was only a few blocks down and around the corner. I hurried through the lobby to the elevator and got off on the 6th floor.

It was a long Friday. It would be a long Saturday.

RJB


The Topography of Ignorance: Science and Literary Theory

April 12, 2011

The following is a talk that I gave this weekend at the Northeastern Modern Language Association conference in New Brunswick, NJ at a panel on Science and Literary Theory.

Several years ago, I took a 19th-century American literature seminar during my PhD coursework. During that class, each student in turn would guide the discussion of the week’s reading. One week, a student working toward his Masters was leading a fairly typical class, expounding at some length on the finer points of Moby Dick, and though I don’t remember the specifics of my fellow student’s conclusion, I remember that he offered a baroque hypothesis about the politics of race and gender and misrepresentation. Even though he had brought up numerous interesting observations about the text, I’m not sure I really had any idea what my friend was talking about, but I was politely professional and said nothing. When the student had finished and received polite applause, the instructor, an Americanist with whom I agreed on almost nothing, asked the one question that had been haunting me ever since my undergraduate studies of literature and culture had taken a theoretical bent in graduate school.

“Do you really believe all that?” he asked.

I can’t think of a less polite thing to ask a graduate student, or, honestly, a more important question.

I’m a relative latecomer to the subject of the so-called “science wars.” I suspect that a lot of what I have to say has been covered by any number of philosophers, scientists and academic pundits. I tend to agree with the severest criticism directed at many of the major figures in theory, the type of criticism leveled by Paul Gross and Norman Levitt in their Higher Superstition. I think that the Sokal Hoax offers an important warning that academics in the humanities fail to heed at the expense of disciplinary credibility. The hoax, you’ll remember, was perpetrated by physicist Alan Sokal against the postmodernist journal Social Text in 1996. Social Text published Sokal’s article, “Transgressing the Boundaries: Towards a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity.” Saturated with scientific absurdities, the article aped postmodernist jargon, political posturing, and rhetorical habits. The fact that something which, had it appeared on the Internet (presumably in ALL CAPS), would have been blasted as purest pseudoscience, had appeared in a professional academic journal produced a scandal that was about as polarizing as any you are likely to find in the academy. The furor over what were widely taken to be the broader implications of the hoax, that literary and cultural studies is vacuous, deceptive and infantile suggests that Sokal had chomped down hard on an exposed nerve.

As I prepared my thoughts on this topic, I was struck by how similar at first glance the similarity between literary /slash/ cultural theory and the preparadigmatic state of the natural sciences that Thomas Kuhn describes in his The Structure of Scientific Revolutions. The state of literary theory is one in which practitioners are “able to take no common body of belief for granted” and “each writer…[feels] forced to build his field anew from its foundations” (13). Certainly, a major contributing factor to this state of affairs is that the proper object of Capital-T-Theory remains, despite, more than 30 years of practice, undefined. Possible candidates include literature and other communicative acts, social structures like institutions, the nature of power, systems of meaning, and the process of making meaning. Now might this might not be such a large problem when you are comparing different theories—certain texts which raise questions that postcolonial studies are better equipped to answer than, say, fat studies, which is now apparently a thing. But even within the various schools of thought, the proper object of study varies. Take, for instance, the range of possibilities in psychoanalytic theory. I have seen psychoanalytic literary criticism directed at authors, works, characters in the works, even entire cultures. Once, and I swear I’m not making this up, I saw an author claim that Much Ado About Nothing had analyzed him (Krims, introduction xv). I mean, what does that even mean? Professional psychiatry, with the exception of a dwindling cult of hardcore Freudians, has long recognized that Freud’s understanding of the mind was fundamentally flawed.

Now, I write and research about pseudoscience and other forms of pseudoscholarship, and as I was reading and reviewing commentaries on the state of Theory, some patterns emerged, which worryingly (for reasons I will explain later) are informed by my other work. The factions of theory, including identity (including feminist, race and queer), Marxist, psychoanalytic and deconstruction camps share numerous characteristics of the type of diseased, self-perpetuating thinking typical of conspiracy theorists and other demonstrably flawed systems of thought.

