This Week in Conspiracy (7/10/2011)

July 11, 2011

I feel like the weekend was not been as long as had been promised. I have a feeling that “They” are responsible. Stupid “Them.”

On with the week in conspiracy:

  • William Cooper was…so mentally ill it’s still unbelievable. Dealey Plaza is an outdoor Masonic pagan temple.
  • It was the anniversary of 7/7 this week. Conspiracies about the event abound.
  • Nibaru, the storm on Saturn and…the Beatles.
  • Above Top Secret stunned, STUNNED, to find that they might have some antisemites posting there. Why would anyone think that when you turn this obvious fact into: “Isreali plot against ATS”?
  • There has been a lot of talk about Comet Elenin lately. Some suspect it is responsible for earthquakes, for instance, a claim so untamably bonkers that I have little tiny strokes every time I hear it.
  • Another person posited that Comet Elenin was under intelligent control. The last time a similar conspiracy theory went out, the Heaven’s Gate people committed suicide.
  • Oh wait. I take it back: “SCREW ELENIN! Look at the Honda comet! It will impact us DIRECTLY!
  • Why haven’t I heard of these meteoric threats before? Oh, right: “Military Hush-Up: Incoming Space Rocks Now Classified.”
  • SHUT UP, STUPID MAYANS! It’s the Inuit we should have been listening to! It’s apparently breaking news to the Inuit that the earth is tilting on its axis. Runaway!
  • A strange tendency runs through conspiracy theories. I’ve noticed that many people HATE America so much (and I don’t mean that in the cynical sense that W. used it–they live in bizarro world and hate it) that they will uncritically look kindly on someone–any monster or tyrant (the irony)–who is subject to sanctions, for whatever reason. Take the current NATO excursion in Libya. They think it’s possible–or necessary–to frame Gaddafi. The man attacked protesters with planes, and that’s not in doubt. There’s something about these conspiracies that makes people embrace what they despise–genuine tyrants. So much fail.
  • An example of the above tendency is Russia Today, which is a propaganda mouthpiece of the Russian state–it is not considered legit by other news organizations. They really do just blast America constantly. Vigilant Citizen is a site I’ve mentioned here before. The author is what Dave Mabus would be as an art critic. He spends most of his life looking for pictures of people showing one eye and then says that they are in the service of the Illuminati.

Satanic Illuminati mind-control or spazz? You make the call.

Anyway Vigilant Citizen says the Republicans are Satanic. As tempting as that hypothesis is, as someone who does not do the whole religion thing, I am forced to hold Republicans responsible for their own decisions, not Satan. But VC’s source is Russia Today, people who actually do manipulate stories! (facepalm)

SUMMARY:
Committee on Homeland Security Serial No. 110-83. Hearing before the Subcom on Intelligence, Information Sharing, and Terrorism Risk Assessment to examine Internet use by Islamic terrorist groups to spread radical and extremist ideology and to recruit new members in the U.S.

The entire text of the testimony happens to be available, and so I go to the testimony. On 6 November 2007, Mark Weitzman Director of the Task Force Against Hate at the Simon Wiesenthal Center said exactly NOTHING ABOUT ARCHITECTS AND ENGINEERS FOR 9/11 TRUTH, YOU ANTISEMITIC PUKE! Here’s a screen capture of me searching for the word “architect” anywhere in the testimony and coming up with zero hits:

Click to embiggen.

I look forward to the retraction and the satisfaction of having helped disabuse people of unfounded fears. You’re welcome.

The Week’s Best Headline:
Top Lunatic Filk of the Week:
Quote of the Week:
  • “If a person says 2+2=4 they are a conspiracy theorists. Thinking is now heresy.” Alex Jones, suddenly surprisingly orthodox. Alex, you say 2+2 = HOLY SHIT DRAGONS ARE ATTACKING! (w/ props to Eve)
RJB

TAM Happens in Vegas, But I Won’t Leave It There

July 10, 2011

This week I’ll be attending The Amaz!ng Meeting 9 (TAM9) in Las Vegas, Nevada. TAM9 is the annual conference of The James Randi Educational Foundation (JREF) that brings together skeptics and critical thinkers for several days of talks, panels and myriad activities. Each year TAM gets bigger and bigger whilst expanding content, diversity and attendance.

