This Week in Conspiracy (7/10/2011)

I feel like the weekend was not been as long as had been promised. I have a feeling that “They” are responsible. Stupid “Them.”

On with the week in conspiracy:

  • William Cooper was…so mentally ill it’s still unbelievable. Dealey Plaza is an outdoor Masonic pagan temple.
  • It was the anniversary of 7/7 this week. Conspiracies about the event abound.
  • Nibaru, the storm on Saturn and…the Beatles.
  • Above Top Secret stunned, STUNNED, to find that they might have some antisemites posting there. Why would anyone think that when you turn this obvious fact into: “Isreali plot against ATS”?
  • There has been a lot of talk about Comet Elenin lately. Some suspect it is responsible for earthquakes, for instance, a claim so untamably bonkers that I have little tiny strokes every time I hear it.
  • Another person posited that Comet Elenin was under intelligent control. The last time a similar conspiracy theory went out, the Heaven’s Gate people committed suicide.
  • Oh wait. I take it back: “SCREW ELENIN! Look at the Honda comet! It will impact us DIRECTLY!
  • Why haven’t I heard of these meteoric threats before? Oh, right: “Military Hush-Up: Incoming Space Rocks Now Classified.”
  • SHUT UP, STUPID MAYANS! It’s the Inuit we should have been listening to! It’s apparently breaking news to the Inuit that the earth is tilting on its axis. Runaway!
  • A strange tendency runs through conspiracy theories. I’ve noticed that many people HATE America so much (and I don’t mean that in the cynical sense that W. used it–they live in bizarro world and hate it) that they will uncritically look kindly on someone–any monster or tyrant (the irony)–who is subject to sanctions, for whatever reason. Take the current NATO excursion in Libya. They think it’s possible–or necessary–to frame Gaddafi. The man attacked protesters with planes, and that’s not in doubt. There’s something about these conspiracies that makes people embrace what they despise–genuine tyrants. So much fail.
  • An example of the above tendency is Russia Today, which is a propaganda mouthpiece of the Russian state–it is not considered legit by other news organizations. They really do just blast America constantly. Vigilant Citizen is a site I’ve mentioned here before. The author is what Dave Mabus would be as an art critic. He spends most of his life looking for pictures of people showing one eye and then says that they are in the service of the Illuminati.

Satanic Illuminati mind-control or spazz? You make the call.

Anyway Vigilant Citizen says the Republicans are Satanic. As tempting as that hypothesis is, as someone who does not do the whole religion thing, I am forced to hold Republicans responsible for their own decisions, not Satan. But VC’s source is Russia Today, people who actually do manipulate stories! (facepalm)

Committee on Homeland Security Serial No. 110-83. Hearing before the Subcom on Intelligence, Information Sharing, and Terrorism Risk Assessment to examine Internet use by Islamic terrorist groups to spread radical and extremist ideology and to recruit new members in the U.S.

The entire text of the testimony happens to be available, and so I go to the testimony. On 6 November 2007, Mark Weitzman Director of the Task Force Against Hate at the Simon Wiesenthal Center said exactly NOTHING ABOUT ARCHITECTS AND ENGINEERS FOR 9/11 TRUTH, YOU ANTISEMITIC PUKE! Here’s a screen capture of me searching for the word “architect” anywhere in the testimony and coming up with zero hits:

Click to embiggen.

I look forward to the retraction and the satisfaction of having helped disabuse people of unfounded fears. You’re welcome.

The Week’s Best Headline:
Top Lunatic Filk of the Week:
Quote of the Week:
  • “If a person says 2+2=4 they are a conspiracy theorists. Thinking is now heresy.” Alex Jones, suddenly surprisingly orthodox. Alex, you say 2+2 = HOLY SHIT DRAGONS ARE ATTACKING! (w/ props to Eve)

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