Skeptical Humanities

You know, this torrent of goof is unforgiving and never lets up. Week after week I do this, and I honestly don’t expect anything at all (I’m not playing to the crowd or begging for attention or pity or anything). But it wears on you. In the past I have taken breaks, and I’m getting close right now, but for now, I feel compelled to slam my head into this ice cold bucket of surrealism once again and get my conspiracy on.

• So, David Duke authors a vid, “Zionist Terrorism in Norway.” The author sounds surprised that people might be offended by anything David Duke says. The comments are a nightmare, but nowhere nearly as bad as Dave’s hair:

• This week the wackosphere has been positively besotted with the misguided notion that a staged alien attack is around the corner. Or as Alex Jones put it: “Pay your carbon taxes to Al Gore or space aliens will attack.” A thoughtful reply.

• Ron Paul and FEMA death camps. ‘Nuff said.
• Why is NASA hiding the impending doom of earth? You see, Earth is entering an “intersteller energy cloud” that is upsetting the sun….Do they say that neutrinos are mutating? Anyway, this despite the fact that energy is not a Star Trek alien that hovers out there in amorphous cloud form. Hold on…I think I discovered why NASA isn’t reporting it. It’s because they were busy trying to figure out why Mercury was destroyed.
• The Association for Research and Enlightenment (aren’t they out of Harvard?) claims that they have found a pre-Ice Age civilization off of the Bahamas. I saw that this group is associated with “psychic” and “medical intuitive” Edgar Cayce. Yikes! Also, I want a cult! Why can’t I have a cult?!
• The paranoid underground seems to think that the Super Congress assembled to work on the budget is a sort of secret government. Also, John Kerry is a member of the Illuminati. Thought you’d like to know.
• Wow. There are still birthers.
• Sigh. Surprise, surprise. Vigilant Citizen thinks that the 27 Club is not only real, but apparently evidence of cult sacrifice.
• Ah, Susan Lindauer, who was found mentally unfit to contribute to her own defense when she was brought up on spying charges, was in LA speaking to the appropriately acronymed WACLA (We Are Change LA). Two things: 1) What’s with the dogs playing poker? and 2) Did that guy use the word “critical thinking”?

• From Carl Zimmer: Death threats leveled at chronic fatigue researchers. “No one’s bombed a lab,” he says, but the same can’t be said for researchers in nanotechnology.
• Racism and Hobbit metaphors. Who do you think is the Dark Lord is in this Canada Free Press article?
• Vatican and NASA pairing up either to discuss alien life, disclose the truth about aliens, or build a stairway to heaven.
• Mike Adams has a man-crush on Alex Jones.
• NATO? No, it’s now ZATO–the Zionist Alliance for Total Occupation. Take this thoughtful comment, for instance: “ZATO is a murder machine based on a web of lies, for the sole purpose of profit at any cost. It is the military arm of ZOG. Kim Kardashian is a murder machine, fueled by the corporations who pimp her as an icon for successful existence. It’s a fitting irony that she has no talent at anything but this and that is enough for most.” Later on, aligning Jews with Satanism, it reeks of Christian Identity.
• “Wake up to the falsehood, man!” Someone, not North Korea this time, takes Onion as fact.
• Hey, this is classy. 9/11-brand memorial wine.
• It’s a cure for cancer. I’m not joking. It makes cancer not happen in the first place. It’s the philosopher’s stone of public health, and we have it now. It’s the height of evil, in my opinion, that Natural News would suggest that scientists are hiding cures for cancer and offering instead, what, bran flakes and homeopathic grass clippings or whatever instead. Here’s something about Rick Perry.
• Here’s a good one. “World Government assaulting children with vaccines.” The guy calls himself doctor, but it’s an OMD: Doctor of Oriental Medicine. AHAHA! For over the self-aggrandizing dishonest title, bucko. You haven’t earned it.
• Are chemtrails related to today’s earthquake? HMMM?
• I think that Richard Gage has woken up and smelled the money. He’s looking to raise $1,000,000 for an ad campaign.
• Someone put one of my online handles up as an Israeli shill on /reddit.
• Here’s a party you don’t want to attend: “Dimitri The Lover, manager of The Scumballys, will address the crowd with his thoughts on 9-11, the New World Order’s conspiracy to feminize men, and where the world is heading in the next few years.” Count me in Canada for that one, suckers!
• Pamela Geller, who was heavily cited in the Breivik manifesto, is an abominable abomination with extra abominosity.
• A kid in a basement pretends he’s Anonymous and declares a war on the New World Order.
• Bob Tuskin asks, “Was the Titanic an Inside Job?” Yes, the iceberg was hired by the White Star Line, Bob.
• When I say that conspiracy theorists can’t tell truth from fiction, I’m not speaking metaphorically, people. “Armageddon is real.” OHMYGOD! We actually have a black president now! Oh, wait. That was Deep Impact. Morgan Freedman playing..PRESIDENT BECK!
• Aw, it’s so cute. Someone is still scared of Freemasons.
• I bet that John McTernan is regretting that tattoo now.

