This Week in Conspiracy (28 January 2012)

January 29, 2012

Amazingly, there were no new conspiracy theories this week. Everyone just kind of got it together and things ended up being pretty groovy. OH WHO AM I KIDDING?! I’VE BEEN SENTENCED TO LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE!!!

At any rate, I picked up Conspiracy Rising by Martha F. Lee. I’ll likely review it here in a few days. It’s one of my first few ebooks. I may review the ebook experience while I’m at it, since I have been a holdout for a long time.

  • Nanoparticles? At Fukushima? Oh no! Not NANO! Nano’s the conspiracy theorist’s flubber! Sure, there haven’t been any deaths from the meltdown at Fukushima, that doesn’t mean you can’t scare your readers. Unethical, InfoHub. Would you at least apologize when you are wrong? Reputable news outlets do that when they screw up so epically.
  • A new study finds that some conspiracy theorists are capable of believing two incompatible conspiracy theories at once. We are going to have to revise the definition of “genius,” clearly.
  • Well, a graduate student at Yale is having a bit of a protracted freakout. She was relieved of her teaching duties when she unrolled a mother of a conspiracy theory on her students. It’s out there.
  • Now, I’m not calling Above Top Secret reputable, mind you, but a mod did go out of his/her way to correct misinformation a contributor released. The tweet I received read:

Judge Has Ruled, Secretary Of State Agrees, Obama Off Of Ballot In Georgia!!!!!! (69 flags) dlvr.it/17Ttp

A moment’s consideration reveals that since this is not front page news all over the country it is unlikely to be true. The mod links to the AJC, which is darned respectable. Here’s their take.

The photos and an interview with an eyewitness who described the facility and its inward facing barbed wire fence and one-way turnstiles add more compelling evidence to the indisputable fact that FEMA operates as a modern version of the Gestapo.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week:

I easily could have picked “Extraterrestrial War of the 1930’s reveals Jewish holocaust true masterminds,” but I didn’t. I picked the conspiracy theory I’m calling: “You got the right one–babies!” Mike Adams over at Natural News accuses Pepsi of using aborted fetuses in taste tests. The story does not originate with Adams, who I can’t remember ever being right about anything, but it prompted an Oklahoma state senator to introduce anti-Soylent Green legislation. This guy also happens to be a birther. My favorite headline: “Fun-Hating Legislator Proposes Ban on Eating Aborted Human Fetuses.” Forbes discusses the fake controversy.

Exopolitics let me down this week, I have to day. Oh, well. I’m sure there will be more to it.


This Week in Conspiracy (22 Jan 2012)

January 22, 2012

…And we’re back. I am writing this at a Whole Foods, where I am surrounded by hippies, feeling a little like Cartman.

But not even wafting clouds of caustic patchouli could keep me from rounding up the worst of the web! I’m going to have to keep this one short, however, as I am gearing up for a pretty big job interview. This is the one, people.

  • Ah, it’s the end of the world. Again. This time, it’s skyquakes, and should my spell check ever accept that as a word, I shall promptly jump into a canyon. They are caused, sez this dude, by a “destabilizing core,” whatever that is. He might as well say it is caused by trolls. Visit that link only if you want to experience an intricate vacuity.
  • From the Most Irritating Man in the World comes, “Nicola Tesla–Superhero!” Stay goofy, my friends.
  • Orly Taitz’s subpoena of Obama not summarily thrown out of court, for once. The best coverage begins:

​Orly Taitz won a court motion in Georgia this week and, after consulting my ass and the sky, monkeys are not flying out of my butt and pigs still cannot fly.

