I’ve been working on a special post that requires a little research on my part (hey, it’s MY vacation, I’ll spend it how I want), but I’ve still been collecting the conspiracies that have sloshed across my desk. In a bucket.
- Someone has out-Icked David Icke. Clearly, Icke is possessed by the devil.
- In related news, Glenn Beck visited the holy land, but did not experience a miraculous healing of whatever the hell is wrong with him.
- Ooh! A chapter of Kay’s Among the Truthers is out!
- And a NYT review of Among the Truthers.
- Also, Dean Haglund (one of the Lone Gunman) has a new documentary about conspiracy coming out.
- “AAAAAAHH! CLOUDS!!!!! “
- They are toxic Xenon clouds!
- Sorry, not toxic clouds. Radioactive clouds.
- Perhaps the clouds were made by NASA?
- Mike Adams, Public Health Danger, posits that FEMA will confiscate your food in an emergency. Drink in the crazy, people. Check out this unintentionally hilarious video about the swine flu conspiracy. Notice he says that that “the swine flu is back/like a viral attack”. Like? There’s no ‘like’ about it, mate!
- The new North American currency (Amero) of our Federal Reserve banker overlords is ready to go. Let me know if you ever, EVER encounter one. I don’t get it. You guys poop yourselves screaming “photoshop! photoshop!” when the birth certificate comes out but you take this at face value? Something’s broken.
- “Claim: Secret American Base Discovered on Moon” Evidence: Totally Unconvincing!
- Is Superman becoming an international jihadist Muslim?
- I’m not so interested in the globalist implications of Gingrich’s run, because, frankly I can name that delusion in 5 syllables. But look at the books being sold alongside the column. NewsWithViews is trying to scare the crap out of its audience.
- The Illuminati Royalty Program, in which the author thinks that the newlyweds actually have some sort of power. Interesting side-note, under the caption “royal programming since birth” they show the following images:
If you want to see how altered the images from Cinderella are, check this out. Note that the Harry or William or whatever’s jacket might not be as altered as the bright areas suggest, as red is saved differently by different programs.
- The truth movement extends its interests to Oklahoma City, for some reason.
- Also, We Are Change raises awareness of the uninstitutionalized mentally ill to the Federal Reserve Chairman:
- Views Without News posts rant by doctor. Not really newsworthy, even for me, but what caught my eye was the pull-quote at the top right (which is actually not in the article), which says, in red: “Everyone in Japan will possibly die from radiation poisoning. The people of Hokkaido, the northern island, may be spared because of different currents and winds.”
- Even I learn new words and phrases. Take for instance “global technofascist government.”
- A new take on a conspiracy classic: “Roswell was a Stalinist plot to scare Americans“
- Someone finally identified the New World Order: The Project for the New American Century, which was apparently conceived in subterranean bunkers.
- Explosives on the George Washington Bridge on 9/11, or why it is a bad idea to cite the media in the middle of an unexpected catastrophe.
- A third of Japan is uninhabitable.
- Lady Gaga, weirdo or Illuminati puppet?
- Apparently the Murrah Building in Oklahoma City was destroyed by a “superbomb,” a barometric bomb. Did I mention that Tim McVeigh was in front of me in line the other day buying a bagel? It’s true.
- Oi vey! Joooos!
- Michael Savage backtracks on Trump’s birtherism.
- 13th crystal skull found in Germany. Also fake.
- JFK, Jr. assassinated? Sure. Why not? My dad and I (also a Jr.) get mistaken for each other all the time.
- AE et al. for 9/11 Truth reject Jesse Ventura’s implausible claim of secret military directed energy weapon in favor of implausible claim of controlled demolition by secret military explosive device. Mr. Pot, I’d like you to meet Mr. Kettle.
- Even Trump surprised by what an ass he is!
- Hilarious parody of conspiracist thought in nice “How-to” form.
- “Be love! Awaken to your multidimensional self!” Part fourteen of the Hollow Earth Reality:
- Cancer cured, suppressed!
- HAARP signals are apparently off the charts, leading some…ok, one guy…to think that the New Madrid fault is going to blow.
This week in Osama bin Laden:
- US discovers Bin Laden’s spank bank. I’ll believe it when I see it, or as Jon Ronson put it in his tweet: “Oh if I was a conspiracy theorist I’d SO believe it was planted”
- From people who do not know what “proved” means or how evidence operates: “9/11 Symbolism Proves Osama Bin Laden Was Not The Mastermind“
- From Cryptomundo: “Was OBL as tall as Bigfoot?“
- Unequivocal evidence that Osama bin Laden was not killed earlier this month: Al Qaida stages a very convincing retaliatory killing of 80 in Pakistan.
- “Osama lives…and so do lizards from Draco.” The best thing to come out of New Zealand.
- Iranian State-Run Media: Fair and Balanced
- Red-Level Irony Alert: PrisonPlanet warns readers that Americans are gullible.
- Oops! 9/11 was an accident. Think TWA 800 conspiracies.
- How to never start a blog post:
“Bin Laden is NOT dead. Or is he? In the mind of the people who didn’t make the effort to investigate the details of the events of September 11, 2001, the recent announcement of Bin Laden’s death was an understandable relief. Bin Laden is most probably not alive today, but he is not dead. Confused yet? Great. Read on because it’s only starting.”
- From The Onion: “Other Guy named Osama bin Laden can finally relax.”
- Bin Laden and the Illuminati connection. And the CIA and Jews.
- Pakistan’s suspicious reaction to OBL’s death.
- Jesse Ventura again: “Maybe they killed an OBL lookalike, for some reason.“
- Poll proves delusional twits are delusional twits.
- A skeptical look at Osama conspiracies. In cartoon form!
Conspiracy Theory of the Week:
When they said they’d found bin Laden’s home movies, this was my first thought. Possibly I have toddler fatigue.
May I strongly recommend Go The F**k To Sleep by Adam Mansbach. We read the PDF and are going to buy a copy.
“You guys poop yourselves screaming “photoshop! photoshop!” when the birth certificate comes out but you take this at face value? Something’s broken.”
What is broken is our mechanisms for mandatory psychiatric care and, where necessary, involuntary committal.
Next they will say Osama id Obama.
Next they will say Osama is Obama.