That’s it for now, folks. Getting ready for DragonCon and other events. Also, classes have started again, and my conspiracy theory class is getting off to a good start. Very excited.

RJB

Welcome. This week, the 9/11 Truthers were proved right about everything. Everything. Except the stuff that they were talking about. And yet they are crowing about Richard Clarke’s speculation about any relationship between the CIA and 2 of the 9/11 hijackers, unsubstantiated by evidence by his own admission, as if it was vindication of some sort. He just has questions, and when the stakes are this high, questions are not enough.

So, let’s break this down. Clarke wonders why the names of 2 known al-Qaida members were not known to the White House until 9/11 itself. He speculates that the CIA was trying to “turn” them into spies, which would give them access to intelligence about al-Qaida. Even if that is true, it clearly didn’t work. The entire premise of Clarke’s speculation is that the CIA was unable to get them to work with them. Failure all around then.

• UK Ministry of Defence dumps another batch of UFO-related files.
• Where does it say in this VISA commercial that it is meant to be a literal rendering of the future?
• You know, if Anthony Keadis were a member of the Illuminati, you’d think he’d have someone write better lyrics. If you want a laugh, or possibly a cry, see the comments.

OK, I’m going to dwell on Vigilant Citizen for a minute because I see it every week, and it doesn’t get any less weird or any more reflective as time passes. Just more pictures of people covering one eye, triangles or pyramids, and robot-people. Also, he has discovered that some advertisers use sex to promote whatever they are promoting. (Jaw hits floor.) For all the hysterics over there, I just don’t get what all the occult symbolism is supposed to be for, other than for him to yell, “See! Triangle!” and his readers to go, “I am sooo disappointed in triangles.” The one-eye thing, apparently, is supposed to be Illuminati/Masonic. Therefore, every time that you see only one eye of a subject being photographed, the Illuminati is sending a secret message, “Hi! We’re the Illuminati. Or possibly Masons.” Maybe I’m just a sheeple (I guess the singular is sheeperson), but I just don’t get the why.

And another thing. VC has a whole “sex-kitten” thing. If there’s a woman in a cat suit or with cat-eye mascara, what? Looking at the OED, I’d say that the earliest use of “sex kitten” is around the early 1950s. (Their first entry is 1958, but as a precaution I usually extend the phrase back a bit to allow for unrecorded oral usage of a word or term.) The Illuminati is making a Hefnerian sexist visual pun? Really? Again, to what end? Yeah, sex sells records (VC is especially concerned with the music industry), but it also sells car polish and Q-tips. I really don’t understand the impulse behind the interpretations and premises of the behind the Vigilant Citizen website.

By the way, when I was looking at the compound words/phrases that have sex in them, my favorite was a “sex mosaic”. I thought it was something you found in Pompeii’s frisky frescoes, but no, it is “an individual having some cells that are genetically of one sex and the rest of the other sex.” You learn something new every day.