AboveTopSecret @AboveTopSecret 2m  Reply  Retweet  Favorite · Open
Who killed Iran’s nuclear scientist? CIA, Mossed, Britain, Iran? Let
me know RT @ATSRecapBryan – ow.ly/8A37y

  • NASA: “Not all triangles are UFOs.”
  • The conspiracy to keep Ron Paul from ever winning anything at the national level continues in South Carolina.
  • Baby dies of disease she was probably not vaccinated against. BLAME THE VACCINES! There are lots of causes of meningitis, and she was vaccinated against the bacterium, Haemophilus influenzae, which used to be the prime cause. But there are other bacteria that cause meningitis, like, Streptococcus pneumoniae, which now causes most cases of bacterial meningitis. This poor girl’s first diagnosis was “slight chest infection.” By the way, take a gander at this woman’s CV. Her warped view of vaccines has led her to write a book suggesting that baby-shaking baby killers are falsely accused. Wow.
  • Grr.
  • Oh no! The Illuminati are invading Eastern European pop music! Is nothing too irrelevant?!?
  • Shaq reveals he is a Mason:

Conspiracy Theory of the Week:

You almost won again again, Exopolitics.com, with “Evidence shows 9/11 false flag operation may have been a hyperdimensional ET event,” but this week’s prize goes to a family that should not have access to video equipment. Or the Internet. Or vinegar:

That’s all for now. I’m now off to have every item of clothing I own pressed and starched.

RJB


Skeptical Humanities Panel at Dragon*Con

January 15, 2012

We’ve been out of commission for a few weeks. I am working on another edition of the conspiracy theory round up this evening, but to tide you over, I’d like to direct you to a video that just went up, our Skepticism and Humanities panel at Dragon*Con, featuring Eve, Massimo Pigliucci, Jenna Marie Griffith, Joe Nickell and me.

Much thanks goes to Derek Colanduno, who runs the SkepTrack, and Mark Ditsler of Abrupt Media, who records every second of SkeptTrack in high-def on a minimum of five cameras.

RJB


This Week in Conspiracy (11 December 2011)

December 12, 2011

I sit here a sparrowfart away from death, but not even my impending demise will stop me from bringing you another week in conspiracy.

While it is perfectly obvious to everyone that Ben Jonson wrote all of Shakespeare’s plays, it is less known that Ben Jonson’s plays were written by a teen-age girl in Sunderland, who mysteriously disappeared, leaving no trace of her existence, which is clear proof that she wrote them. The plays of Marlowe were actually written by a chambermaid named Marlene, who faked her own orgasm, and then her own death in a Deptford tavern brawl. Queen Elizabeth, who was obviously a man, conspired to have Shakespeare named as the author of his plays, because how could a man who had only a grammar-school education and spoke Latin and a little Greek possibly have written something as bad as “All’s Well That Ends Well”? It makes no sense. It was obviously an upper-class twit who wished to disguise his identity so that Vanessa Redgrave could get a job in her old age.

My fave Pak conspiracy theory was from a respected journo: “But who is behind the theory about Pakistanis loving conspiracy theories?” @jemima_khan

Conspiracy Theory of the Week:

This is not really a conspiracy theory of the week. It just needed to be sectioned off from the rest of the round-up. You see, Luke Rudkowski went to the dentist. He was a sexist, horrid, pig-ignorant prick at all points:

  • LukeRudkowski: dentist was dumb but she was cute and for some strange reason was rubbing her boobs in my face. awkward, did that ever happen to anyone Original Tweet: http://twitter.com/LukeRudkowski/status/144181007602561026
  • LukeRudkowski: the dentist tried to tell me that mercury is not bad for me, i told her to break a mercury thermometer and put it her month Original Tweet: http://twitter.com/LukeRudkowski/status/144178571911495681
  • Luke Rudkowski Been radiated 14 times by this 1970s looking Machine. Anyway i can avoid it twitpic.com/7pfjco2 minutes ago
  • mrthatguydude Dave @LukeRudkowski twitpic.com/7pf6t4 – 10x the mind control. 25 minutes ago Retweeted by LukeRudkowski
  • LukeRudkowski Starting to think the dential industry is apart of the nwo eugenics plan. Lol but seriously radiation mercury and fluoride wtf 22 minutes ago
  • LukeRudkowski Luke Rudkowski Not a good sight when your sitting in a dentists chair twitpic.com/7pf6t4 30 minutes ago

Yeah, I’m sure she wanted to get with the tinfoil wearing man-pig in her chair. LOL.

RJB


Conspiracy Theory Panel at Dragon*Con

December 7, 2011

Kylie and Bob. Richard Saunders is sitting on my shoulder whispering evil thoughts: "Try the marmite..."