The first way in which literary and cultural theory behaves like a conspiracy theory (and other forms of wishful pseudoscholarship) is how very often the absence of evidence, or even direct counterevidence, is taken as evidence for the phenomenon or theory in question. By this logic, the more counterevidence a critic produces, the more the more powerful the theory appears to become. In the lore of UFO cover-ups, the overwhelming lack of evidence in favor of the hypothesis that UFOs are extraterrestrial in origin, much less piloted by aliens, is taken by the advocates of “disclosure” as positive evidence of the size of the conspiracy. When you present UFO theorists with evidence that no, aliens did not crash in Roswell, and that balloons with classified instruments designed to detect Soviet nuclear tests did, they reply that the documents and testimony is forged, and they walk away with a sense that you have only confirmed what they have been talking about.

Numerous commentators reflecting on the state of critical theory have found that this applies to various schools of theory. Jonathan Gottschall sums the problem up nicely:

Psychoanalysts have argued that citing evidence against their belief system is quite transparently–in itself–evidence for that system; criticism of Marxist or neo-Marxist notions can be dismissed as craven attempts to bolster the critic’s economic interests; and any criticism of the so-called race-class-gender-sexuality movements can be brushed off as spasms of rightist political reflexes […]. While these prophylactics against negative evidence have been potent, and while they help explain the impressive resilience of the dominant paradigm, they have also been primary obstacles to the generation of reliable knowledge. (39)

Embedded within this commentary is the assumption that theory means to be reliable, or at least in some sense apply to the real world. However, if there is to something to be saved of high theory, I believe that theorists must surrender this presumption of practical utility.

Perhaps the most direct contributor to the Sokal Hoax was the fact that these schools of theory have their own, alternative experts. This seems directly analogous to a group of 9/11 Truthers I have been corresponding with lately. One has told me, “Listen to the experts.” By experts, of course, he means his experts, who are an architect, a retired theologian and a physicist who happened to participate in one of the biggest science scandals of the 20th century, the cold fusion brouhaha of the late 1980s. As in the Truth community, certain groups of theorists have gurus whose credibility is left untouched by deep methodological and evidentiary flaws that would be unacceptable in any legitimate discipline, and whose work is immediately recognized as not just worthless, but misleading, by people who have genuine expertise. Take, for instance, Brian Vickers’ assessment of two of the largest superstars:

Freud’s work is notoriously speculative, a vast theoretical edifice elaborated with a mere pretense of corroboration, citing ‘clinical observations’ which turn out to be false, with contrary evidence suppressed, data manipulated, building up over a forty-year period a self-obscuring, self-protective mythology. The system of Derrida, although disavowing systematicity, is based on several unproven assumptions about the nature of language which are supported by a vast expanding web of idiosyncratic terminology (249).

These pseudo-experts misuse scientific terminology for opportunistic, rhetorical purposes, which I suspect are largely to lend them authority in the eyes of those who do not know better. And, let’s face it, this led to some of the most extravagant and embarrassing proclamations identified by Gross and Leavitt.

Conspiracy theories and critical theories also resemble one another in that the two are accompanied with a sense of righteousness or political commitment, that the theorist in some ways is crusading against an oppressive force. This is especially true in what Gottschall calls the “liberationist paradigm,” in which “Objectivity [is] just a synonym for white male subjectivity” (5). A colleague of mine who works on interregnum Caribbean slavery narratives found that Irish-Catholic males were forcibly impressed into indefinite periods of servitude and brought to tropical plantations in chains under Cromwell. When she named this, rightly I think, as slavery, a tenured colleague of hers who was a committed postcolonialist accused her of usurping the exclusivity of African slavery narratives in Caribbean studies. The correct answer to this, of course, is, “You’re damn right I am, if the African narrative alone doesn’t fit the facts,” but this is not a statement conducive to professional advancement.

Indeed, a lot the schools of theory seem to stem from popular political movements. One of the funny things about UFO contactees is how often the message that they receive from their extraterrestrial contacts are seemingly tailored to the relevant political movements and concerns of the day. During the Cold War, the benevolent Space Brothers warned us about the dangers of nuclear weapons; after the Cold War, they warned us about polluting the environment. It is probably not a coincidence that ecocriticism arrived at about the same time that the little green men started lecturing us about the importance of going green, as it were. Indeed, ecocritic Simon Estok says that “ecocriticism has distinguished itself, debates notwithstanding, first by the ethical stand it takes, its commitment to the natural world as an important thing rather than simply as an object of thematic study, and, secondly, by its commitment to making connections.” The editors of the ecocrit collection, Reading the Earth, argue that:

Implicit (and often explicit) in much of this new criticism is a call for cultural change. Ecocriticism is not just a means of analyzing nature in literature; it implies a move toward a more biocentric worldview, an extension of ethics, a broadening of humans’ conception of global community to include nonhuman life forms and the physical environment. Just as feminist and African American literary criticism call for a change in culture […] so too does ecological literary criticism advocate for cultural change by examining how the narrowness of our culture’s assumptions about the natural world has limited our ability to envision an ecologically sustainable human society. (qtd. in Estok)

In much the same way that conspiracy theories are fueled by political ideals, take, for instance the 9/11 Truthers who are absolutely convinced that they are exposing great evils, no matter how silly, and the anticommunists of the Cold War, who were convinced that they were doing no less than saving freedom itself, so too have critical theorists seen themselves as waging a good war on behalf of oppressed people, and in the case just mentioned, saving human society from itself.

A further point of similarity between literary theory and conspiracy theory is that they seem to come awareness of unknown truths about the ‘real’ nature of things through meticulous—some would say hypermyopic—attention to minutiae. For instance, take the typical JFK assassination buff. He can tell you about every little bit of evidence, the results of every single test, every little strange particle of nuance of evidence relevant and irrelevant to the events in Dealey Plaza. He is doing, essentially, a super-hyper close reading of the narrative of the assassination. The problem, of course, is that he has a bad grasp of the relative importance of various pieces of evidence to the narrative as a whole. On the basis of that extremely close reading, like the deconstructionist, he often stresses those elements that are external to the narrative. At the same time, both conspiracy theorists and literary theorists seem to evince a belief in the inevitability of political change caused by the simple fact that revealing that truth.

One of the characteristics of academic theory that allowed Sokal to convincingly impersonate serious theorists was deploying the specialized language of theory. While this is, as Kuhn recognizes, perhaps an inevitable part of professionalization and establishment of expertise in the empirical sciences, to the point that even specialists in the same academic departments might not even be able to communicate easily, in the case of theory (and especially in deconstruction) one wonders whether or specialists can communicate at all, as the verbal documents that they generate are at times grammatically correct, meaningless sentences rendered impenetrable with jargon. Edward Ervin’s Introductory Dictionary of Lacanian Psychoanalysis, started as a database designed to help him clarify for himself the terminology of Lacan’s seminars, but as he later reported:

As I tried to make sense of Lacan’s bizarre rhetoric, it became clearer to me that the obfuscatory language did not hide a deeper meaning but was in fact a direct manifestation of the confusion inherent in Lacan’s own fault. But whereas most of Lacan’s commentators preferred to ape the master’s style and perpetuate the obscurity, I wanted to dissipate the haze and expose whatever was underneath. […] Ironically, it was this attempt to open Lacanian theory up to criticism that played a major role in leading me to reject Lacanian theory itself. (42)

This use of language seems to me to be more in line with mysticism or possibly cult-speak than with conspiracy theory as such. It turns out that difference may simply be to deconstruction what “engrams” are to Scientologists, insofar as they serve as markers for members of in-group members and out-group members. Obfuscatory language does not shield theory from criticism; it shields it from legitimacy and relevance.

There is some encouraging news, of course, and this is that the practitioners of theory who fall into the category I’ve outlined comparatively few in number—you rarely bump into someone outside of a specialty journal who espouses wholehearted devotion to a single school of thought. Most literary and cultural criticism appropriates only what is relevant to the topic at hand and disregards the rest. Nonetheless, the theorists whose work is taken to be representative of the various schools of criticism tend to be more sensationalistic. A peculiar feature of much theory is a tacit appreciation of its mere “boldness,” as if claims of radical destabilization are laudable in themselves. True, we have found it desirable and enlightening to reexamine our underlying assumptions, and this has led to genuinely enlightened, more informed views on issues such as sexuality and race, but it does not follow that destabilisation in itself is desirable. It is not clear what the impact of intellectuals championing these causes is on society’s perception of sexuality, gender, race or ecology. Nonetheless, when theorists declaim on subject about which they know nothing, they devalue the work of other, more responsible scholars through an unfair guilt by association.

So, what’s to be done; how do we avoid another Sokal Hoax? Wouldn’t it be great and ironic if I yelled enthusiastically, “REVOLUTION!?”

