Eve and I are back from a whirlwind tour of Savannah, GA, and the whole time I was there I kept thinking how screwed I would be if a tsunami hit. We did ghost tours (ouch), we kicked around tide pools, and I got my first mild sunburn in years. Meanwhile, the Bilderbergers were meeting in Virginia, attracting every damned nut with a enough coin, or enough chutzpah to beg enough coin, to go and protest. This week in conspiracy was a week in Bilderberg conspiracy theories.
- This year, in keeping with their reputation for secrecy, the Bilderbergers put their entire attendance roster up on the web, and they were covered in the Washington Post.
- The best/worst part of the whole affair was the live streaming of the protests. Lots of screaming, lots of grandstanding, not a lot of effect.
- Even the clownish WorldNewsDaily got in on it.
- The Guardian gets it right. The Bilderberg protests were really more of an Alex Jones promotional event. Take for instance the fact that the Chantilly hotel was closed to everyone. This universal ban is reported by Jones as: “Alex Jones Banned from Bilderberg Hotel, Calls for Press Mob.”
- The Daily Fail gets it wrong, quoting one of “Jones’s sources” as saying that machine gun nests were going up on the premises of the hotel.
- Technocrats on the rise at Bilderberg meeting. Apparently, Dr. Praugh, it does take a rocket scientist to make a good guess about the agenda at the Bilderberg meeting.
- Jesse Ventura reprinted a goofy press release to the media about the Bilderberg meeting.
- IntelHub reported that the Bilderbergers were planning a fake bomb threat. It never happened. The IntelHub does not take down the stupid baseless story and continues to wonder why nobody takes them seriously. Well, that and this headline: “Bilderberg Building Security Perimeter Around ENTIRE Westfield Marriott” (That’s what a “perimeter” does, ding-dongs.)
- Mark Dice is stopped in the police station parking lot after doing a couple of strange things (ignoring a no-entrance sign, filming the back of a police station lot, etc.) and has a cry about it on his live stream. God, conspiracy theorists named Mark Dice are unpleasant.
- Alex Jones bullhorned the Bilderbergers at night to keep them awake:
- CRIPPLE FIGHT!! “Glenn Beck Ignores Bilderberg, Attacks Alex Jones.”
- What Infowars pushed as the “Occupy Bilderberg” theme is so densely packed with goof that not even light can escape it:
- Some of the biggest fake news was that the Bilderbergers were discussing ways to off Ron Paul. (The number of Ron Paul signs in front of that hotel was significant.) The source for this is an “unnamed insider” working for Big Jim Tucker, who is still not dead from heart failure somehow and has been following the Bilderbergers since I was knee-high to a horny-toad:
The one that struck me as the second-dumbest allegation was made by a guy who was arrested and then said that he was forcibly to be vaccinated under penalty of being denied bail. When I first got the tweet, I replied:
@kr3at That was funniest thing I’ve read all day. Ha!
@rjblaskiewicz Actually happened, his arrest is up on YouTube. They told him take a TB vaccine or be held until your trial
This Week in Plain Old Conspiracy
- A Louisiana paper ran an ad this week claiming that the President and Democrats want to murder Christians. I refuse to believe that the saviors of the republic will be such hysterical ninnies.
- Alex Jones debuted a social network for imbeciles, planet.infowars.com.
- Ancient Aliens come from Satan. Finally, I find common ground with conspiracy theorists.
- Here’s a new one: H.G. Wells was an architect of the NWO. I presume they don’t mean the hot H.G. Wells from Warehouse 13. Also, the wikipedia symbol is a really oblique reference to the Tower of Babel.
- This week, the CDC denied that zombies exist, which of course can only mean one thing…ZOMBIES!!!!! You can track the zombie apocalypse here.
- OneRadioNetwork posted a completely useless form that they advise people DEMAND that their doctors sign before administering a vaccination. The woo is strong in this one. If a doctor doesn’t sign in, it might be because it is total crap.
- Crazy birthers go crazy after CNN calls them crazy.
- Ron Paul supporters plan to have a not-victory party at the Republican Convention. This is after Mitt Romney is reportedly nowhere near taking Texas for the Republican nomination. Godlike Productions goes one further and reported that Ron Paul defeated Mitt Romney for the nomination. (A hat tip should go to Eve, by the way, who quipped: “AND he won the Democratic nomination.”)
- The Canadian published these sentences:
A Philadelphia witness reports that he or she saw a UFO on 22 May 2012 according to testimony supplied from UFO Sightings Daily.
The kind of UFO which the witness showed is consistent with the “lights” described in the “Book of Revelation” which the ancient Pagan Gnostics linked to an alien orchestrated “false flag” scenario designed to lead into the New World Order.
