You thought you were safe because nothing happened last week, but THIS week is the one we’ve been waiting for. So grab yer guns and head to the bomb shelters. I’ll come and get you when it’s all over. It’s time for the week in conspiracy:
- Did imaginary nanothermite make 9/11 first responders sick?
- No, it was nuclear weapons, a story that seems to be making the rounds.
- Lovely. The John Birch Society embraces the Tea Party.
- Here’s one from the real news: General orders investigation into psy-ops plying trade on Congress. Oddly, I did not see this in the weirdosphere.
- The KC star’s ombudsdman asks whether it is worth it to address goofy conspiracy theories.
- I…this…guy…I have no idea.
- Have you heard about the TRANSHUMANIST AGENDA!?! Me neither, but apparently we should be scared because Johnny-5 is alive. Oh, this is part 11:
- Wisconson has fewer hate groups, sez SPLC.
- So you know how Charlie Sheen, failure, managed to emphasize his uselessness on Alex Jones’s show? Well, now the certifiable loon (Jones…I know it’s hard to distinguish them when they are piled on so thick) is touring the mainstream media about the interview and pushing his goof. Do they know that he has all the credibility of a…git? I thought the mainstream media was all bad, X-lax.
- My favorite blog entry this week: “Earth to Paulbots: You Are Irrelevant.” (Washington Times)
- This week was the anniversary of the Battle of Los Angeles, when the US Army engaged the alien threat and, according to MJ-12 documents, downed two alien spacecraft. Tim Farley (whatstheharm.net) reminded me of this, and I played the Battle of Los Angeles episode of Skeptoid to my class of ROTC students. When the episode ended, one student asked, “Where do you find this stuff?”
- Leave it to Bill O’Reilly to make me agree with Karl Rove, when the egg-headed prince of fracking darkness appeared on his show to slam the truthers, Paulites, birthers, etc. Damn you, O’Reilly!
- Mega-Jew George Soros is driving unrest in the Arab world. Is it me, or did nobody give a squirt about Soros before Beck started talking about him?
- Seth Mnookin noticed an uptick in the number of tweets about the “flouridation conspiracy,” an evil plot to strengthen you teeth. I know that an initiative in Calgary just went through to block flouridation.
- Obama declares long-awaited national state of emergency because of…Libya? This is, of course, the pretext, sez the conspiracy fringe, of Obama taking away guns and locking babies in concentration camps. I looked for anything like confirmation in the mainstream press. Nothing popped out. I mean, really, nothing.
- The aflockapylpse is spreading to several different species! Is it HAARP? Really probably not!!!! (And I thought I was OCD! This guy takes the taco!)
- The History Channel (oh, if it only were history!) examines the Georgia Guidestones. Hopefully, I’ll be doing something infinitely better on them soon. Stay tuned.
- Can we give Texas back to Mexico? Would they even take it? GOPPers in the failed state muses about Obama’s energy policy: “Maybe it is part of the New World Order to promote chaos and division so that government can be proclaimed as the liberator and to justify the expansion of the federal government much like national healthcare.” Classic conspiracist non-thought.
- Some guy protests…everything: “Who is strong enough to challenge these godless liberal intellectuals in colleges all across America, who claim that capitalism has failed?” NOBODY!!! I AM ALL POWERFUL!!!! I MEAN IF I COULD ONLY GET A JOB!!!!! MUAHAHAHAH!
- I’m including this one because the title was poetry: “Analysis of the Global Insurrection Against Neo-Liberal Economic Domination and the Coming American Rebellion.” Just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?
- “Is World War III already being fought online?” Yeah, if you mean World of Warcraft.
- Bug Girl, the only person who can possibly prevent me from becoming eaten alive by bedbugs, tweeted that Canada’s ex-defense minister believes that the US has UFO technology. Canada, you used to be so level-headed.
- The fapping to disaster-porn continued as Above Top Secret reported that the Christchurch earthquake was predicted at week ahead of time.
- How not to pull off a hoax. 1) Photoshop a famous picture. Enter the NASA/Masonic conspiracy:
- Did you hear? There’s an immunocontraceptive in the flu vaccine! What, are we deer? (You can tell that it’s going to be cool when they start with a quote from Gen. Stubblebine, the guy who tried to walk through a wall in The Men Who Stare at Goats. Really.)
Conspiracy Theory of the Week:
There was only one contender for conspiracy theory of the week. It was Alex Jones’s complete freakout, what quickly became known as the “Justin Beibler [sic] Rant.”
Seriously, how is this guy not in some sort of home?
RJB
Skeptical Humanities 
Is it me, or did nobody give a squirt about Soros before Beck started talking about him?
Bill O’Reilly was ranting about him before Beck was really prominent. Admittedly, I don’t think O’Reilly’s viewers back then were half as dedicated as Beck’s are now, though, but there were a few lovely little bits here and there.
Ah, that makes sense. Thanks!
…..I could say something funny here, but I won’t, because I feel uncomfortable about making fun of the mentally ill.
This man clearly needs psychiatric help.
*insert not-a-doctor disclaimer here*
It’s hard to feel pity for Alex Jones. He appears to be highly productive in many areas of his life, and he is at times clearly a fully aware self-conscious showboater. Once I heard a segment of his show where he launched into what sounded like a spontaneous rant, but in the background, except as he gets worked up, this is playing behind him (starting at :25) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xscsuuKF6ZE
It’s deliberate. It’s show. It’s dangerous. He’s a would be demagogue and deserves a good laughing at. So go ahead. 🙂
B
Oh man, that “all mass media wants to promote transhumanism” clip reminds me to check on vigilant citizen so I can lose all my faith in humanity.
…and yep, that didn’t take too long. If anyone needs me, I will be trying to form my own sovereign nation so I can hopefully keep the stupid at bay.
So this is Alex Jones. What a tool! And like many tools he doesn’t know what he is talking about. In his rant about Justin Bieber is hilarious. He doesn’t seem aware for example that Justin is Canadian. (Yeah I, a Canadian, hang my head in shame at that one.)
He rants about Magellan but manages to get so much wrong it is incredible. Well for example Magellan sailed from Spain. The voyage was a Spanish affair not Portuguese. Although Magellan was Portuguese. Magellan sailed not in one ship but 5 ships. One completed the voyage and it was not captained by Magellan. Juan de Elcano Captained the one ship home, the Victoria. Oh and 18 men sailed the ship into Seville not 11. Also 13 men who they had been forced to leave in the Cape Verde Islands were subsequently returned.
Then there is the fact that Magellan got killed in the Phillipines when he foolishly got involved in some interstate conflict among the locals and thus did not circumnavigate the globe, the first person to actually do the circumnavigation was a slave called Enrique who was originally from the Phillipines who had sent to spain via the Cape of Good Hope and ended up part of Magellan’s voyage to be an interpretor when they got there. Enrique abandoned the Spanish when they got to the Phillipines along with arranging for more than 20 Spaniards to get killed. Enrique apparently was seriously pissed off with Magellan and his crew.
I’m just amazed at these blowhards who don’t seem to have a clue who pontificate about things they know next to zero about. Alex Jones should join O’Reilly, “the tides go in, the tides go out”, in his temple of ignorance.