This year’s schedule contains two keynote addresses that are open to the general public. The first is given by Neil deGrasse Tyson, host of Nova ScienceNow and director of the Hayden Planetarium at the American Museum of Natural History. Dr. Tyson brings a passion for astrophysics and a strong, persuasive message of the necessity for science education and communication to the general public. The second keynote is Richard Dawkins, evolutionary biologist, prolific bestselling author and director of the Richard Dawkins Foundation. Dawkins is a foremost speaker on the importance of evidence-based thought in science and public life. He has the distinction of being perhaps the world’s best known public atheist.

The rest of the TAM9 schedule is the most varied and diverse yet. Included are artists, poets, scientists, activists, journalists and television personalities. The full schedule is here. The program covers immense ground in critical thinking, from Phil Plait to Jennifer Michael Hecht to Carol Tavris to Sarah Mayhew to Bill Nye to Adam Savage to Elizabeth Loftus to Skepchick bloggers to the hosts of MonsterTalk, and many, many more. The schedule is full and appeals to a wide variety of skeptics, not just serious scientists and intense science enthusiasts. This program emphasizes critical thinking for people across disciplines.

Beyond the official TAM program, there’s a full slate of fringe events which emphasize the diversity that TAM represents this year. Side trips are planned to Red Rocks and the Grand Canyon as well as daredevil activities. There are meetups for myriad subgroups, including various nationalities, vegetarians, LGBT folks and others. The most notorious of the unofficial events is Penn Jillette’s Bacon and Donut Party, which is a fundraiser for JREF.

The diversity of the official and non-official schedules of TAM9 elucidates the changing face of skepticism. No longer are cries of the skeptical movement as a bastion of privileged white men accurate or productive. This year’s Amaz!ng Meeting holds promise to be one that moves beyond talk of inclusion into one of outreach.

TAM9 will be held at the South Point Hotel, Casino and Spa from July 14-17. I will be posting daily blog updates from Las Vegas throughout the conference. If you have any particular questions for interviewees or issues you’d like me to address, please leave me a comment here or through Twitter.

This entry is cross-posted at SheThought.

JMG


I’m not going to TAM, but I’m going to have fun anyway!

July 10, 2011

While I can’t attend the skeptical hajj (which every skeptic must attend at least once in their life!), Eve is taking me to see Tim Minchin, who is performing in Atlanta during TAMapalooza. Tim will be playing at Center Stage Atlanta, the 1100 seat theater where TruthCon was held.  In celebration of the event, I am going to post the first version of “Storm” that I encountered. (You’ll have to visit his channel to see the excellent version that was released this year.) The narrator of Storm would have locked Center Stage’s doors from the outside and set the place on fire, laughing and sobbing all the way.

RJB


Housekeeping…

July 3, 2011

Trolls who post under several names get banned. No questions, no appeals.

RJB


This Week in Conspiracy (3 July 2011)

July 2, 2011

I’ve been a little busy recently, by which I mean really a whole lot busy and how. Hey, serving the New World Order isn’t easy! You try it!

Best headline of the Week:

“Richard Gage Talk at Royal Institute of British Architects Ignites Firestorm“: Royal Institute of British Architects collapses symmetrically into its own footprint at free-fall speed. Thermite suspected.

Before It’s News invents a flag for a state called “Jew England.”

At ATS, “A Test to Show You Have a Weak Mind.” You pass (that is, fail) it by writing the test.

Conspiracist cult leader may face fine in Australia. I like Australia.

Conspiracy theorists often fear technology. Canada Free Press apparently thinks a “smart grid” is “SkyNet.”