- Liked the title, disliked the content: “The Paranoid Style of American Governance.”
- The Denver Post gets birther coverage wrong, according to the Columbia Journalism Review.
- Even veterans, whose holy feet never touch the ground, can be conspiracy peddling dinks.
- When I saw the headline that “drones had been shot down over Texas” I imagined that they were those newfangled police drones that everyone is scared of. Nope. It’s just a couple of hillbillies shooting down their own toys at close range.
- This should have been the week of radioactive tuna conspiracies, since higher levels of radioactive cesium were found in US waters in migrating tuna that were presumably off the coast of Japan during the Fukushima disaster. Conspiracists freaked out, but the levels are still way below danger threshold standards in Japan and the US.
- A concerned Arizonan’s pleas to his fellow voters to keep his state’s politicians off of the Colbert Report.
- Trump continued talking this week. And Romney did not publicly call for him to grow up and act like an adult, which I consider a failing.
- Politifact checks out Birther claims. All of the pants are on fire. All of the pants.
- A Washington Post columnist demands that Mitt Romney prove he’s not a unicorn. Bill Maher starts up a “wifer” conspiracy.
- Pravda, apparently still a thing, says that the USA uses sex to control the world.
- Animal Planet creates, airs unwatchable mermaid conspiracy show.
- A shout out to the Among The Truthers website of Jonathan Kay, whose book of the same name was the one I wanted to write. The bastard.
- According to David Icke: “11yr Old Boy Now Dictating US Policy as Gen. Dempsey Calls for ‘Use of Force’ in Syria“
- A Masonic Lodge was vandalized in Phoenixville, PA with “an profane, agrammatical screed.” I don’t know about you, but I’d consider the author a suspect.
- The We Are Change People are completely crackers. Take the headline: “CNN Founder Ted Turner Calls For 100 Years Of Forced Sterilizations, Abortions.” Tell me where Ted Turner uses the word “forced abortions” or “forced sterilizations” in this clip, because I’m not hearing it. You aren’t journalists so much as you are self-humiliation machines, posting videos of your fail for the amusement of your betters (basically everyone). If you weren’t so horrid to everyone, I might feel sorry for you.
Headline of the Week
It comes from The Guardian, and is more of a subtitle:
“Protesters at Bilderberg up their game: ‘What do they want? Hegelian dialectics! When do they want it? Now!’”
It was closely followed by a headline from the Weekly World News:
“Zombies vs. Cannibals: The War is On!”
Twit of the week:
A lot of goofy things were flying this week. Very quotable. Take Steve Martin’s comment:
When you see a White Supremacist interviewed, you are immediately impressed at how they are so…so…supreme. — Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo)
Jon Ronson (who was on the DisinfoCast this week) tweeted about a conversation he had with a cab driver:
3m jonronson @jonronson Taxi driver last night. Used to be a whale hunter in the Antarctic…now he writes about “the history nobody knows about”…
3m jonronson @jonronson …like how “Bilderberg and the Trilateral commission are the secret world government” I said, “EVERYONE has heard of that.”
2m jonronson @jonronson He looked annoyed that I’d heard of the thing nobody has heard about. He said “in 100 years the Jews will rise up and take over. Yes? YES?”
jonronson @jonronson I shrugged and said, “well I suppose we’ll have to wait and see.”
There was this nugget from Bilderberg, which is so true, since Luke Rudkowski is not a reporter:
Truth Excavator @TruthExcavator FAIL: Mediaite calls @Lukewearechange “a reporter working for Alex Jones” http://bit.ly/KlBS6k #OccupyBilderberg #MSM #Media #Bilderberg
The Center for Inquiry had a good one this week too:
The Truth Excavator needs a derivative hashtag timeout, I think:
9/11 Truth Spring And Bilderberg Spring http://t.co/06zVwXw1 #OccupyBilderberg #Bilderberg #BilderbergSpring #TruthSpring #September11 — Truth Excavator(@TruthExcavator)
Sean Carroll found something unpleasant in his hotel:
The hotel I’m staying at is hosting an Oath Keepers meeting. The gun-toting wing of Ron Paul Nation. http://t.co/njQSzyTO – Sean Carroll (@seanmcarroll)
This one made me happy:
Illinois rep EXPLODES on the House floor! IT’s ALL FALLING… http://t.co/sxmvEQAb – 911truth (@911Truth)
But legislators aren’t the only things exploding this week:
Conspiracy Theory of the Week
I like this one because I’m a U2 nut. Bono is the frontman for global genocide:
That’s it, people. More is coming. More is always coming.