Go over and visit Kylie Sturgess at The Token Skeptic. She posted my conspiracy theory panel at Dragon*Con 2011. It features Kylie, Ben Radford, my colleague Tom Lolis, and yours truly discussing all things conspiratorial. Of course, we all thank Mark Ditsler for his work recording and producing the audio and Derek Colanduno for, you know, just the whole Skeptic Track.

RJB


This Week in Conspiracy (4 December 2011)

December 4, 2011

Howdy. We may be blasting Burzynski mercilessly, but we’re still constantly collecting stories for the week in conspiracy. If you come across any good ones, please let me know!

Conspiracy Theories of the Week

“Nothing in this section shall be construed to affect existing law or authorities, relating to the detention of United States citizens, lawful resident aliens of the United States or any other person who is captured or arrested in the United States.”

That’s all you’re going to get out of me this week. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some important Mystery Science Theater 3000s to watch.

RJB


This Week in Conspiracy (30 November 2011)

November 29, 2011

Already time for another roundup? So be it.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week:

I loved this one. Lots:

I think that we should parachute Joe Nickell in to investigate!
Anyway, as we plow into the last weeks of the semester, I’m working on a fun (for me) little series about my favorite rock album. Those should start coming out soon.
RJB

This Week in Conspiracy (20 Nov 2011)

November 22, 2011

It was a crazily jam-packed weekend for those of us at Skeptical Humanities, so this is a little late and a little short. On Saturday, Eve and I put on our thinking helmets (sometimes you just need the extra protection) and attended an event by paranormal enthusiasts. One of us will be writing about it soon, I’m sure. We were so tired at the end of the day, I think we missed our first skeptics in the pub event since…ever.

This morning, we were out again. I had been invited by the Alabama Freethought Association to talk about conspiracy theories. About 20 people showed up, and Lake Hypatia seems to be a sort of Mecca for southern atheists.

Speaking of Mecca, when we got there, an hour early (stupid time change), in one of the sitting areas on the lovely campus, we found a Koran under the bench. We pointed it out when our hosts arrived, and they brought it inside because someone might think that leaving it outside would be a desecration. That’s class, people. Learn from them.

Onto the week that was weak!

Conspiracy Theory of the Week:

That’s all for now, m’laddies. I’ve got lots more, but not a lot of time at the moment. So, keep your eyes open for more from this week in next week’s edition.

RJB


Medieval Homeopathy: Holy Blood, Wholly Water

November 22, 2011

Ronald C. Finucane was a professor of medieval history and chairman of the Department of History at Oakland University in Rochester, Minnesota. A couple of his works may hold interest for skeptics, particularly his book Ghosts: Appearances of the Dead and Cultural Transformation (originally published as Appearances of the Dead: A Cultural History of Ghosts), which traces the way accounts of ghosts changed as society and religious beliefs changed.

In another book, Miracles and Pilgrims: Popular Beliefs in Medieval England, Finucane discusses several twelfth-century pilgrimage shrines known for their healing miracles. While his primary purpose is “to find out how medieval people interacted with their spiritual heroes, the saints” and to “look at the conditions of medieval life which reinforced this faith in wonder-working saints, and made them so important to the people who lived and died so many centuries ago” (p. 14), Finucane also notes that

perhaps the information provided by medieval curative cults may appeal to those interested in modern “faith-healing” and other alternative therapies in both the West and the East. Some findings may elucidate the behaviour of pilgrims at shrines which still play an important part in the lives of many people…. (p. 14)

Indeed, a number of Fincucane’s observations would be of interest to skeptics and those convinced of the efficacy of “alternative healing.” He notes, for instance, that some of the ailments “cured” by saints’ relics may have resolved on their own or were likely of a waxing and waning nature. Even “blindness” (which was not necessarily total) can be affected by diet and therefore by growing cycles. Some cures were partial; some were temporary. Many, if not most, were non-spontaneous. That is to say, the sufferers often weren’t instantaneously cured at the shrine. Instead, sometime after they returned home, they started feeling better. He also notes that psychological factors had a great effect on the apparent cures.