The Truth movement vastly overestimates its importance: “Mankind’s future is dependent on our understanding that 9/11 was a false flag event committed by a small faction of criminal traitors who control the governments of America, Israel, and England.”

Conspiracy theories kill: South Africans who believe AIDS was engineered less likely to use condoms.

Here’s a new one. Anthony Weiner secretly converted to Islam. Tweets dick-pics. From Salon.

David Aaronovich was at the London Richard Gage event (or at least for a stop on it) and met an old friend.

Post hoc, ergo propter hoc fallacy redefined. Just because the federal government offers to buy (repeatedly) flooded land does not mean that they flooded it in order to get it cheap. You ass.

You know, I have found a lot of antisemitism in the 9/11 Truth community lately. I wasn’t expecting that. Perhaps as the movement has waned only the really fantasy prone have stuck with it?

FLIR images used to debunk 9/11 commission and NIST, detect ghosts.

Jon Stewart calls out conspiracy mongering on FOX. Because it’s hard?

O NOES! TSA screeners are getting cancer from the naked body scans. Implausible on so many levels including the fact it is impossible to establish this type of causality without a controlled study.

30,000 barrels of plutonium on the wall, 30,000 barrels of plutonium…a false flag nuclear operation?

Dean Haglund’s The Truth Is Out There has premiered.

Is George Soros stacking the courts? By explicitly encouraging lawyers to be able to pick judges based on merit? Explain how that works again.

UPDATE! AAAAAAAH NONONO! This is an old version of this post! The one I spent my evening typing up is gone! GONE! So, you will have to settle. However, if you come up with any good theories, please feel free to post them in the comments. Damn it.

RJB


Eve’s Skepticamp Presentation: The Mythical Origins of Dirty Words

July 2, 2011

Me again.

A few weekends ago, Eve delivered a talk at Skepticamp Atlanta about cunts, shit, fucking, and shit-fucking cunts.

The Mythical Origins of Naughty Words from Atlanta Skeptics on Vimeo.

Not safe for work. Though it is completely appropriate if your work is a daycare or a church or if you are at a McDonalds.

RJB


Here’s a ripe little slice of hell from the Atlantic

July 2, 2011

It’s called, “The Triumph of New Age Medicine,” and it makes my blood boil. There’s a lot of hippy bullshit at the bottom of the page as well as some biting comments from skeptics. Some ding-dong in the comments actually suggests that doctors should not be licensed! And these people vote.

Enjoy, if you are able.

RJB


I was on the radio…

July 1, 2011

See? Me at a radio station.

I wasn’t sure where the conversation was going to end up exactly, but we ended up talking about pseudoscience and research fakery. If you want to hear it, the show was Lost in the Stacks. You can go to that page and click on the play button under the show to hear the interview.

We talked a little about conspiracy theories and I SLAMMMMMMM the 9/11 Truthers. (Just kidding….or am I?)

The audio will be available for a week only. They play copyrighted music on the show, so they can’t make it available indefinitely.

RJB


I’m going to be on the radio tomorrow…

June 30, 2011

I’m going to be on the show “Lost in the Stacks” on WREK radio, 91.1 in Atlanta. I think that I will be on at noon, or during the noon hour, for a 15-minute interview about information ethics and (probably) conspiracy theories. I need to see how the interviews ahead of me pan out before I start shooting off my talker, since I’m not exactly sure how they are defining the issue of “information ethics.” But what the hell? I’m game for anything.

RJB


The Good Cat Spell Book Reviewed by a Cat (with pictures of cats!)

June 30, 2011

Oh hai. I iz Jesse, also known as Dr. Whitey-Cat, a very educated cat and new contributor to this thingy. Not only does I haz doctorate, I iz expert on homeopafee and iz member of teh Illuminati. I tellz you about dat later, if you iz good. I am here to appeal to the underrepresented skeptical feline demographic.