This is an important question, as the humanities are chronically starved for funding. The answer depends on how literary theorists decide to describe their job, whether they see themselves as producers of knowledge who are developing ever more accurate and detailed understandings of the nature and working of literature and culture, or if they see themselves primarily as artists. In the first case, if theorists decide, that they want, to use Gottschall’s phrase: “the ability to systematically and decisively narrow out allotted portion of possibility space–to zoom in toward truth in the immense multidimensional hyperspace of error and vacuity” (9), they have failed.

Gottschall makes an intriguing proposal about how to move forward with the project of reducing error in literary studies, and that is plying statistical sampling and analysis to literary texts. He points out that the quantification of social phenomena has always met with popular resistance, but it has revealed underlying order to any number of social phenomena. Why should literature be any exception? I think that there are two major obstacles, neither of which is insurmountable or easy. The first may be described as inertia, an unwavering devotion to the notion that there are some things like literature can’t be quantified. This, of course, is merely a bald assertion, and without trials to examine whether or not such a project would be profitable, there is simply no basis for making that claim.

The second obstacle to the successful completion of the project is that the infrastructure of literary studies, as it currently exists, is not designed to produce scholars of the type that Gottschall proposes. It is designed to perpetuate theory as it already is. The problem with this is that programs in literary theory—or cultural studies writ large—do not have the expertise in statistics needed to become this sort of scholar at either the graduate or undergraduate level. As a result, I am afraid that it will take a rather substantial overhaul of theory programs to even begin down this road. That or interdisciplinary training through other departments.

One reform, I think, immediately available to all departments, and one that I believe is fundamental to improving the standing of theory, is raising awareness of cognitive biases and their ability to corrupt research. One of the most damaging and pervasive flaws in modern humanistic scholarship is the lack of awareness or concern for confirmation bias, which is a dangerous mental habit that determines what one accepts as relevant evidence. It is the propensity for people to seek out confirmatory instead of disconfirmatory evidence. For example, when you are posed with the question, “Is Ted an extrovert?” you are likely to ask questions like, “Does he have friends? Or does he like going out on weekends?” instead of paying attention to the fact that he plays chess and reads, the types of things introverts are likely to do. In life we unconsciously notice and value elements of the world that confirm our worldview to the exclusion of those that don’t. Numerous swindles depend on this very human propensity, and currently, when we are trained in theory we are being trained to give confirmation bias free range. When confronted with a mass of data, say, a novel or a culture, and you are able to forgive yourself for squinting a little bit, it is very, very easy to find evidence for anything. If your academic kink happens to be imperial conquest, you’ll find imperial conquest. If it’s patriarchy, you’ll find patriarchy. If it’s pandas, you’ll find pandas. And we don’t pay any attention to this tendency. I searched the entire MLA database for the phrase “confirmation bias” and it appears only once.

Another vital element of a program of reform that will lead to literary theory becoming a reliable tool for discerning the real world will be to replace scientific pseudoexperts like Freud and Lacan with actual experts in the relevant empirical sciences, especially in the science of the mind. This will require some additional training, and I’m not sure it’s the type of training that could reasonably be confined to a graduate education, but if you are going to invest the time in writing a dissertation about the products of the human mind, you cannot but improve your work by informing it with an awareness of the state of the empirical science. And when you address scientific matters you need to understand the limitations of that science as well. When you are talking about indeterminacy, you need to be aware that this is a property that is only useful when it is applied to the world of particles. You may employ indeterminacy as an artistic metaphor, of course, but when you do so, you must not mistake your metaphor for the real thing or imagine that because you have used the metaphor that you have somehow altered particle physics. When you critique the content of science, or any field of knowledge, as many theorists have, you need to address the relevant issues at the level of the experts, and this is very, very difficult without specialist training. It reminds me of a situation I believe Carl Sagan described when he looked into the claims of the pseudoscientist and psychoanalyst Immanuel Velikovsy, that Jupiter ejected the planet Venus and that a series of close passes by Venus to Earth caused a number of the miracles described in the Bible. Religious scholars scoffed at Velikovsky’s interpretation of biblical events but were impressed by his astronomical knowledge. Scientists thought that the biblical stuff was ok, but thought his astronomical proclamations were ridiculous.