Finucane also discusses something that sounds suspiciously like the medieval equivalent of homeopathy:

A widely-used healing substance was water which had absorbed the virtues of a relic, for example by washing a saint’s corpse. (p. 89)

“Take two sips of corpse-wash and call me in the morning.” Canterbury Cathedral had something even better than Essence of Dirty Cadaver: they had the blood of Thomas à Becket, England’s most famous martyr.

One of the most common agents of cure among Becket’s followers was water containing–in theory–a tincture of the blood shed at his martyrdom (constantly diluted ever since to make up supplies to sell to pilgrims). (pp. 89-90)

Note the word “sell.”

Of course, it’s not really homeopathy: there is no question of “like curing like,” but there is a sense of “water memory.” Water that had come into contact with water that had come into contact with water that had come into contact (etc.) with Becket’s blood retained the healing properties of Becket’s blood, even if no blood remained. The explanation for why the water would remain efficacious was different in the Middle Ages. Proponents of homeopathy use pseudo-science to explain why their magic water is magic. Medieval proponents of cure-by-saint didn’t have a problem with the idea that the water was miraculous: that was pretty much the point, after all. Finucane explains how it worked:

Relics…emitted a kind of holy radioactivity which bombarded everything in the area, and as early as the sixth century it was believed that objects placed next to them would absorb some of their power and become heavier. They affected oil in lamps which burned above them, cloths placed nearby, water or wine which washed them, dust which settled on them, fragments of the tomb which enclosed them, gems or rings which touched them, the entire church which surrounded them, and of course the hopeful suppliants who approached to kiss, touch, pray before and gaze upon them. (p. 26)

And, yes, grave dust mixed with water also had curative properties. Sometimes the miracle substance got diluted even further:

Metal phials or ampullae of “Becket water” or “Canterbury water” became the symbol of the archbishop…. These ampoules, often worn round the neck, could be re-used…. (p. 90)

In some cases, pilgrims brought the phials back to their parish church, where they were hung from the ceiling,

to be taken down and rushed to the dying or ill as needed. One twelfth-century rural pastor [followed this practice]. Some of them he thought less full than they ought to have been, no doubt because of evaporation, so he poured out what was left of all of them into a basin, added “ordinary” holy water from the church supply, refilled them, and then hung them up out of reach. No one would know the difference anyway. (pp. 157-158)

True enough. From the point of view of medieval believers, it probably wouldn’t matter that the priest had tampered with the water in the phials. The nature of the relic’s “holy radioactivity” was such that it didn’t matter if the blood was diluted beyond Avogadro’s number. The miraculous powers of the saint (or God working through the saint) could transcend mere physics. Not so with homeopathy. For most people, “well, it’s magic” is no longer a good enough explanation, so homeopaths have to try to come up with sciencey-sounding explanations for why scientific laws don’t apply to their magic potions. These explanations often appeal to quantum physics. “Quantum:” it’s the new “abracadabra.”

By the way, you will be pleased to know that skeptics interfered with the workings of magic even in the Middle Ages:

While Hugh of Lincoln’s corpse was being embalmed…, his biographer Adam inspected the holy intestines and claimed that they were exceptionally clean–a miracle. He querulously added that certain bystanders, who “made light of the miracle,” replied that the physical condition of the body was due as much to Hugh’s dysentery and his pious abstinence as to any miracle. (pp. 50-51)

ES


This Week in Conspiracy (13 Nov 2011)

November 13, 2011

Well, I’ve done it again. I spent another week in the trenches, occasionally poking my head over the parapet, and taunting the forces of conspiracy theory.

Bob

On with the pain!

Twit of the Week:

It was that crazy-haired spray-on tan nutjobby from Ancient Aliens, after the whole premise of the modern History Channel was lampooned on South Park:

Tsoukalos: Good. Let them. Deep down they know (!) we’re on the right track… No worries. RT @kuhnlevel u inspire me but my history profs hate u! lol

Original Tweet: http://twitter.com/Tsoukalos/status/134686039854948352

Conspiracy Theory of the Week

That’s it folks. Keep it crazy. I’m off next week to do some field work on Saturday, and then I’ll be going to Alabama to give a talk about conspiracy theories to a group of freethinkers there. Yay!

(Did you notice that Anonymous completely dropped off the map this week? It’s now known as Ignominious!)

RJB