I haz sleeped on many grate books. I speshully liek Shakespeare and Chaucer. Dey iz just teh right size. I haz also sleeped on/rubbed against some very silly books. Recently I came across dis:

The Good Cat Spell Book by Gillian Kemp. I am sure she is very nice witch what loves her kittehs, but I fink she got into some bad catnip. Do ergot grow on ‘nip? Teh hole book is based on a faulty premise: cats iz magic, and by using dem in you spellz, you can harness der magic. See, cats IZ magic, but our magic iz a sooper seekrit. You no can haz our magic. You iznt magic. Also, she think you can find out stuff and do stuff using a kitteh, but here’s teh ting: we no care if you want to get you freak on wiff teh UPS guy. We lieks our hoomins; maybe we even wubs dem (maybe), but if it don’t affect us, we don’t care. Also, spellz to bond wif you cat? You no need spellz for dat; you need fish. Dats real magic!

Cats are believed to possess the power to bewitch people. (p. 1)

Yup.

But people can bewitch cats, too. (p. 1)

lol

A familiar is an animal companion who helps his person in their magical work. Your cat is your familiar because the pair of you loves each other. (p. 1)

If your cat haz speshul magic powrz, shouldn’t you be your cat’s familiar? Just sayin’. We iz NOT no one’s familiars.

As your familiar, bound to you by enduring love, your cat delivers your wishes. (p. 1)

Holy crap, I tink maybe I iz Teh Secret! But yes, we will fulfill your wishes if you wish to feed us, pet us, play with us, entertain us, do whatever we want, or get bited.

You and your cat’s patience and respect for each other will release and channel magic. (p. 1)

Yes, as a speesheez, cats iz known for our patience (I haz a sarcazm).

Cats of either sex symbolize the abundant, maternal essence we call upon for help. (p. 2)

???!!!11!!?? Look, lady, I may not haz any harbls (cuz teh ebil vet Dr. Mengele stoled dem when I was little itteh bitteh kitteh), but I iz sooper butch apex predator, and don’t you forget it! Don’t make me mount you (srsly, cuz I don’t want to make crazy kittens).

Cats’ eyes represent the clairvoyant eyes of inner intuition through which we see the truth to discover ourselves and our place in the world. (p. 2)

Inner intuition is way better than outer intuition.

If you look into their eyes you will see the true, clear sight of omniscience, the seed of divine knowing. (p. 2)

True. You may also see eye boogers, but don’t touch em: dey is omniscient eye boogers.

…[Y]ou can invoke the power of [Egyptian cat goddess] Bast to help protect your familiar from harm and to bring your cat a long and happy, healthy life in your care. (p. 2)

Oh, good. Go for it.

For thousands of years…the things [cats] have discarded from their own bodies have been used for magic. For some spells, you’ll need whiskers, milk teeth, fur, and claws that your cat has shed. Store them in a small “cat magic” trinket box until you require them for sorcery. (p. 3)

I already haz a “cat magic” box where I stores things I haz discarded from my own body. Help yourself.

Your familiar may be trying to tell you something through his behaviour, giving you clues you can follow to enhance your magic. (p. 3)

I AM trying to tell you sumfing: feed me, pet me, rub my belly, play wif me. When I perch on my food bin and howl in Siamese? A sooper subtile clue dat I has a hungry. I don’t give a hairball for your magic.

When your cat is lazing in a sunbeam, he may be trying…to tell you something or someone sunny is about to enter your life, to bring light and happiness to you. (p. 4)

Wow. Look, I iz a cat. I likes warm and I likes naps. Get your own sunbeam!

[Your cat’s behavior tells you what to wish for:] Wish it if you want it. (p. 4)

See, I am Teh Secret!

She den gives some false eteemologees of  “puss” (no is Egyptian) and “cautious” (no is related to “cattus”) and starts bibbling about the Egyptians:

Egyptian figures and paintings of the period show cats wearing earrings and jeweled collars, and thousands of mummified cats have been found in tombs and buried along the Nile. (p. 7)

Look, de Egyptians were great. Glad we domesticated dem. Did you know the pyramids was designed by cats, not aliens? Dey is artistic representations of the piles we make in our litter boxes. We didn’t bild teh pyramids, though. Phew, what a lotta work. But the Egyptians were teh original crazy cat ladies: see, we don’t like earrings; most of us don’t liek collars; and we HATE being sacrificed.

