The Week in Conspiracy 6 March 2011

March 6, 2011

This week saw the beginning of the end. It’s all coming together now. If you can believe it, it’s even more sensational than the previous week, which I misidentified as the climax of history. That’s this current week. Yes. For sure this time. I know this because it was announced on Twitter that today, March 6, is the beginning of the world uprising.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week:

I’m not enamored with the judgment of The View’s producers putting Alex Jones on, so I am going to air an oldie but goodie, Alex Jones getting slapped around by…some guy:

RJB


Dr. Hovind, Meet Dr. Whitey-Cat

March 3, 2011

It’s a happy day here at Skeptical Humanities. You see, my cat Jesse has received his doctorate from the prestigious Thunderwood College.

Jesse’s qualifications were so impressive that Thunderwood gave him the degree without even requesting that he write a dissertation. Jesse, being a conscientious cat, decided to produce one anyway:

Thunderwood College

Dissertashun for Doktor of Sciences In Baraminology

A Project Submitted to Chancellor Brian Dunning

Baraminology: Catkind is teh Best Kind And It’s All Kind of Crap

Submitted by Jesse in Parshul Fulfillment of Stuff

February 27, 2011

Dedicashun

i dedicate dis diss to me. O, and also Ceiling Cat i guess.

Acknowledgings

i wish to thank absolutely no one. No one helpded me. i did it all maiself. Tho I did get the inspirations from kent hovind. If he can haz doctorate, I can haz doctorate pls. kthxbai.

Introduckshun

Oh hai, i iz Jesse. I iz a kitteh evangelist. I live in mai house. I haz bin teeching kitteh wisdom to mai kitteh frends Mina an Gavin (aka teh stripey bastard) for a long time. As a evangelist, Ceiling Cat lieks me best an dont even mind wen I makes the misplaced modifiers.

Teh baraminses or kindses iz used to splain how so many critters cud fit on a boat. See, dere waznt a dog an a fox an a wolf an a poodul an a shitzu. Der waz just 2 goggies representing goggy-kind (or maybe it waz 7 or maybe 14). Which is 2 or 7 or 14 too mani.

Teh kitteh-kind eated most of teh udder kinds. Dats y u don’t see mouses or burds or skwirlz or gazelles or deers anymoar.

Table of Contentedness

Dedicashun, Acknowledgings & Introduckshun………………………………………..i

Teh Kitteh Baramin……………………………………………………………………………..1

Teh Udder Baraminses……………………………………………………………………..250

Bibbleleografy…………………………………………………………………………………251

Bibbleleografy

Teh Bibul.

Ceiling Cat. Personal interview.

Then he got tired and decided to take a nap in a box that is too small for him.

I’m sure he’ll get around to the rest of it eventually.

ES


Why do liberal-fascist academic elites want to homosexually abort your children’s minds with drugs?

March 1, 2011

Well, perhaps they really don’t.

Notice this picture is on the left.

At some point between the 1950s and 1960s (1:13AM on Tuesday, July 12, 1963, to be exact), the idea of the “egghead” academic developed into the “commmie-red pothead” character. A brief article from the Washington Post indicates that the real state of academia challenges the facile caricature of university and college teachers.

RJB (Solidarity, comrades!)


Somewhere, a president of the Catholic League is having a stroke…

March 1, 2011

Who said that the humanities are dull? Do chemical engineers stage orgies? (OK, I’m sure some do, but do they get tenure because of it? OK, again…)

Russian performance art crosses many lines.

RJB