• Dr. Joe “Wubble” Mercola: “GM Yellow Rice a ‘Trojan Horse.’ “ Yes, it’s a way of smuggling Vitamin A into Troy, er, poor people.
• I always look forward to neo-Nazis getting pranked, and there was a good one this week.
• Aaron Dykes, the least charismatic presenter in the history of changing the channel, promises that the globalist extermination list is out, but then doesn’t give it up.
• Of course, over at Before It’s News, they said that recent raids on raw food clubs (which are violating federal health laws–yes, people who buy unprocessed milk are putting themselves and their kids at risk, whether they think they are or not) are part of the eugenic plan, presumably the same one that Aaron was talking about. Or another one. He didn’t mention unprocessed milk.
• Federal Jack and Mike Adams, two bad things that go worse together, named leaders of the “government terrorism” Rawesome Foods raid, that is, the people who were on the warrant. Yeah, terrorism has a different meaning where I live.
• As the people BIN freak out over the impending destruction of Earth by Comet Elenin (this is a pretty trippy video, also hilarious–also, I may have put it up last week), NASA scientist assures us that his “subcompact automobile exerts a greater influence on the ocean’s tides than comet Elenin ever will.” It’s called physics, buddy. Get some.
• For some reason, the Atlantean Brotherhood Cult (the “About Us” page misleadingly does not say “We’re nuts!”), which I’ve never heard of, has been switching babies in Hollywood: “Emma Watson is now known to secretly be the daughter of actors Brian Dennehy and Bonnie Bedelia.” This is just the craziest thing that I have seen all night.
• This is a close second, however:

• On Hiroshima Day (cla-aaaaasy), the Centre for Research on Globalization scrounged up “America’s Planned Nuclear Attack on Libya.” When this does not happen, will they grovel and apologize for being so utterly and catastrophically wrong? Or doubt themselves? At all?
• Are genetically modified crops killing the bees? Probably not.
• The FBI looks for crazy ideologues hording weapons and ammo. TheIntelHub objects.
• I love that Alex Jones thinks that Rick Perry is being groomed by the Bilderbergers to be the next president. He’s being groomed by the Jesuits, which is completely different.
• Here’s one that really seemed like a logical fallacy, but when Eve and I looked at it, it wasn’t exactly a non sequitor and it wasn’t exactly a false analogy:

When it comes to condemning theft, however many trainers, mobile phones and designer clothes have been stolen by the London rioters, they are petty crooks compared to the thievery that has BP, with the aid of the western powers, quite literally stealing control of Iraq’s most valuable resource: the oil which was the main motivation for the invasion in 2003.

We decided to christen this one a “false sequitor.”

• Hey! New a theory about bin Laden. Get this: Bin Laden was guarded by Pakistan in exchange for Saudi cash! What, where are you going? You know what, I’m not convinced that bin Laden was being housed by Pakistan. He was an enemy of Pakistan. He was smart enough to never use a phone and only communicate by trusted courier. He was clearly smart enough to STAY INSIDE. What do the people in the neighborhood who don’t believe that he was there think, that he would be outside mowing the lawn, waving and issuing death threats to the infidel children in the neighborhood?
• Speaking of 9/11, an international hearing on 9/11 will begin in Toronto in September. It will have all the respect and legal authority of a model UN session. From 911Truth.org.
• Townhall.com is coughing up their usual gobs of delightful anti-Muslim conspiracist wackloonery. And OneNewsNow is not far behind.
• From DontTreadonMe.com, “5 Reasons Why American Riots Will Be the Worst In the World.” “BECAUSE WE’RE NUMBER ONE, BABY! U-S-A! U-S-A!” Seriously, this is Silver Shield’s a love letter to America.
• The Onion on the rise of hate groups in the American Northwest.
• From Veterans Today. Jewish/Zionist 5th column responsible for riots. Not, you know, the rioters.
• Did David Mabus join the 911 Truth movement now that he can’t threaten atheists with death?
• Wow. I’m posting something from CNBC. And it mentioned Hofstadter. This will never happen again.
• Jews making Christians outlaws. From Al-Jazeerah.
• “Japanese Government Prepares to Flee Tokyo–Nothing To Do with Radiation?” No, and it has everything to do with that GIGANTIC CREATURE RISING FROM THE DEEP!

