It’s a balmy day here in Wisconsin. In December. It’s probably just the sun or hippies or something.
A week of editing, writing, crusading, and, above all, grading has passed, and I am up to my eyes in tales of small groups of people doing very naughty things in secret. So let’s get to the conspiracy theories!
- The apotheosis of civic engagement fail, with just a hint of racism in the comments. The Second American Revolution.
- This one came out on the 29th, but I’m sure I had heard that Obama had toppled the unspellable regime in Libya in order to install Al Qaeda. A Texipublican congresscritter said this.
- NOAA scientists are on alert for the solar maximum. I don’t know why they are so worried. The E.T.s are protecting us from the solar storms. Oh wait, my bad. They are protecting us from solar storms of the second sun. Anyone could make that mistake.
- The top 11 pop artists accused of Satanism. Satan will win because Bieber is not on this list.
- There’s nothing scarier than a rogue geoengineer. A go-it-alone type of chemtrail…-er. (Is there a word for people who advocate chemtrails?)
- Apparently we have combat troops in the Sinai Peninsula. Because of some reason.
- There is a conspiracy theory art exhibit going on right now in New Zealand. Here’s the promotional poster.
- Taylor Swift at the AMAs: clearly an Illuminati initiation ritual. (How many times does someone have to get initiated before the initiation sticks?)
- Also over at the House of Mental Illness, Vigilant Citizen gets messages through German bank commercials, not unlike how Manson received messages through The White Album. Actually VC was on a bit of tear this last couple of weeks. The IRS building: scary!
- And now Alex Jones is getting into the act.
- An article titled: 21 Blatant Lies Obama Has Told you Directly To Your Face. Maybe these are lies, but they forgot to add “…While Kicking a Puppy with Cancer” to the headline.
- In a website written in all Comic Sans, an account of generals who have admitted the reality of UFOs.
- Um. This.
- A summary of rightist nuttery at the NYT.
- Please, please, PLEASE, Jesus, let Dr. Oz and Mike Adams shred each other in a cage match!
- Wow. The no-airplane 9/11 crowd is pretty unpopular, but they are still out there.
- A comprehensive list of all FEMA death camps!
- Whadda mensch: Ben Stein: “Control Freaks” Use Things Like Environmentalism And “Keeping The Jews In Line” To Control People.
- Seismic evidence reveals that the Twin Towers were demolished with explosives. Or incendiaries. Or whatever. Published in the Journal of 9/11 Studies, where people go to publish when real editors laugh at them.
- Haha! I saw a lot of goofy stuff on my twitter feed about the recent “Ozark Doomsday” episode of Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura. The locals apparently think that Jesse is nuts.
- ALL THE COUNTRIES ARE GOING TO SECEED FROM THE US!
- You know who I go to when I have a question about Shakespeare authorship? A business professor. I am rather annoyed that the Sunday Herald papered over nutter Christopher Carr’s his lack of credentials by describing him as an “academic,” which may be technically true, but it does not follow that said academic is competent in all fields. At the root of his criticism lies the claim: ”Shakespeare’s sudden production of top works did not tie in with current thinking that it takes about 10,000 hours of practice to reach the top of any field.” I’m sure he never spent 10,000 hours using English, dingus.
- Obama to seek 3rd term. And he could do it too, because he steals elections and then doesn’t tell anyone, thereby exposing the truth about how he stole the election!
- Bianca Jagger has some crazy time, declaring chemtrails to be real…in Sweden!
- Was James Holmes programmed by a therapist to commit the Batman shootings? If he remembers it, it was clearly not a good programmer.
- Who was behind the Walmart strike? Only the boogieman himself, George Soros, says FoxNews. Also, Monica Crowley (an expert on what, exactly?) says that War on Christmas=Plot to Bring About Big Government.
- From Xeni at BoingBoing comes the ultimate in Reptillian overlord skin care.
- “Thinking Hard” is part this website’s motto, and it sure looks like it is for them when you look at their criticism of how Dallas diminishes JFK conspiracy theories. They also seem very proud about getting to the bottom of things, but they make the mistake of staying at the bottom.
- They dug up Yassir Arafat to see if Israel killed him. Sigh.
Twit of the Week:
Jesse Ventura started a rumor this week that TruTV is messing with his show. Curiously, he has not updated his twitter feed since. Perhaps his overlords at the network are reminding him of who he works for? Muahahahah! Then this came across the feed:
CT W/ Jesse Ventura @CTWJV
Jesse Ventura: Is Time Warner Sabotaging Conspiracy Theory? If you are A cable, dish network, or directv… fb.me/1r0pwb6XD
Headline of the Week:
From the Southern Poverty Law Center:
Conspiracy Theory of the Week:
And with that, let’s face it, conspiracy theories are now done. They just don’t get any better than that! It’s all downhill from here, folks!