Ghost Hunters Slash Fic. Really.

Yeah. It’s come to this. Writing about Ghost Hunters slash-fic. The “slash” does not mean that they finally met a ghost who was capable of carving them up. (Man, I’d totally record that episode.) It is a pairing of two characters in a TV show or movie and then making them have sex with each other. Want Kermit and Miss Piggy to get it on? Think that Shaggy and Scooby could build a relationship on something more than Scooby-Snax? Hell, you could even have Marge Simpson do it with the Church Lady. The possibilities are endless, and with your imagination and access to the Internet you can not only make it happen but also traumatize strangers!

But Ghost Hunters? Really? Yeah.

It feels like Jason is looming over him, menacing and Grant gets the strangest feeling that Jason is pissed, maybe wants to hurt him, and he tries to get a hold of himself, because it’s just Jason. His friend. He’s pissed, yeah, but not at him. Grant forgets, and takes another deep breath and holds it for a second even though that means they’re pressed against each other again. He lets it out slowly and he doesn’t think, he just does what feels right, and melts back against the wall and lets his head tilt to the side. And Jason just sort of goes with him, pressing him back and nosing at his cheek, a touch so soft Grant barely feels it. Jason whispers, “Grant” and sighs, and Grant thinks Jason is smelling his neck.

Two words: Neck odor. Sexy!

The comments are even better:

“ever since i started watching ghost hunters, i’ve always wanted to write some jason/grant. they are just too in love. <3333333”

But equally, no, even more disturbing is Tango/Steve fic (from Tango’s POV):

It’s too easy just to lean a little closer, brushing my mouth against his. One of us pushes harder, adding more pressure. I’m not sure which of us did it, but then Steve is kissing me hard, pushing me back until my back bumps up against a wall. His hands flit around me, either unsure of where to settle or unable to decide which part of me to hold on to.

His neck. Grab his neck with both hands and squeeze hard.

Of course, if you are gunning for actual throw-up, I recommend dwelling on the idea behind this image. In the end, they both look a little too much like Nintendo characters for me to take too seriously.

But the depths of hell can be only reached when you tag along with the boys from Paranormal State:

“Can I say, ‘I love you’ without implying that I want to marry you and bear your children through weird future-science?” Sergey panted mindlessly as he felt the squishy flesh giving at the back of Ryan’s throat to accommodate his member.

And this makes me wonder….is there Deadliest Catch slash fic? Dirty Jobs slash (gag) fic (“This time Barsky has to shave more than his head…”; aka, “Splendor in the Pooh”)? 60 Minutes slash fic?

There. I’m pretty sure I’ve hurt you. You’re welcome.


6 Responses to Ghost Hunters Slash Fic. Really.

  1. Eve says:

    What’s the deal with the Ghost Hunters pressing each other up against walls? And Steve and Tango seem to have no idea what to do or what is happening: “Dude, what was that?”

  2. Ken says:

    And this makes me wonder….is there ____ slash fic?

    Yes. Rule 34.

  3. Lindsay says:

    I always wanted to write a slash story about Oscar Wilde and Ernest Hemingway…the title would be “Wilde and Crazy.”

    J/K. But I’m not kidding you there is presidential slash fiction out there…the ones involving Taft make me shudder in terror

  4. Ithonicfury says:

    ” But I’m not kidding you there is presidential slash fiction out there…the ones involving Taft make me shudder in terror”

    Or the one where John Adams is an evil time traveler and has sex with Professor Xavier from the X-Men.

  5. Nicole says:

    Rule 34 of the Internet: If it exists, then somewhere, there is porn of it.

    (and, yes, there is Deadliest Catch slash fic. Not my thing personally, but hey…


  6. Bob says:

    “And clickclickpeep the crab waddled sideways over to the stranger at the other end of the cage and introduced himself by cleaning her anntenae. ‘Aren’t all the other crabs here so phony?’ he asked….”

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