This week in Ron Paul:

Well, the first Republican debate was hosted ahead of the Iowa primary. Ron Paul was

Well, after the debate, I got this tweet from FederalJack:

FederalJack
HELP RON PAUL WIN THE FOXNEWS POLL ON THE DEBATE. LET THEM TRY TO COVER THIS ONE UP… foxnews.com/opinion/2011/0…
2 minutes ago

Then a little later:

FOXNEWS MADE A SECOND DEBATE POLL, VOTE FOR PAUL IN THIS ONE AS WELL.
topix.com/issue/fox/gop-…
1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Of course, FederalJack clearly illustrated why Paul will never win a national election:

FederalJack
Ron Paul: I Think The Feds Real Goal Is To Depreciate The Currency #RonPaul #RonPaul2012 #IowaStrawPoll
#GOP2012

The Ron Paul movement is getting too culty for comfort:

In related news, NPR the strange obsession with the gold standard that dogs the Paulite movement made national news as the price of gold went ever higher amid market concerns. And, honestly, the Planet Money reporter could only say, “Yeah, it makes no sense,” which is what I thought. Gold does not hold intrinsic value, like gold investors/merchants tell you. The fact that it is so high right now proves that it is valued like every other commodity, relative to other commodities. This, of course, is not what Dr. Mercola is saying. Yeah, apparently he gives out economic advice. What do you think the chances hare that he has gold interests?  The current gold craze is an American Tulip boom, and people who are scared now are buying high, which will bite them when the price plummets, leaving them even worse off than they are now. Of course, in the strange media landscapes I wander, gold is pushed by a huge number of advertisers. Alex Jones, Glenn Beck, all these conspiracy theorists are getting paid to push gold. Who do you think is going to come out ahead? Not the investors, that’s for sure.

But back to the primary, Michelle Bachmann, who came to prominence a few years ago when she suggested that there should be investigation into members of Congress for being un-American (at about the 9:30 mark), appalling, well, the world, won. She recently signed an anti-Sharia document (which, for some reason, went out of its way to mention that black families were more stable under slavery–?!?!?!), which takes as an object of fear the exact same thing that Anders Breivik was worried about when he went on his rampage a few weeks ago. Well, Ryan Lizza of the New Yorker looked into her beliefs as evidenced by her book recommendations and what she has said are the most influential books in her life. The reading list is scary (NPR interview with Lizza), people, and she just won Iowa. She cited Francis Schaeffer’s series, “How Should We Then Live?” (which deteriorated into screeds about how the government was dumping chemicals into the water supply) and David Noebel, whose bizarre take on the country’s history has become popular in homeschooling circles [I believe he was an advisor to the Texas school board’s history committee] , even though he penned a classic conspiracist tract that accuses the Beatles of being part of a communist plot to to exert mind-control over teens by using rhythmic beats. (It’s called, “Communism, Hypnotism, and the Beatles,” and I’ve taught it.) Brannon Howse’s Worldview Weekend republished something of Noebel’s this week: “National Association of Evangelicals Pro-Communist?” Really? She won Iowa? If she wins the whole thing, I’m Splitsville.

Oh, and Rick Perry is not inviting more level-headed people to the stage at his “The Response” prayer rally. Jonathan Kay notes that one of the invited speakers thinks that the Statue of Liberty is a Masonic/Illuminati symbol.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week:

Let’s end on a happy note: Michael Jackson announces his comeback performance. Yep.

There’s more, but that’s all I have in me.

RJB