The other option is to surrender pretentions to objectivity and describe theorists as artists. Art makes no claims on objective reality, and some very artful and elegant readings of texts can come out of even the most badly flawed pseudoscience. I think that it would be folly to not consider an Oedipal reading of Hamlet, even if there is no evidence of an Oedipus complex in the real world. Exciting art can be made when you filter a work of literature through a novel perspective. In doing so, you are doing what artists have done for ages, drawing on and responding to the zeitgeist. I consider that project to be akin to the various repinterpretations by Dali and Picasso of Velazquez’s Las Meninas, wherein something of the original artwork remains, but the style and aesthetic concerns of the modern artists dominate the interpretation. Take the Freudian example. In psychoanalytic criticism, a theorist may in practice substitute any symbol for any other symbol. This is immensely liberating for the imaginative, creative mind. But one should not imagine that the substitutions that the theorist makes are anything but the products of their own mind. So, if theory and interpretation abandon pretenses of objective analysis and embrace the posture that they are using science as a metaphor, we will do much to clarify the work that literary and cultural critics are accomplishing.

Something needs to change. High theory, as it is currently conceived and practiced, is a celebration of disordered thinking. To prevent further embarrassment to the profession and improve the quality of our work, we need to hold our theorists to high standards; and when it comes to matters of science, we need to hold them to the standards of the field they mean to critique. We need to raise the scientific literacy of our humanities faculties and educate our students about confirmation bias. Finally, when we deploy science as a metaphor, we need to frankly acknowledge it as such, just a metaphor. Thank you.

RJB

Postscript: After I gave this talk, a guy came up to me and said, “My dissertation adviser was one of the editors at Social Text. Oops! Heehee.  (I almost typed Sokal Text–eek!). He did in fact say that the editors schooled themselves in science afterwards, which is encouraging.

References:

Estok, Simon C. “A Report Card on Ecocriticism.” AUMLA : Journal of the Australasian Universities Modern Language Association 96 (Nov 2001): 220-238. Online at <http://www.asle.org/site/resources/ecocritical-library/intro/reportcard/&gt;

Evans, Dylan. “From Lacan to Darwin.” The Literary Animal: Evolution and the Nature of Narrative. Eds., Jonathan Gottschall and David Sloan Wilson. 34–55.

Gottschall, Jonathan. Literature, Science, and a New Humanities. New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2008.

Gross, Paul R. and Leavitt, Norman. Higher Superstition: The Academic Left and Its Quarrels with Science. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins UP, 1998.

Krims, Marvin Bennett. The Mind According to Shakespeare: Psychoanalysis in the Bard’s Writing. Westport: Praeger, 2006. Introduction, xv.

Vickers, Brian. “Masters and Demons.” Theory’s Empire: An Anthology of Dissent. Eds. Daphne Patai and Will H. Corral. New York: Columbia UP, 2005. 247-270.


Back from NECSS…(Nek-c-Suh-Suh)

April 10, 2011

I’m back, and I feel a little exhausted. I enjoyed my weekend in New York immensely, and I was delighted to to find that so many of my Internet correspondents are also capable of taking physical form.

Last night was pretty wicked, I have to say. It was a bar that had Guinness…and that’s about all. George Hrab was playing to an appreciative crowd. When Phil “Better Astronomer Than His Pseudonym Implies” Plait got up on stage and did “Death from the Skies,” the place went bonkers. So much fun.

I’ll do a better write up soon, I swear. Need pizza.

RJB


The Evening in Conspiracy…

April 7, 2011

What ho, what ho, what ho? Bob here coming from the beautiful garden state of New Jersey in the charming burgh of New Brunswick. I’m presenting a paper and participating in a panel discussion on science and literature tomorrow at the Northeastern Modern Language Association conference. I finished my paper tonight and will spend the morning tootling around the booksellers’ stalls and gracing various panels with my presence. Directly after my talk, I will be hopping into a cab for the train station and heading into New York City for NECSS. I am indescribably excited about that. It’s going to be a fun weekend.

But, wait, you are thinking. What about the global conspiracy to put microchips in our heads and kill the weak and inconvenient? Who will warn us about those? Ah, never you worry. Others are taking up the cause and waging the battle on wikipedia. Earlier this evening, Eve sent me a link to the entry on FEMA, the Federal Emergency Management Agency, the chaps who proved themselves the model of efficiency and competency when New Orleans was hit by Katrina. Anyway, as you know, FEMA are the ones who are preparing the extermination camps, as the breathless wheezing of the unmedicated mentally ill will attest to on youtube. The front page was pretty funny:

Click to embiggen.

But to get to the meaty stuff, you need to go into the discussion pages:

Click to embiggen

Click to embiggen.

Ah, that makes me very happy. What do you think the odds are that, deep down, the conspiracy theorist doesn’t accept the decision?

RJB