This Week in Conspiracy (15 Dec 2012)

Goodeveninggoodeveninggoodeveninggoodeveninggoodevening goodeveninggoodeveninggoodevening and welcome to another episode of the Week in Conspiracy. Ours is a friendly environment where I compile the latest in conspiracy theory from around the web.

Honestly, I thought that the big news of the roundup would be the Oregon mall shooting (remember that?), but of course we had a rotten day in the States a few weeks ago, and we see people trying to make sense of it all. A LOT of confused and misleading information came out as the events in Connecticut were unfolding, and these will be the primary sources of the inevitable future conspiracy theories. I anticipate that the theories will come in the usual popular two varieties:

1) The shooter was brainwashed. This plot device allows conspiracy theorists to blame their preferred villain instead of the person who pulled the trigger. In fact, this one has already come out in a weird way. No you have no idea how weird this is. Stay with me. OK, so, Paul McCartney at the Sandy Relief Concert opened his set with Nirvana with “Helter Skelter,” which was the trigger for the shooter at the Sandy Hook School. QED. Some have floated the idea the shooter’s meds caused this. (Do they not see the natural correlation between people who are messed up in the head and psychiatric care?)

2) It’s (another) gun grab ploy by Obama. Dear Lord, hurry up, Obama! (Turns out the President is afraid the gummint is coming for his guns too!)

Mark at the Denialism Blog puts Mike Adams and his ilk over his knee, because the Health Danger wrote this.   Shepard Ambellas, uh, thinks that weaponized nuns pulled off the job.  Rush Limbaugh plugged the tired “Fast and Furious” angle.

I think that the most widespread conspiracy theory to have emerged is that the Colorado theater shooting and the Newtown massacre are somehow related to a financial scandal, and like a classic conspiracy theory, it relies on 1) superficial similarities between events and 2) arcane and irrelevant knowledge blown way out of proportion. But we’re also seeing a couple of anti-Israel conspiracy theories linked to this. Then there is this…odd timeline.


I think that if there were 3 Suns nearby, they would most likely be visible in other places too, and not just in China. (And that’s excluding the fact that we all be dead already.)

Secret documents (freely given) reveal that the vaccine denialist was never just a crazy person and was actually right all along, says denialist.

  • Merle Haggard is slipping. Here’s his anti-scary chemtrails anthem:

This Week in Mark Dice is a Horrible Person:

I stopped following him. He’s a pointless ass-clown.

Best Facebook update about the Sandy Hook shootings:

As much as I love a good conspiracy theory I please please ask my fellow conspiracy theorist friends to stop making yesterdays event into one! I beg of you !!!! I don’t wanna hear it really I don’t !!!!

Twit of the Week:

A level headed analysis of world events or hashtag abuse?

Shameless Smurf™ (@pansgrrl12/21/12, 6:08 PM Now the tyrants say “Let them eat genetically modified corn!” #Agenda21 #BilderbergGroup #NDAA #Monsanto #Corruption #GMO #Chemtrails

This one came from my other work, the Burzynski stuff. It just fell out of heaven, so I had to post it:

Jennifer @MadameBourdier @rjblaskiewicz @Malboury Anyway, the USA stole the A-bomb patent. France should steal back the cure for cancer. #Burzynski

Conspiracy theory of the Week:

  • William Tapley, the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse and the Co-Prophet of the End Times, continues to deconstruct “Gangnam Style”:

That’s all for now. I hope that we meet under happier circumstances next time.


2 Responses to This Week in Conspiracy (15 Dec 2012)

  1. There’s a third variety of conspiracy theory I think you’ve overlooked: the “Other Shooter” variety (which happened with respect to the Colorado shootings and arguably is a common trope in many JFK theories):

  2. Bob says:

    You are absolutely right, Matthew. I’ve come across a couple of theorists who basically say, “Well, we know it’s never just one shooter, so let’s figure out what really happened.” 🙂 Good call!

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