…[S]ince white cats often have one eye a different color from the other, they always have been considered magical and more capable than any other cat to predict good fortune. (p.10)

When I lived in a “foster home” wiff 200 cats (crazy cat lady), I knowed a Angora wif one green eye and one blue eye. He wasn’t dat speshul.

If your familiar is a white cat, it is believed you will have exceedingly good fortune your whole long life. Within twelve months after you acquire your white cat, someone in your close family will marry. (p. 10)

Nope. Why I care if your awkward second cousin finally caught a man?

A deaf white cat with blue eyes is said to be especially psychic because her impeded hearing is directed inward to her inner ear, psychic centre. (p. 10)

You no know what a inner ear is, do you?

And blue-eyed cats of any color are said to be especially magical because like blue sky over nighttime darkness, they symbolize divine eternity and immortality. (p. 10)

And white, blue-eyed cats who hear good and meow in Siamese iz the most bestest and most magicalest of all. Dat isn’t “believed” or “thought” or “said.” It’s teh truth.

You will have a male visitor if your cat washes his face with his right paw over his right ear. If he washes his face and left ear with his left paw, expect a female visitor. (p. 16)

lol. Do you know how many tiems a day we washes our faces (bof sides)? You must live in Grand Central Station!

Dere is a bunch of spells for tings cats don’t care about. Most of dese involve your cat and lit candles and sometimes burning stuff. Iz I the only one dat tinks dis is maybe a safety hazard? Den dere is spells dat encourage you to put lipstick on your cat’s pawsie to take his pawprint. You put lipstick on my pawsie, you hole house be coverd in pawprinz–bloody pawprinz!

After teh spellz comes “Felinodamancy: Cat Divination.” Here’s a example:

Seat your cat on your lap, and tell your familiar that you wish him to divine your future by answering a question…. Ask your familiar to respond by blinking once if the answer…is yes, twice for no. Alternatively, ask your familiar to purr an odd number of times for yes and an even number of times for no. (p. 62)

First, yu know how long we can go wifout blinking? Also, dats not how purring works. We purrz, den we go sleep. We don’t go “purr, no purr, purr, no purr, purr, no purr.” Unless you pet kitteh, he purrs; you stop pet, he stop; you pet kitteh, he purrs, etc. But den, you control how many tiems kitteh purrs and dats cheating.

To find out if you get wut you want, yu put treats in food bowl, den counts how many treats is left saying “I will get what I want” and “I will not get what I want” until “the last line spoken with the last treat gives you your answer.” I no care how many treats you put in my bowl, you will never get an answer. I leave no treats behind. I encourage yu to try though.

Dere iz a sekshun on reading your cat’s aura. I can see in teh dark; i no see no auras.

Den dere iz cat astrology.

If you have no idea of your cat’s day of birth, reading the following descriptions will help you determine whether your cat is ruled by an Air, Fire, Water, or Earth Sign, which in turn will help you deduce which is your cat’s most probable birth sign. (p. 75)

Dat seem kinda circular, but OK, we no know when my friend Gavin was borned.

But we fink maybe his sign is “Derp.” Anyways, we looked frough the descriptions and he fit every element and every sign and also he no fit every element and every sign. Weird. Dere is some real specific stuff though, like “Taurean cats have thick necks, a solid stature, and a particularly furry tuft between their ears” (p. 82). So, liek, no Siameses or Abyssinianses was born between April 20 and May 20?

In short, I give Teh Good Cat Spell Book dew claws down. I give it 2 whiskers (on a scale of alots of whiskers) because she lieks cats, but she no understand us. Here, haz some moar magic:

Stackable kittehs iz stackable

A stackable kitteh

Mysterious cat iz mysterious

Slightly out-of-focus cat is slightly out-of-focus