Another week, another shipment of conspiracy theory arrives. This week, conspiracy land was all abuzz over a few stories.
The biggest story in the wackosphere was by far the crash of the American helicopter with members of SEAL Team 6 aboard. Some conspiracy theorists said that they thought the military was covering its tracks regarding what they believe is a false bin Laden assassination story. Turns out, not that it will make any difference to the hardcore delusional, none of those killed seem to have been on the raid. I look forward to the apologies and corrections–ha! However, I think that a new chapter in the strange alternative history of 9/11 that the paranoid are writing has been outlined with this one. I tried to look up how big a unit SEAL Team 6 is to see what the odds would be that the same team would have perished, but that’s classified–you don’t tell the Samurai how many ninjas you have, I guess. My favorite take was from late 19th-century pugilist Finian Cunningham, pictured below:
- If you don’t see how badly mangled and contradictory the presuppositions underlying this series of questions, you have what it takes to be a Truther–very little indeed.
- Washington, D.C. is apparently a hotspot for negative aliens like the Grays. We need to attract a more positive intersteller clientele.
- Were two astronomers assassinated to keep the lid on an upcoming global killer? It makes you wonder what the point of that would be.
- What could Zen Gardner possibly have against Vatican assassins? And Jews? And the Illuminati? The Illuminati love us!
- Speaking of the Illuminati, who also run the Navy SEALs, check out this video of a military exercised that scared the crap out of people in Boston. Conspiracy theorists are saying that there was “holographic technology” deployed. Eek! And in the first vid, check out the comment at 1:49 or so. Pretty funny.
- Dude gets astronomy software, thinks he’s Carl Sagan.
- The NAFTA/Muslim Brotherhood connection exposed.
- “Why do people believe in conspiracy theories?” asks Annie Jacobson. Because people like you produce sentences like with a straight face: “Then, of course, there was Roswell – believed by some to be where the government has long sequestered evidence of alien life. In researching my book about Area 51, I spoke to a credible source who told me that, in 1951, he worked on a program to reverse-engineer an odd shaped aircraft that had crashed in New Mexico in 1947, and that it was a Soviet propaganda hoax.”
- Does anyone ever die accidentally in the conspiracist world? No. Georgie Patton whacked. This one is in my area of expertise.
- Is Rosanne the new Victoria Jackson? Sing the national anthem, Rosanne! Show us your patriotism! Heehee.
- Rick Perry’s nightmarish prayer rally gave the microphone to people who think the Statue of Liberty is a pagan Freemason demonic idol. Oh, as they say, dear.
- We’ve often maintained this in Atlanta, but nobody ever listens. Denver sucks.
- Wisconsin: new home of the brownshirts.
- The architectural conspiracies surrounding the Denver Airport are a hoot.
- Yeah, I have to mention the wide coverage of new Jackie O. tapes. I don’t know why people think she would have any special insight into the assassination. It’s like taking Latoya’s word for it.
- Pakistan (Motto: “Land of WHAAAA?!?!“)
- The automobile death of Albert Camus–caused by Soviets! From the unimpeachable source, “some guy.”
- The chav riots of 2011 are now the subject of conspiratorial observation.
- US to become victim of crappy TV movie plot! 4 realz!
- When I read the headline, “Monsanto Plans To Sell Sweet Corn In Your Local Supermarket,” my first thought was, “Aaand…?”
- Yes, yesterdays’ stock market crash was clearly George Soros’ fault. And the proceeds are going to go into traditional liberal causes, like aborting nuns or something.
- John Wallace starts his article called: “THE TEA PARTY MESSAGE TO THE DEMOCRAT-SOCALISTS: WE ARE COMING FOR YOU!” with the sentence: “The Democrat-Socialists in Washington have been stepping over each other trying to get in front of the TV cameras to call Tea Party members terrorists and mean-spirited, right-wing extremists.” Irony meter blown.
- Zionists. Norway. You get the idea.
- From Eve: “It was a dark and stormy Illuminati.” At the randi forums.
- You can’t throw a rock in America without hitting a concentration camp!
- You know, Alex, some people who are alone at home at night with a computer watch porn. Try that. Although, let’s face it, you do whack to misery. “Bankers Have Abolished Congress.”
- Ha! Peter LaBarbera, who I mentioned last week, lost his group’s tax-exempt status. Stupid gay tax agenda.
- Oh! Nazi conspiracies! The Nazis mapped the hollow Earth! (Although, then again, I believe that one of their early rocket engineers thought that we lived on the inside of the earth. Could someone find that reference for me?)
That’s it. I’m done for now. Stay tuned, I’m sure for the “double dip recession conspiracy theories” next week, I’m sure. The next few weeks are going to be bonkers for me. Classes starting up. I have 2 Dragon*Con panels to organize (conspiracy theories and skepticism and the humanities) and a good deal of IIG-Atlanta work to prepare before the Con. Yikes! Oh, and a book chapter to finish tomorrow. Don’t take any wooden nickels.